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Original poster

Grossed out by new partner walking in when I was showering

307 replies

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 17:09

I have a fairly new partner, my first after my 10 year marriage ended. I stayed at his for the first time last night and went to have a shower this morning (no lock on the door). A few minutes in my partner walked in and used the loo!! He was sat there trying to talk to me and I didn’t know where to look. When I said afterwards I didn’t expect that he said it shows how comfortable he is around me and that his past relationships have always been like that so it’s just normal these days.

I can tell you in my entire marriage my ex never walked in on me to use the loo and vice versa! I found him sitting there and ‘dropping off’ a right turn off to be honest!

OP posts:
Midlifecrisis765 · 28/06/2025 18:51

Wee yes….no to the poop.💩

rwalker · 28/06/2025 18:50

Some people just really really don’t care and he’s obviously one of them and your not
no drama just tell him not to do it again

alsohappenedoverhere · 28/06/2025 18:49

Christ we are pretty open but that is rank.

IButtleSir · 28/06/2025 18:47

My wife and are disgusting and have been together for 9 years, and we've still never pooed in front of each other. That is incredibly vile.

Kimchiii · 28/06/2025 18:46

BeverleyCleverley · 28/06/2025 18:36

I find it weird. But we have enough bathrooms not to need to do this. I guess in very small houses there's no other real option?

There is. You just wait.

I live in a flat with two bathrooms but in my 20s I used to live in flatshares with one bathroom and realistically most adults people can wait unless they have an ongoing medical issue or stomach bug.

Given that Op didn’t mention that I assume there’s none present here.

thestudio · 28/06/2025 18:44

I think there's still that thing that has existed since the 60s that all embarrassment about anything to do with the body is gauche and bourgeois.

People, 'let it all hang out' didn't mean turds out of arses.

RabbitsRock · 28/06/2025 18:43

DH & I are super comfortable with each other after 20+ years of marriage but no way to pooing!

Belladog1 · 28/06/2025 18:42

Just no.

My partner and I pee in front of each other, but we have both said poo'ing is a no no. Let's leave a little mystery in the relationship.

I have piles at the moment and he wanted to look. I was like ..... God no. Bums are outta bounds!!!

Kimchiii · 28/06/2025 18:42

user1476613140 · 28/06/2025 18:38

Is there? Both are intimate moments in different ways....

Show quote history

In different ways

Exactly.

There’s no comparison.

And it’s not as if (most) People watch their partner have sex with someone else, they’re apart of and presumably enjoying the experience.

Very different from watching him shit and possibly smelling it afterwards.

MarySueSaidBoo · 28/06/2025 18:40

Honestly, I'd have got out that shower and ran as fast as my legs would carry me. If he had another toilet available there is NO reason at all for him to have done that. I think he was pushing a boundary only I'd hate to know what one.... and I wouldn't hang round to find out.

TheCurious0range · 28/06/2025 18:40

DH and I will walk into the bathroom when the other is bathing or showering to get something we need or an emergency wee, but if DH went to sit down for a poo I'd give him short shift.

AltitudeCheck · 28/06/2025 18:39

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 17:34

His house has a downstairs loo so it wasn’t that

Show quote history

This is what makes it really, really strange behaviour. He had a choice of places to go and yet he chose to poo in front of you/ intrude on your shower?!?! That's just fucking weird!!

user1476613140 · 28/06/2025 18:38

Runmybathforme · 28/06/2025 17:56

Really ? There’s a huge difference between having sex and seeing someone do a poo.

Show quote history

Is there? Both are intimate moments in different ways....

jaggededger · 28/06/2025 18:37

Jesus that’s grim. If my DH of 30+ years walked in and took a dump while I was in the shower it would be game over.

Thingyfanding · 28/06/2025 18:36

YesButNoButMayybee · 28/06/2025 17:19

We're a very free, open, intimate couple and we still have never had a poo in front of each other! There's just no need.

I'd be really pissed off if a man decided that since he was comfortable enough going to the toilet in my presence that it automatically follows that I'd be okay with having to endure his bodily functions and their smells. No thanks!

This is how I feel too. I’ve told my partner to shut the door etc but he still doesn’t. He peed in front of me on our first night together (sitting down) which I didn’t like. It’s not enough to dump him as I like so many other things about him but I really don’t like it.

Iwillclasptheeagain · 28/06/2025 18:36

My husband has never seen me on the toilet or vice versa.

That's foul.

BeverleyCleverley · 28/06/2025 18:36

I find it weird. But we have enough bathrooms not to need to do this. I guess in very small houses there's no other real option?

Kimchiii · 28/06/2025 18:35

HelenaJl · 28/06/2025 18:03

Thanks for the reassurance that it was odd! I don’t think he was boundary pushing, because he was just so blasé about the whole thing!

Often that's how they do it though. The normal answer would have been to say “oh sorry I didn’t think anything of it but if you feel weird about it I won’t do it again.” Why is he bringing up previous relationships to justify it? You’re not his exes!

And re. Your friends replies - while I wouldn’t like it at all and wouldn’t allow it even if I was married, I can see how someone’s husband /long term partner doing that isn’t the same as a man you don’t live with and have only recently started dating shitting in front of you.

This is meant to be the honeymoon stage he’s supposed to be trying to woo and impress you lol if he’s like this already imagine how he’s going to be like as time goes on! This man is far too comfortable with you - ew!

Higglepigglewiggle · 28/06/2025 18:35

That is gross. I even struggle when my DH has a poo in the en-suite when I’m in the bedroom.

It’s not normal in any way.

Panicatthegarden · 28/06/2025 18:35

I would not see this disgusting man ever again.

Longhotsummers · 28/06/2025 18:34

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/06/2025 17:23

Even the bloody cat has more decorum than that here.

It means you'll never be able to have a relaxing bath alone, as he'll be insisting upon the door being unlocked and coming in.

This!

Get rid - no one needs that in their life.

Pebbles16 · 28/06/2025 18:34

30+ years in and I have Ulcerative colitis. NEVER have I ever pooed in the same room as him, nor him with me.
(I also have faecal incontinence but that is very much on the down low of information I am willing to share).
Also have been "bagged", I hate it and would hate sharing more than "keep out of the bathroom"!!!

mintydoggyv · 28/06/2025 18:33

So sorry not nice at all after many years of marriage this has never happened . One does draw the line somewhere, one should have some privacy.

annzen · 28/06/2025 18:32

The opening gambit in his poo fetish I reckon. Testing you first, then will move on to........

Mix some laxative with his food and run. He'll have the runs then with no audience.

whynotwhatknot · 28/06/2025 18:32

if it wasnt a pushing boundary thing why didnt he use the other toilet