Grossed out by new partner walking in when I was showering

No it isn't at all usual OP but you probably know that already. Maybe your friends who consider it normal have been married for some time. But this is a new relationship and you really wouldn't expect him to do that in the early flush of romance! I was married for 26 years and my DH never once pooed in front of me. I think once or twice he came in for a wee out of desperation, but that was it. Interesting that he says his ex partners didn't mind - I think the clue lies in the word ex.

So it was a deliberate push of your boundaries as he had another choice

He sounds grim as fuck

Yes this gross

Wee, fine (we got there fairly early in the relationship). Poo? No, never.

One time DH was in the bath and that house only had the one loo, in the bathroom. I was absolutely desperate for a poo. I asked him to get out of the bath while I did it (really couldn’t wait) and then he got back in later.

Now, if one of us was ill or became incontinent and needed help, that would be different. In sickness and in health. But when you can hold it, or have other toilets to use? Just no.

That's absolutely off putting, especially when it's a new partner. A guy I once dated used to burp and fart and talk about his frequent diarrhea...that was bad enough and I got the ick very quickly. Seeing a new partner on the toilet would turn me right off too.

Wee is fine, poo is better being private. And that’s in a relationship of many years. The fact he’s doing that on your first visit to his house is a massive deal-breaking ick! What a weirdo.

me and my partner have pooed in front of each other for pretty much the whole of our relationship, we also share baths and showers. When I have a bath and his having a poo it’s a chance to actually have a conversation between work,housework,children etc.
I think it depends on person to person.
if I were to start a new relationship I don’t know if I’d be comfortable enough to be this way and probably wouldn’t but I met DP very young so that’s probably why it wasn’t a big deal for us

That’s fucking gross. I’m nearly 60 and no man has ever taken a shit while in showering in same bathroom

I agree he’s testing your boundaries. I think it would be a deal breaker for me - 🤮

Hi
Total disrespect for you and your privacy -
never mind his! This would be end of the road for me.

My husband and I shared a single bathroom flat for 10 years. So we didn’t have much choice but to do this considering I have IBSz

I think it’s inconsiderate and rude- why shower in the humid smell of someone’s poo?

i think most people don’t do this- to assume you will, without discussions suggesting your tolerance for personal space is insane on his part.

id tell him it’s not ok and if he mocks you or does it again, I would honestly end it. Coz he acts like his needs are more important than yours. And doesn’t respect your wishes! Or just see him casually with lockable doors!

Yuk ☹️

@HelenaJl YANBU OP. A quick wee I could live with, but a poo - absolutely not - particularly when he had the option to use the downstairs loo so why would he even do that? Ugh! Even if he didn't have a second loo, he could have still asked you to hurry in the shower (you could have dried yourself in the bedroom) so he could get in there quickly and do his business in private! 🙄

This is grim. I too would be turned off and given major ICK if a new boyfriend did this. I'd not blame you in the slightest for dumping him now. If there's no lock, this will just be the start....

Agreed!!

Read your post thinking my OH and I would do this without thinking… then I realised you meant a poo! Absolutely no way. There’s a line

😂😂😂

I know of a few couples that are happy to do this. It doesn't make it ok though and for me it's an absolute no, I'd actually go as far as to say if you do this you are too comfortable with one another as I'd struggle to want to have sex with someone I'd seen shit.

This. The guy is obviously utterly obtuse and/or selfish and should be dumped immediately (geddit?) but I don’t know any other bloke who’d behave like this.

Boak

No that’s gross. Why would you inflict the smell on someone who was having a nice shower apart from anything else? Why wouldn’t he even just ask if it was ok first? He’s basically marking his territory. Get ready for more overstepping.

The fact he said "past relationships" is maybe they were not as comfortable as he thought, also, he is telling you he will do it whether you like it or not, hmmm! Some things are best kept private. I'm not a prude by any means, but having a crap in front of a new partner/any partner is ick inducing, good luck lovely xx

And there was a downstairs loo he could have used! Utterly vile.
And if op objects she will probably be accused of being uptight etc. And then he will magically need a poo every time she gets into a nice bath, etc etc
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

^ this. 🤢

Absolutely no respect for you at all: I wouldn’t want to see him again

Well he maybe enjoyed it. Some folk have kinks with poo I've heard. Run for the hills op.