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Original poster

Help me feel ok about this will

387 replies

TerryWogansWig · 28/06/2025 18:08

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

OP posts:
InterIgnis · 28/06/2025 22:14

hehehesorry · 28/06/2025 22:12

50k isn't lifechanging, it's a nice help but everyone saying it's a lifechanging amount is probably doing so bad they'd lose it and see no life changes anyway. I'd be pissed if I was left 5% by a close relative with no kids so they could feed cats or plow money into a cancer cure thats never going to happen or whatever the charities are too

Then be pissed 🤷🏻‍♀️

That’s would be entirely your prerogative, and indeed problem.

Bridgetjonesheart · 28/06/2025 22:13

She sounds like a legend

PepsiForEva · 28/06/2025 22:12

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 22:09

You are spectacular missing the point.
£ 50 thousands is not that much.
it could not buy you a house or even give you a decent deposit in some parts of the country

where as £250 thousands could maybe buy a decent house or even a deposit in the more expensive areas of the county.
op maybe has children who she may wish to help onto the property ladder.

Show quote history

TBH I think you are missing the point- it's DH's aunt. She had the perfect right to leave her money any way she wished. Not to greedy family members and their hangers on who only saw pound signs in their eyes.

If the OP wants to help her Dcs get on the housing ladder then she should do so. Not off the back of greedy expectations of someone else.

hehehesorry · 28/06/2025 22:12

50k isn't lifechanging, it's a nice help but everyone saying it's a lifechanging amount is probably doing so bad they'd lose it and see no life changes anyway. I'd be pissed if I was left 5% by a close relative with no kids so they could feed cats or plow money into a cancer cure thats never going to happen or whatever the charities are too

Gingerbreadman1972 · 28/06/2025 22:11

My sister is childless. I dont expect her to leave my children anything. Obviously if she chooses to, that's lovely, but they aren't her responsibility and if her life had worked out how she wanted (children of her own) , then everything would pass to them and not go anywhere near nieces and nephews.

50k from someone who isn't a parent or grandparent is an extremely decent chunk..most ppl don't inherit from aunts or uncles.

Childless ppl should be able to leave their money where they like without nephews or nieces feeling entitled. Your first mistake was to feel someone who owes you nothing, should leave your DH and his sibling everything.

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 22:10

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 22:09

You are spectacular missing the point.
£ 50 thousands is not that much.
it could not buy you a house or even give you a decent deposit in some parts of the country

where as £250 thousands could maybe buy a decent house or even a deposit in the more expensive areas of the county.
op maybe has children who she may wish to help onto the property ladder.

Show quote history

I’m not missing any point. An inheritance is a ‘bonus’. It should never be relied upon. It is literally not your money, until it lands in your bank account. Plan your life around how you can provide for yourself, not what someone may or may not leave you. You’re just asking for disappointment.

cupfinalchaos · 28/06/2025 22:10

CatherinedeBourgh · 28/06/2025 18:12

You are getting 50k from an aunt and you are complaining? Other than from a parent, I would never expect to get anything from any relative.

It’s not even her aunt😂

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 22:09

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 22:02

Has the OP said they’re on minimum wage?

Show quote history

You are spectacular missing the point.
£ 50 thousands is not that much.
it could not buy you a house or even give you a decent deposit in some parts of the country

where as £250 thousands could maybe buy a decent house or even a deposit in the more expensive areas of the county.
op maybe has children who she may wish to help onto the property ladder.

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 22:09

LondonFox · 28/06/2025 22:07

Like why would I even care?
Hope everyone I love will be well taken care of and they can go on end enjoy their lives.
But you do you ofc

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You were the one who assigned a value to having someone visit their grave by saying ‘I wouldn’t visit her grave’. I couldn’t give a shit, I’ll be dead.

InterIgnis · 28/06/2025 22:08

LondonFox · 28/06/2025 21:58

Well in that case OP can still be mad.
I'd never visit her fucking grave and cut everyone who thinks that was a right thing to do.
Good she is dead tho.

Show quote history

Lol’ling from the afterlife

Canadian Lol GIF
OneNewLeader · 28/06/2025 22:07

So the loss of her money is greater to get over than the actual loss of her? Got it.

Rainbow1235 · 28/06/2025 22:07

how greedy and ungrateful are u . My father passed Away 4 weeks ago . 10 months after my mother and left myself and 2 brothers very well provided for . Hand on heart we would rather our parents be alive and living their best life . The money honestly means nothing to us now . I never post negative on here but peaple like u make me seriously angry . 😡

Hedgehogbrown · 28/06/2025 22:07

Oomph. Yeah I would have hoped for more if she was as rich as that. But 50k would be life changing for me.

LondonFox · 28/06/2025 22:07

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 21:59

To be honest you sound so unpleasant that I can’t see many people visiting your grave either 😬

Show quote history

Like why would I even care?
Hope everyone I love will be well taken care of and they can go on end enjoy their lives.
But you do you ofc

InterIgnis · 28/06/2025 22:04

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 21:15

Op you do NOT have ti adjust your views
I’m shocked at some of these replies.
Not sure if it’s jealousy or ‘money is the root all evil’
A lot of good can be done with money.

Show quote history

Neither. I have money and I also like money. I however do not, and have never, counted on anything that isn’t in either my hand or my name.

Adjusting her views would benefit her by virtue of avoiding disappointment. A lot of good can indeed be done with money, but this money was and isn’t OP’s to do anything, good or bad, with.

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 22:02

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 22:01

I was making the point about the amount.
And minimum wage doesn’t always qualify you a mortgage needed.

Show quote history

Has the OP said they’re on minimum wage?

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 22:02

LondonFox · 28/06/2025 22:01

It's irrelevant chat not an UAT contract.
We do not need to read every update 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

Edited
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You only need to read the OP to know that that the woman is dead.

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 22:01

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 21:56

I assume they’ve already made provision to house themselves? Most people pay for their housing through their salaries.

Show quote history

I was making the point about the amount.
And minimum wage doesn’t always qualify you a mortgage needed.

LondonFox · 28/06/2025 22:01

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 21:52

I knew the general standard of reading comprehension on this site was poor but fucking hell, this takes the biscuit

Show quote history

It's irrelevant chat not an UAT contract.
We do not need to read every update 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 21:59

LondonFox · 28/06/2025 21:58

Well in that case OP can still be mad.
I'd never visit her fucking grave and cut everyone who thinks that was a right thing to do.
Good she is dead tho.

Show quote history

To be honest you sound so unpleasant that I can’t see many people visiting your grave either 😬

LondonFox · 28/06/2025 21:58

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 21:48

She’s dead.

Show quote history

Well in that case OP can still be mad.
I'd never visit her fucking grave and cut everyone who thinks that was a right thing to do.
Good she is dead tho.

PepsiForEva · 28/06/2025 21:57

a couple of years ago DH's uncle left circa £50 k to each of his seven nieces and nephews.

£1.8 million went in IHT. The rest - obviously substantial- went to several charities. DH was the executor. He had other members of the family demanding that he help them contest the will 'for the children'. (i.e- their adult children). Children who in some cases had never met DUncle. Other cousins who had not seen him for years.

I thought less of them. TBH I don't think much of you, OP either. It's not concern. It's greed.

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 21:56

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 21:55

Thing is , £250,000 couldn’t even buy you a decent house , in some parts of the country, let alone £50,000…

I assume they’ve already made provision to house themselves? Most people pay for their housing through their salaries.

TammyJones · 28/06/2025 21:55

Thing is , £250,000 couldn’t even buy you a decent house , in some parts of the country, let alone £50,000…

BIossomtoes · 28/06/2025 21:52

Beachtastic · 28/06/2025 21:52

She'll probably still get the emails!

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She won’t be able to read them though.