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Original poster

Help me feel ok about this will

387 replies

TerryWogansWig · 28/06/2025 18:08

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/06/2025 18:18

Hmmmm....is it possible that the will was written a long time ago and the specific amounts to beneficiaries would have been bigger at the time than the amount from the rest of the estate going to charity?

PlasticAcrobat · 28/06/2025 18:18

What was the grounds on which you had expected the four-way split? Had she actually said this was her intention? If not, then you are being v unreasonable. I wouldn't have any expectations at all about an aunt's estate. Hopes. maybe, depending on my circs, but nothing more.

MangaMoo · 28/06/2025 18:17

Yep I agree with pp - her money and her choice. You should respect her wishes, and how generous that charities will benefit. She obviously wanted that and it was her choice. Also unsure why you are so bothered when this is your husband’s family and not even yours, and also not a first degree relative ?

Redshoeblueshoe · 28/06/2025 18:17

Only £50k just wow

CopperWhite · 28/06/2025 18:16

You get past it by giving yourself a shake and recognising how rude and presumptuous it was for you to have an expectation of inheritance from your husbands aunt in the first place.

Monster6 · 28/06/2025 18:16

Totally understand your disappointment OP, but we all know that it’s not a given! Anyone can leave their money to anyone or any organisation they so wish to. What a generous person she must have been, and these legacys would have given her comfort. Think what you can do with £50k. For us it’s genuinely be life changing. Glass half full IP! You’re here to enjoy the generous meaningful gift of £50k!!!

Mikart · 28/06/2025 18:16

My God. Words fail me

TheaBrandt1 · 28/06/2025 18:15

Was your Dh in her life in any meaningful way? Did he go over for coffee and a chat? Visit a few times a year? Actually had a relationship with her?

juneny · 28/06/2025 18:15

get over yourself, that'll help you get over it

ninjahamster · 28/06/2025 18:14

50k is a LOT of money! Why do you think family are more entitled than charity? It was her money to do what she chose with.

DoYouReally · 28/06/2025 18:13

No one is entitled to inheritance.

She isn't even your relative.

I would be disgusted if I left £50k to someone and they complained it wasn't enough.

CatherinedeBourgh · 28/06/2025 18:12

You are getting 50k from an aunt and you are complaining? Other than from a parent, I would never expect to get anything from any relative.