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Original poster

Grossed out by new partner walking in when I was showering

307 replies

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 17:09

I have a fairly new partner, my first after my 10 year marriage ended. I stayed at his for the first time last night and went to have a shower this morning (no lock on the door). A few minutes in my partner walked in and used the loo!! He was sat there trying to talk to me and I didn’t know where to look. When I said afterwards I didn’t expect that he said it shows how comfortable he is around me and that his past relationships have always been like that so it’s just normal these days.

I can tell you in my entire marriage my ex never walked in on me to use the loo and vice versa! I found him sitting there and ‘dropping off’ a right turn off to be honest!

OP posts:
89redballoons · 28/06/2025 18:16

Ew. Even when my DH and I had food poisoning at the same time in a holiday apartment with one toilet, we still tried not to poo in front of each other. DH has seen me poo when I was in labour (which I don't care about, much more important things going on at that point) but that's it. We've been together for 16 years and married 6 of them.

Horses for courses, I know this isn't a big deal for some couples, but it is for others and it's noone should assume at the start of a relationship that it's fine to shit in front of the other person.

Turkeylurkie · 28/06/2025 18:15

I've been married 30 years ,that would be grounds for divorce
That is absolutely utterly vile

WinterNightStars · 28/06/2025 18:11

well I’ve been married 30+ years & either of us would nip in for a wee if necessary but def not a shit. I’m not squeamish about bodily functions & he’s wiped my arse when I’ve been in hosp but I wouldn’t pop in for a poo if he’s showering unless I was desperate & about to shit myself. Glad we have a separate loo to bathroom since moving so it wouldn’t be necessary!

ACynicalDad · 28/06/2025 18:11

carmak · 28/06/2025 17:47

That wouldn't solve the problem though.

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It would make me think twice about doing it again.

CommonAsMucklowe · 28/06/2025 18:11

Wee acceptable, poo is not.

SteakBakesAndHotTakes · 28/06/2025 18:11

Wtf that's really not normal. I wouldn't get past that

tweetypi · 28/06/2025 18:10

Ew. My DH sometimes wees when I’m in the shower which is very annoying but a poo is just gross 🤢

SchnizelVonKrumm · 28/06/2025 18:10

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 18:03

Thanks for the reassurance that it was odd! I don’t think he was boundary pushing, because he was just so blasé about the whole thing!

Being blasé about it is what makes me think it is boundary pushing, ie it's (apparently) so normal and natural that you will seem uptight, prudish etc to expect some privacy in the shower

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/06/2025 18:09

Nooo nonono...

I come from a long line of 'door open, chatty toilet users' - happy to wee in front of anyone really, happy to poo in front of close family/DP...

BUT.. if someone is in the shower, no one else poos in there. Thats just disgusting AND fucking rude as the person in the shower cannot escape the stench and suffers the after effects of flushing (shower goes dribbly and hot!).

NorthernTwang · 28/06/2025 18:09

Nope. Dh and I have been together 20 years and we’ve never taken a dump in front of each other.

A little bit of mystery is not a bad thing! ✨

Catsandcannedbeans · 28/06/2025 18:09

If you only have one bathroom and he was desperate maybe I can see that being okay?? Like if he was on the verge of shitting himself?? But it’s still gross.

My shower comes under “me time” in my book and my DH does not disturb it on pain of death. Very early on in our relationship he would ask if he could “hop in” but he stopped that pretty quickly.

We have seen one another shit but that’s because we both got a horrific stomach bug when we first moved in together and we only had one bathroom… baptism by fire.

westartfires · 28/06/2025 18:07

Rank. He has no boundaries. I feel like this is really disrespectful to you OP.

DiscoBob · 28/06/2025 18:06

TinyTempest · 28/06/2025 17:32

Hopefully he doesn't curl out a shit during sex?

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Quite. Fucking and watching/hearing/smelling someone defecate shouldn't really be classed in the same category in my opinion!

Original poster
HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 18:03

Thanks for the reassurance that it was odd! I don’t think he was boundary pushing, because he was just so blasé about the whole thing!

OP posts:
Pallisers · 28/06/2025 18:02

That would be it for me. I'd dump him.

Zucker · 28/06/2025 18:02

Why should it matter that his past relationships were all like that!

It shows how he views relationships, just another in a line of women who all act and think alike. He shits in front of women no matter their preference because that's what he does regardless. Gross.

ginasevern · 28/06/2025 18:00

PluckyChancer · 28/06/2025 17:57

Wouldn’t bother me but DH is more prissy about these things. 🤣

OK, but would you expect it on the very first night you spent with a new boyfriend?

TwistedWonder · 28/06/2025 17:59

Ilovemyshed · 28/06/2025 17:11

Crikey, its just a bodily function. If you have sex then seeing him on the loo isn’t weird.

Sharing a mutually pleasurable experience really isn’t compatible to someone taking a stinky shit while you’re in the shower -

Lavatime · 28/06/2025 17:59

If someone came in the bathroom and did a poo whilst I was in the shower I think I'd have an actual heart attack what the fuck

user1476613140 · 28/06/2025 17:58

Doing 💩 are disgusting. "Dump" him immediately.

Sorry.

theoriginalpinkpowerranger · 28/06/2025 17:57

He’s gonna want all sorts of kinky shit, mark my words.

neverbeenskiing · 28/06/2025 17:57

It's a "fairly new" relationship, so new that this is the first time you've stayed over...that means this is him on his best behavior, OP!!

I can sort of understand some married couples who have been together for decades pooing in front of each other (although DH and I don't do it) but this is supposed to be the honeymoon period, he should still be trying to impress you. That stuff about how great it is that he feels comfortable enough to shit in front of you at this early stage is just odd, does he think he's paying you a compliment??

PluckyChancer · 28/06/2025 17:57

Wouldn’t bother me but DH is more prissy about these things. 🤣

Runmybathforme · 28/06/2025 17:56

Ilovemyshed · 28/06/2025 17:11

Crikey, its just a bodily function. If you have sex then seeing him on the loo isn’t weird.

Really ? There’s a huge difference between having sex and seeing someone do a poo.

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 28/06/2025 17:56

Just him walking in without asking when you were showering is wrong but then dropping the kids off at the pool? No no no.

We've been married since 300BC and that wouldn't happen here.