Help me feel ok about this will

It isn’t really anyone’s business who the Aunt leaves the rest of money too.
Your only concern is how you use your money, and 50k is a good amount, focus on this only.
That’s how I see it.

you are being unreasonable. Get past it.

It's the title of the thread that really riled me. "Help ME feel ok about this will". FFS. How presumptuous.

50k is 50k more than I will ever get.

I think most wealthy people do this, don’t they? I read that a lot of celebs are doing the same with their actual children.

I can understand your disappointed if you had planned your life around it, but if you have done that it was very presumptuous.

That is a lot of money to be left by an Aunt and I think you should just be grateful your DH has received anything. She could have left every penny to charity, which a lot of single childless people do to stop people being fake nice to chase their inheritance.

I think £50k is a great sum of money for you and how lovey that charities are benefitting.

Uberaddict · Today 19:56

pollyglot · Today 19:38
It's not even your own aunt, FFS.

I am really close to my husband’s aunt - closer than him. We have an independent, separate relationship built on a shared interest. I would definitely more sad than him when she dies
Still 50k is tonnes

a) OP did not say that she was closer than her DH to auntie.

b) This is not about you

The OP was I believe related to the Aunt by marriage? It is her husband who inherits although obviously the OP will benefit. It was believed rightly or wrongly by the family that the estate was to be split 4 ways between family? I don’t think that was an unreasonable position to take. Yes I would be extremely unhappy or as you put it ‘gutted’ if a relative left money to a charity instead of family members. Several other posters feel the same and have said so. However as all my relatives are long dead it’s not a scenario I will find myself in.

You’ve taken the comments well OP. Fair play to you. I think I was a bit harsh before.

I am really close to my husband’s aunt - closer than him. We have an independent, separate relationship built on a shared interest. I would definitely more sad than him when she dies

Still 50k is tonnes

I think maybe looking into the charities and what they do with the money with give you some sense of perspective. My partners work is mostly funded by charities. He's had grants from tens of thousands to several hundred thousands and are making progress in the understanding of the diseases he works in.

My nan cut one of my uncles out of her will due to a family fall out. She decided to gift his share to a charity that has supported them both prior to the fall out. He obviously was displeased about being removed from the will but appreciated that instead it was donated to cause that meant something to him and my nan

You grabby, awful person! Nobody is entitled to anyone’s money! Full stop. £50k is exceptionally generous from an aunt!
I don’t have children. The majority of my money will be going to charity, not my niece.

You will get your husbands mothers share as well I imagine. If she left everything to her son and daughter . Is that how it works?

Her money - her business to distribute as she pleased.

be grateful for what you DID receive rather than be bitter about what you didn’t get.

You were ENTITLED to NOTHING - every penny you received was a blessing.

Be grateful for any gift you received - it is a gift not an entitlement…

I'm an Auntie, 2 nieces ..both now adults we were very close. I sent gifts for no occasion when they were late teens and never received an acknowledgement..I started to distance myself when cheery WhatsApps were ignored 'saw this thought of you type stuff". I had a disabling injury. I reevaluated my life. My house was left to them... now...I could easily leave it to a charity instead...they have chosen to be strangers. Maybe this was the same?

Omg!😳

Only child here. My father left me £3000, having drank the rest.

You don’t think charities should be able to give decent salaries/benefits in order to attract talent to work for them, who are able to run the charity effectively?

Wow. I'm pretty shocked by these responses. Of course the OP's DH is going to feel a bit saddened that a charity of faceless identities is going to benefit over a blood relative.

My cousin works for a national charity (very well known one) and I've stopped donating given the salary and perks she gets. She had nearly 2 years off sick on full pay, was paid through a degree course and they get "team building" events that always seem to be held in 5* luxury hotels as well as Christmas Ball's, fund raising events throughout the year. She has a wardrobe of black tie event clothing and drives an 80k car. All thanks to a charity.

You’re being unreasonable. You know this.

However if you were kind hoping (expecting?) £250k + 1/2 of MIL’s £250k then it’s ok to be disappointed. £375k is a life changing amount for most people, where as £50k whilst is generous and lovely etc etc isn’t. It’s pay debts off, have a nice holiday, put some away for a rainy day kinda money.

i know how you feel OP, my DM has told me she’s leaving all her money to my ds which is great, although it would have been nice to benefit from it, and pass my inheritance to him. But it is what it is.

I get your disappointment. I couldn’t do that in my will in good faith, I’d much rather the people closest to me got a life changing amount with an amount going to a charity of my choice.

I get it.

We help out our wider family regularly, but in our wills we have a clause that if (god forbid) our daughter predeceased or died with us, everything will go to the bursary fund at her absolutely amazing private school.

We have a separate education trust set up that will also benefit the school separately from anything we leave her, and an education trust for her descendants which if unused will pass to the bursary fund.

Nothing for any other family members in our will, which I think would surprise them given how close we are. But it’s the way we have chosen to do things, we feel very strongly about the opportunities the bursary fund gives to academically able but financially less fortunate children. It’s a tremendous charity fund (as well as school fees they do Christmas parcels, holiday food parcels, all sorts) and we passionately believe in supporting it.

Stopping feeling entitled to and expecting other people's money will help you.

Seriously.

What is there to get past? 50k inheritance from your husbands Aunt is nothing to be upset about. I doubt I will inherit 50k from anyone. Your post reeks of entitlement.

So you’d be gutted if you didn’t inherit money you hadn’t been promised, from someone who isn’t even related to you?

Unfortunately you came to the last place you should expect a bit of sympathy OP.

Not unreasonable at all, but such is life.
If it was indeed intimated to be a 4 way split, I think what she has done isn't actually nice at all.