Higher earner’s contribution to house/kids/mental load

Salary level is completely irrelevant. Working hours do make a difference if there's a significant difference (I mean not 30 v 40hrs but 15 v 40 or 30 v 60).

It should never be all on one person though. It's breeds a sort of domestic laziness which at my age (late 50s) appears to then continue as a habit when hours reduce or retirement kicks in.

I do buy in the help I need- our cleaner. Our system works well.

I’d say that working all school hours, plus 90% of childcare/hw would not likely to be a fair split with a full time role (teachers are considered ft as they should be on account of all the extra work) plus 10% of childcare/hw.
you don’t seem to have any time off op, whereas he gets all weekend if he’s only doing 10%?

Equal. Leisure. Time.

So say you do 6 hours per day and take away half an hour for lunch, you’re still working 27.5 hours per week. If your husband is FT, then that’s only another 10 hours more but you’re doing 90% of the work. I can see why you would want more of a balance. What does your husband currently do in terms of household chores/childcare?

Why don’t you buy in all the help you need with a fts plus 20xfts?

I WFH 3 days a week during school hours he WFH 40 hours FT. He earns x6.5 more than what I do. I do all school admin, probably about 50-60% house admin, I do 90% of the cleaning. I do the food shop and cook but I enjoy that so no hardship. He sorts all our shared car stuff, mortgage renewals and insurance stuff, I do utilities and vet trips/boosters. He also does 2 school drop offs a week but from September he'll do all drop offs and I'll do all pick ups. We split our A/l fairly to cover school holidays.

You are in a very precarious position given you’re not married. He could up and leave and all the assets and potential you have built up TOGETHER with your greater childcare/hw contribution, would be his.

It’s not about money in our house, it’s about hours.

you should end up with the same amount of leisure time. It’s hard to regulate, but that is the goal.

I would say that only working part time, it would be reasonable for you to do the majority of the household stuff.

Holidays we take three weeks off at the same time and we have a week to use or take as we like. We can both buy AL with our jobs so not a huge issue.

My husband earns just under 20 times what I do, very long and unpredictable hours with a lot of travel. I work full time but am almost always finished by about 6.30, no travel involved.

I run the house, all admin and finances, do everything for the kids, and am the default person for anything school related, laundry, meals etc. only a bit of cleaning as we have a cleaner twice a week. He does the garden, that’s all.

It’s obviously an odd split but there’s literally no way he could take more on at home so it works for us.

I'm the higher earner and I think wages is irrelevant, how many hours worked makes a little difference as if you're at home more there's more you can do, but doesn't mean the person working less does everything. When we're both in the house it's 50/50.

We're partners and we're working together to have the life we want with our family.

It’s not so much the salary as the job itself that’s relevant.

Husband earns far more than I do, but his job is actually less demanding than mine in terms of time etc.

He does at least 75% of the home/child stuff (not the spending time together child stuff but the practicalities - cooking, school kit, drop offs etc). He’s more than happy with it.

Equal split in household jobs and childcare- we respect each other’s work regardless of salary. Do you work full time? What spilt do you have?

How many hours do you each work in an average week?

Do you have equal amounts of time to yourself?