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AIBU?

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Original poster

Help me feel ok about this will

387 replies

TerryWogansWig · 28/06/2025 18:08

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

OP posts:
reinforcementz · 28/06/2025 18:30

Jesus fucking Christ what is wrong with people

Longhotsummers · 28/06/2025 18:30

Why were you expecting it - had she told you what she was leaving your DH or was it a rather entitled assumption on your part? Reframe it, she could have given it ALL away to charity and I think if she knew your views beforehand, she may well have. She’s left you an incredibly generous legacy.

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 18:29

What did you and your DH do for his aunt while she was alive?

itsgettingweird · 28/06/2025 18:29

I wouldn’t expect an aunt to leave anything. But then all mine have children and/ or spouses too.

I think if you have such a large amount you can leave to charity it’s fantastic.

im assuming that actually your DH and his sister will also receive a 50% split of their mums share? (Disclaimer - I’ve no idea how wills work!)

CatherinedeBourgh · 28/06/2025 18:29

Catsandcannedbeans · 28/06/2025 18:25

My dad has done pretty well for himself these last few years, and has made it crystal clear he won’t be leaving us anything. He’s going to spend it and give the rest to charity and then (in his words) “yous can scrap over my watch”. I know he’s being deadly serious as well. Do I love that? Not really, I would like some of his money… but it’s his money. That he made. I have no say over what he does with it. I appreciate that he’s transparent with us though and I will win the scrap so I can sell the watch and get myself something nice.

I get that you’re miffed, but you’ve got £50k you didn’t have before.

But that's your dad! This is an aunt of the OP's husband. There's a difference!

Xyloplane · 28/06/2025 18:28

So she’s not even your aunt and you’re annoyed? Maybe she had an inkling that you were expecting a payout and decided not to give into your feelings of entitlement?

Monster6 · 28/06/2025 18:28

Usernumber12356 · 28/06/2025 18:26

Wow you're setting yourself up for a roasting here op. £50,000? You're so lucky. Appreciate every penny.

This OP. Honestly I’d love £50k, as I said it’d change our lives and kids lives. It woujd be the difference between uni, and just getting a job. Please see how lucky you are. Said with kindness.

Loubylie · 28/06/2025 18:27

Nobody inherits from an aunt. Most childless people without a partner leave their money to charity. I know I would.

Usernumber12356 · 28/06/2025 18:26

Wow you're setting yourself up for a roasting here op. £50,000? You're so lucky. Appreciate every penny.

Catsandcannedbeans · 28/06/2025 18:25

My dad has done pretty well for himself these last few years, and has made it crystal clear he won’t be leaving us anything. He’s going to spend it and give the rest to charity and then (in his words) “yous can scrap over my watch”. I know he’s being deadly serious as well. Do I love that? Not really, I would like some of his money… but it’s his money. That he made. I have no say over what he does with it. I appreciate that he’s transparent with us though and I will win the scrap so I can sell the watch and get myself something nice.

I get that you’re miffed, but you’ve got £50k you didn’t have before.

TheMagicDeckchair · 28/06/2025 18:25

We need more context here- if DH and you were very involved in her life and assisted her a lot, and you’d been led to believe that you were expecting a more substantial sum, then I can understand your disappointment. But even so, the money could have been swallowed up by care homes fees, or she could have “lost” it some other way so you can’t bank in an inheritance.

If you weren’t close and you expected it on the grounds of being a blood relation then YABU and you should be grateful for the sum you’ll receive.

Wishimaywishimight · 28/06/2025 18:24

You need "help" to "get past" ONLY getting £50k? Try being appreciative perhaps?

Highsmithery · 28/06/2025 18:23

50k from an aunt is very nice.

My friend’s mum left her house to to the Catholic Church. It sold for 800k. My friend, an only, got the savings which was a princely £20k. 😂

AcquadiP · 28/06/2025 18:22

You want help getting past only being gifted £50,000?

OK.

AlohaRose · 28/06/2025 18:21

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.
Every will is absolutely not contentious! And this one certainly shouldn't be.

Why on earth would you expect that you were going to receive a large inheritance from this aunt?

HiRen · 28/06/2025 18:21

Well, here’s your lesson that what other people do with their money is none of your business.

CopperWhite · 28/06/2025 18:21

Did the charities give her more support than her remaining family in her later years?

Username73492 · 28/06/2025 18:21

From Google: The Beatles song "Can't Buy Me Love" expresses the idea that while money can provide material possessions, it cannot buy true happiness or love.
I sense and appreciate your sense of unfairness. Charities are well versed in gaining from such a will. Be kind to yourself by letting it go.

leopardprint17 · 28/06/2025 18:20

Mikart · 28/06/2025 18:16

My God. Words fail me

Exactly that!

outerspacepotato · 28/06/2025 18:20

You counted your chickens before the eggs hatched.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 28/06/2025 18:20

The money is going to charity, how could you possibly feel bad about that? Especially when your DH is still inheriting £50k, plus presumably half of his late mother’s share. You sound incredibly money-orientated and grabby. What were the charities? Presumably they will be able to do a lot more good with £200k each than you would have done with it.

DiscoPig · 28/06/2025 18:19

What is there to 'get past'? Someone didn't leave your DH as much money in her will as you'd expected? Was there a specific reason you'd expected a quarter of a million?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/06/2025 18:19

Greedy.

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 28/06/2025 18:18

Entitled. Grasping. Greedy. Ungrateful.

DiscoBob · 28/06/2025 18:18

You feel it's just not right do you?!
You're lucky to get a red cent!

How ungrateful. I'd be delighted if a family member other than my parents chose to give me anything. You're not owed other people's money just because they passed on and don't have many relatives.

Honestly I cannot believe the money grabbing audacity of so many people.