Help me feel ok about this will

A distant relative did this. Left the amount up to inheritance tax level to nephews/nieces and the rest tax free to charities.

Gold Digger.

Totally agree with you. I have one nephew I absolutely adore and he and his mum make big time efforts to spend time with me. I also supported his mum when he was born as she was having big time health issues at the time. He is a darling little lad who is kind, considerate, funny, and delightful and we are very close.

Not so with my other sister's children - they are an obnoxious family all round and I wouldn't choose to spend time with them. Sadly my sister's husband has had a very bad influence on all of them - it's unfortunate but she's an adult and has made her choices.

The notion of being "forced" to give my money to family members just because I'm related to them is abhorrent. I'd far rather give my money to the Donkey Sanctuary than a load of money-grubbing oafs who view me as a cheque-book. The OP in this post sounds rather like my sister's grotty husband: just views the Auntie as a chequebook and feels entitled to have a cut of the cash. Yuck.

It's not even your aunt!!! If anyone gets to feel perhaps a little perplexed it's your husband. But even then...

It's everyone's right to leave their money two whoever they want. If she wanted to leave her money to charity then so be it. Good for her.

Get over it - if you want some money then earn it yourself.

sounds like you spent the money in your head before she was even dead.

so grabby OP. Be thankful for your £50k.

As 1 of 4 in a working class family I will be extremely grateful to inherit 1/4 of my parents home assuming they don’t end up spending it on care costs! Never occurred to me that my (childless) aunt/ uncles would leave me a penny!

I did not assign any value, it is a fact that people do care about their legacy and "who remembers them" factor.
Somwone who pledged xy amount to a charities probably more than others ;)
They do have peoole employed to talk you into it. It's not a secret lol

Years ago, my then-partner was asked by his elderly uncle to be one of the executors to his will. It was only then that my partner found out his uncle had more than £15,000,000. The uncle had been more fortunate in life than his younger brother (my partner's dad). For example, both brothers had passed the 11+ exam, but their family could only afford to send the eldest to grammar school. The eldest went on to university and ended up with a great career, whereas his brother ended up working in a factory.

When the uncle died, I was convinced that a significant amount of money was coming my partner's way, (although my partner said he wasn't bothered if he got anything). It was just as well my partner wasn't bothered, because he wasn't left a penny. I think the uncle's teenage grand-daughter got the lot.

The “family are everything/blood family” crew make me laugh. It’s reminiscent of Eastenders. I have far closer relationships with friends than I do with some of my family… I have nieces and nephews who I haven’t seen for years, don’t know what country they’re living in, don’t have a phone number for them, nor they me… why on earth would I leave them my hard-earned money instead of leaving it to close friends and/or a local charity that’s dear to me?

My great aunt did this. I was the only one who looked after her and made sure her bills were paid (by me) etc whilst she just banked her pension and owned her own home outright. She left everything to a donkey sanctuary she had never even visited! She didn’t even like donkeys-she liked cats! I was a pissed off-least of all because I couldn’t get back the money I had spent on her never mind anything else.

I have to wonder how much you reached out to her over the decades, if you visited her, took her to dinner, sent her birthday presents, often telephoned just to say hello.
I have only one close-ish relative, and I think she's likely to expect me to leave everything to her. But why would I bother, to someone who never calls, never sends thank-yous for gifts? I'm thinking any money would be better left to charities.

Her money to do what she wants, not yours. So sad you think otherwise.

You'd need a heart of stone not to have a laugh at this one. 😂

I'm planning on doing something similar to be honest. I'll leave everything to my mum but if she's passed, then my niece and nephew will get a similar amount to you. My home will be donated to a domestic violence charity as emergency accommodation for women and children leaving abusive relationships and I'll probably leave them funds to cover costs for maybe a decade

I mean there are good charities out there that actually help good causes and then there’s the ones that just divert funds and fund their CEOs or execs life. Actively praying on old folks good will. What do you want to bet she’s not left this money to one like that but regardless family comes first… to me anyway. And close family too. Also what’s wrong with leaving money to adults? They don’t deserve it because they are older than 18?

Just wanted to post a different perspective. 25 years ago when we moved into our present home we were told our immediate neighbour was a recluse who hated all her neighbours (told to us by the queen b neighbour) my husband as it was summer was working in the garden and noticed one night her lights were still on. He kept checking and at 2 pm went through her back gate and looked In her window and she was on the floor. Long story short we spent the next 10 years shopping cooking attending hosp appointments with her as we thought she had no family. Imagine our disgust when she died 7 nieces and nephews suddenly appeared. Months later we were invited to her will reading which shocked us as we thought she had no money and she left us £2k and the remaining £800k to her family and they threaten to challenge the will. Some greedy people out there.

I got a gift of £2000 from an uncle I was close to, I never expected or wanted anything and was touched he remembered me in his will (written when I was much younger) - most of his several million went to a wonderful hospice where he passed - I still support them myself every year.

OP it was her money to do what she wanted with, consider all the good works it will pay for.

We're they charities that meant a lot to her?

hahahahahahahahahahaah!

Auntie knew what she was doing.

My Great Aunt left 100% of her £1M+ estate to charity 30 years ago, minus a couple of hundred pounds for my dad to “cover his expenses” for being sole executor. He made a loss as her estate was a fair distance away and needed multiple visits to settle it!

10 years age my DGM (dads mum) left her £1M+ estate to her solicitors children rather than her 3 sons/8 grandchildren and left instructions that she be buried in a “paupers grave with no headstone” just to prove how unloved she was 🙄. We buried her properly (because, fuck her getting her own way on that!) but left the money where she sent it. That side of the family had a bitter narcissist streak wider than the English Channel and both women knew damn well what they were doing.

Let it go OP and be at peace ✌️ 😄

A relative left me a slightly smaller amount than the amount you've been left, and in the same will left £300k to charity. I have always been blown away by their generosity and delighted that they were able to leave so much to causes that were important to them (and will have made a difference to a great number of people), it was a fantastic achievement on their part and I hope it brought them joy when they realised they were going to be able to leave such a sum.
In the 15 years since the will was executed it's never struck me that their will should have been different! I have tried to use my inheritance in a way that honours them, and in turn that's brought me both security and happiness.

If your DH’s attitude is anything like yours, his aunt made a very good decision.

I’m already finding this with various young adult relatives suddenly showing an interest in me after years of barely knowing who I am. I don’t have a partner or children and am in a senior role so they think I’m wealthy. Or rather their parents do, who are the ones behind this sudden interest as I turned 50 last year. The truth is that I, like most people, struggle ans have few savings. I’ve been on my own for years and even as a moderately high earned it’s fucking hard, especially as I’m supporting my elderly father who gets nothing but his pension. If any of my relatives deigned to talk to me they’d know that there isn’t anything other than my modest house - which I’m leaving to my ex husbands nieces who I have managed to retain a close and wonderful relationship with despite the divorce. My family. Nah. Just because I have no children,doesn’t mean you’re the default inheritors.

Ungortunately you've mentally spent money before you had it. I'm in an aunts will for a big inheritance but she changes her mind alot and I also know it may be eaten up in care costs one day or she may choose to spent her money, brilliant. Not counting it in any of our financial planning as inheritance is such a tenuous thing.

I think it’s completely fair enough to be miffed OP.

I’m guessing that Auntie probably inherited money herself. Whether she did or not, she could have left the bulk to relatives and a cash legacy to charities not the other way round. That’s my opinion.