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Grossed out by new partner walking in when I was showering

307 replies

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 17:09

I have a fairly new partner, my first after my 10 year marriage ended. I stayed at his for the first time last night and went to have a shower this morning (no lock on the door). A few minutes in my partner walked in and used the loo!! He was sat there trying to talk to me and I didn’t know where to look. When I said afterwards I didn’t expect that he said it shows how comfortable he is around me and that his past relationships have always been like that so it’s just normal these days.

I can tell you in my entire marriage my ex never walked in on me to use the loo and vice versa! I found him sitting there and ‘dropping off’ a right turn off to be honest!

OP posts:
Vaxtable · 28/06/2025 17:48

Triple yuk, puts me right off

Deadcog · 28/06/2025 17:48

How long have you been going out? He's your partner but this is the first time you've stopped over?

carmak · 28/06/2025 17:47

ACynicalDad · 28/06/2025 17:42

We'd pee with the other in the shower, but I'd be castrated if I tried a dump with my wife in the room.

That wouldn't solve the problem though.

Milkbottlewaffle · 28/06/2025 17:46

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 17:34

His house has a downstairs loo so it wasn’t that

If there was another toilet available then this just shows exactly how he thinks about you.

Throw this one back!

HouseholdBudget · 28/06/2025 17:46

No. That would be me done, especially with no conversation about acceptability first.

Other than my own kids pre-toilet training, no one has ever shat in front of me. It may be a natural bodily function etc, but no one needs to witness it.

Revolting.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 28/06/2025 17:45

Disgusting 🫣
He is weird.

MyQuirkyTraybake · 28/06/2025 17:45

SchnizelVonKrumm · 28/06/2025 17:17

he said it shows how comfortable he is around me and that his past relationships have always been like that so it’s just normal these days.

Massive red flag. He's testing your boundaries.

Worse, he just doesn't care if she likes it or not. Hence why he didn't even ask.

BMW6 · 28/06/2025 17:45

NO

NO

NO

carmak · 28/06/2025 17:44

When I go into the bathroom for whatever reason, I lock the door.

As a child I would get slapped legs if I wasn't sitting 'properly'.......

Olivesforteatonighty · 28/06/2025 17:44

Some things are best kept private.

Ohtobemycat · 28/06/2025 17:44

Wee is fine.
Poo is hell no.
Yuk.

Flamingoknees · 28/06/2025 17:43

Wee yes
Poo no
Especially in a new relationship.
If I was staying for first time, like you, I'd expect a knock and "is it alright to come in" before he even came in to get something.
My partner and I have managed to let each other shower, without doing a poo, for 36 years.
I'd rather not watch him wipe his arse either - and I've wiped hundreds of bums.

RealEagle · 28/06/2025 17:43

Been together 41 years ,we are very comfortable with each other.But shitting in front of each other no that’s gross.A wee no problem .

ACynicalDad · 28/06/2025 17:42

We'd pee with the other in the shower, but I'd be castrated if I tried a dump with my wife in the room.

WhatdoesitmeanKeith · 28/06/2025 17:42

Ilovemyshed · 28/06/2025 17:11

Crikey, its just a bodily function. If you have sex then seeing him on the loo isn’t weird.

What the fuck?!

thepariscrimefiles · 28/06/2025 17:41

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 17:34

His house has a downstairs loo so it wasn’t that

That makes it even worse. He had a choice of toilet and chose to do it in front of you. Please dump(!) him.

Berryslacks · 28/06/2025 17:41

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 17:34

His house has a downstairs loo so it wasn’t that

God that makes it even worse. Revolting. Though I am enjoying the responses on this thread especially about the cat having more decorum. I wish we still had the 😂.

SALaw · 28/06/2025 17:41

Nope, bye bye, he needs to find someone that hasn’t seen him wipe his arse 🤢

Reliablesource · 28/06/2025 17:41

That’s a big brown flag. Run for the hills.

petuniaprincess · 28/06/2025 17:41

Chamomileteaplease · 28/06/2025 17:10

Do you mean he did a poo??????

that is gross!

Yuck ! That's horrible ! 😮

MascaraGirl · 28/06/2025 17:41

Notyomama · 28/06/2025 17:12

Yuck. I've been married about 400 years and never once has my husband come in to have a shit while I was showering. I could just about tolerate peeing if he was desperate, but not as a regular thing.

Same here!

LadyLolaRuben · 28/06/2025 17:39

Showering whilst he's defecating, is unhygienic. Its so personal especially in early stages of a relationship. Its not respectful. You can't leave the bathroom feeling fresh after a shower with a lingering odour. Heaven knows what he'll be doing in a few months time. And he has a downstairs loo. Maybe he was scent marking. Throw him back

Porterpart · 28/06/2025 17:39

Bad manners!!!

MyDeftDuck · 28/06/2025 17:39

🥺🤬🤢👋

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 28/06/2025 17:38

BeMintFatball · 28/06/2025 17:36

He had a separate not occupied loo
and he still chose to have a shit in front of you?! WTF 🚩

Yes actually that IS really fucking odd

I don’t know about this one OP. You’d hope he just needs a lesson in consideration.. but it is weird.