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Original poster

Help me feel ok about this will

387 replies

TerryWogansWig · 28/06/2025 18:08

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

OP posts:
rwalker · 28/06/2025 18:45

She’s done you a favour
my friends nan nominated fixed amount for charities and rest to be divided by grandchildren
she’d been in a care home so that cost had to be recouped the specified amounts for charities/church got 45k between them the grandchildren got £284 each that was all there was left

2024onwardsandup · 28/06/2025 18:44

I am very hot in fairness in wills - but in this case it’s not even your aunt!!!!

Allseeingallknowing · 28/06/2025 18:44

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/06/2025 18:18

Hmmmm....is it possible that the will was written a long time ago and the specific amounts to beneficiaries would have been bigger at the time than the amount from the rest of the estate going to charity?

What do you mean? Even if it were written a long time ago the amounts wouldn’t have changed, uses she changed her will.

MyOliveCritic · 28/06/2025 18:43

Your sense of entitlement is staggering.

SkibidiSigma · 28/06/2025 18:43

Jesus Christ. This has to be a wind up

ResidentPorker · 28/06/2025 18:42

My own dad died without leaving enough to pay for his own funeral, let alone giving tens of thousands to relatives. Fuck me. Have a word with yourself.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 28/06/2025 18:41

I mean, it's up to the lady surely. Perhaps you and DH didn't spend time with her or put yourself out for her which is why she left it to the charities? Either way, it's done now so ... And just a thought, won't your DH be getting his Mum's share or at least a part of it?

pinkdelight · 28/06/2025 18:40

Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family?

So if she'd specified 200k for each of the 4 charities with the rest split between you 4, and you'd got 50k that way, would that have been better? No, because you aren't objecting to the way she specified things, but to the charities getting more. Even though that's clearly her desire and she's only an aunt so anything is a bonus, there's no reason to expect a big windfall from her. 50k is amazing, be grateful. The charities will no doubt put it to very good use, as she wished.

Tiredandtiredagain · 28/06/2025 18:39

Let me get this straight….

You’re upset at getting £50k? Have I read that right?

Marble10 · 28/06/2025 18:38

Lol

Highsmithery · 28/06/2025 18:38

harriethoyle · 28/06/2025 18:35

Yeah but no suggestion she or DH were actually told that by the aunt @Highsmithery - so whatever narrative OP made up in her head was her problem…

Show quote history

I doubt she made it up. Something must’ve been said along the way to make them think they would be inheriting a significant amount.

Xyloplane · 28/06/2025 18:38

Highsmithery · 28/06/2025 18:33

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a bit gutted. The OP was under the impression they’d be inheriting a large amount. It’s disingenuous of posters on here to say otherwise.

But it’s still nice to get 50k.

But why was she under the impression? It doesn’t sound like the aunt had ever said anything of the sort. I hate this idea of people circling around older family members like vultures. My wife and I will not be having children. That does not mean our money should go to the next generation of our family. A person has some responsibility over their own children, there should be no need expectation beyond that.

My father died intestate leaving behind three children and his sisters actually assumed they would be classed as his NOK!

Original poster
TerryWogansWig · 28/06/2025 18:37

This is helpful, we don’t want to be seen as vultures, and are of course extremely appreciative of the inheritance. Grief always alters one’s perspective. .

OP posts:
WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 28/06/2025 18:37

Highsmithery · 28/06/2025 18:33

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a bit gutted. The OP was under the impression they’d be inheriting a large amount. It’s disingenuous of posters on here to say otherwise.

But it’s still nice to get 50k.

Why was she under this impression though?

DiscoPig · 28/06/2025 18:37

Highsmithery · 28/06/2025 18:33

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a bit gutted. The OP was under the impression they’d be inheriting a large amount. It’s disingenuous of posters on here to say otherwise.

But it’s still nice to get 50k.

DH was told by his rich, widowed, childless uncle that he was the main beneficiary of his will -- he owned a couple of houses and an enormous amount of expensive collectable memorabilia, quite apart from any money he may have had. Fortunately, neither of us counted on this, because, unbeknownst to us, he'd told four or five other relatives the same thing, and apparently changed his will multiple times to the point where it was his main hobby when terminally ill. When the final will was read, everything had been left to his extremely rich brother.

Don't count on your will before it's read.

harriethoyle · 28/06/2025 18:35

Highsmithery · 28/06/2025 18:33

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a bit gutted. The OP was under the impression they’d be inheriting a large amount. It’s disingenuous of posters on here to say otherwise.

But it’s still nice to get 50k.

Yeah but no suggestion she or DH were actually told that by the aunt @Highsmithery - so whatever narrative OP made up in her head was her problem…

calamin · 28/06/2025 18:34

Good for her. Family were vultures and she knew it!

Soontobe60 · 28/06/2025 18:33

CatherinedeBourgh · 28/06/2025 18:12

You are getting 50k from an aunt and you are complaining? Other than from a parent, I would never expect to get anything from any relative.

She isn’t. Her husband is getting g £50k from HIS aunt!

BlackCatGreyWhiskers · 28/06/2025 18:33

Better than a kick in the teeth as my Dad would say. But I understand your disappointment.

HopelesslyWanderingStar · 28/06/2025 18:33

And what exactly did you personally do for this aunt? Were you close to her? Helped her out? Loved her? Why should you get anything?? Why did you expect it?

Highsmithery · 28/06/2025 18:33

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a bit gutted. The OP was under the impression they’d be inheriting a large amount. It’s disingenuous of posters on here to say otherwise.

But it’s still nice to get 50k.

GJD23000 · 28/06/2025 18:32

Yeah, in the nicest possible way, get over it!!

Unless your husband or his siblings helped or cared for her in anyway throughout the year then why should they get more? Even at that - no one is entitled to anyone else’s money/inheritance and that’s that!

harriethoyle · 28/06/2025 18:32

Anyone think that the Aunt recognised that OP and her husband were entitled, grasping little feckers and acted accordingly?! My brother and SIL are like you OP - total coffin chasers. Literally go round care homes toadying up to elderly relatives. I love it when the avaricious are disappointed. Bravo, late Aunt!

Viviennemary · 28/06/2025 18:32

So what happened to his late mothers share. Honestly, it was only an aunt. You should be grateful for your £50k. Talk about never happy.

BIossomtoes · 28/06/2025 18:30

Whinging about a £50k tax free windfall @TerryWogansWig? Catch yourself on.