To think my monthly savings aren’t enough?

A) parents are required to bring up their children - thats what having children means.

B) why on earth would a council pressure a couple in their 60s to buy the property,

I think you’re being led a merry dance.

I would suggest your DH takes £400 of his monthly savings for a year and spends it on decent therapy to unpick why he's bankrolling his parents poor choices at his own family's expense

That puts a bit of a diff spin on it then… If he is effectively gifting the cash to his parents for a property, presumably for that to be inherited back to him (hopefully much) later on(?), then you (both) could consider it part of your (family’s) long term savings/pension.

in the other hand if the social rent is significantly more than a mortgage payment why would they bow to the council pressure? I don’t believe the council cannot force mandate a sale or remove them as tenants…

in which case you may still rejig your monthly finances and split of savings but consider it from the lens of what’s committed and necessary vs where you’ll need flexibility for your kids, home renovations, etc in future.

A second mortgage is a lot to pay and a big commitment if your own is still outstanding. I think you have to be part of the decision making, regardless of what obligation he feels, surely? Can you perhaps encourage a contribution to the deposit instead and set up PIL with some financial income instruments which will help their ongoing mortgage needs using their deposit? Worth being mindful of inheritance liabilities - lots on MSE around that.

Having £25,000 in saving and adding £350 a month, as well as savings for your DC, is great! Great at any age, even better at 29.

She is experiencing a heightened sense of loss of control

She could have 10 times that in savings and would feel the same

Your husband is NOT responsible for his parents' finances.

If they have got themselves in financial difficulty then they need to sort themselves, out, not bring him down too. They need to declare themselves bankrupt if they cannot pay their debts.

Your husband needs to say no and put his wife and kids first.

I think this is brilliant, OP, and just fine.

As another poster has said - the only thing I would suggest, even though you're young, is to get yourself a financial advisor. I didn't get one until my early 40s and I wish I'd done it sooner.

The link below will help you to find a qualified registered one locally.

https://www.unbiased.co.uk/

The standard advice is to have 6 months worth of living expenses saved up.

So whatever that is for you, thats what you should aim for.

Is there question this? A 29 year old with 25000 nest egg, putting away a combined family savings total of 1150 monthly of which 450 is ring fenced and protected from elderly in laws - is this enough?

Have you seriously come on here to ask this?

350 is fine, but id be a bit concerned about his parents. Even if he is the higher earner (presumption due to him working more hours), you're part time to look after his children so I would not be happy if a significant part of that money was going outside the family unit.

Absolutely no way should your husband be spending that money on his parents! That's totally insane. Why isn't he saving it for his children's future?

This shows a real lack of awareness of other people's situations OP

You are only 29, are paying out for childcare for twins PLUS saving £100 a month for them !!!! and you have a very healthy income coming in every month.

Even before mentioning the fact you have a £25 000 nest egg sitting there.

You are doing very, very well and am surprised you claim not to know that.

If you haven't already had the conversation with him about his parent's choices quite literally taking quality of life from his own children you need to

Do you, not him, YOU, know the full extent of the debt he is trying to service for them?

How long, how much? Any chance of repayment? Any other possible resolution - and no, their potential embarrassment is not a valid factor?

Is he even thinking or is he just reacting to their pressure?

It is one thing if you both decide to support them, working from a fully informed position. To be told this is how it is going to be is quite another!

You’re doing great OP!

I honestly think this is a recipe for resentment later down the line and surely they don’t want to see the grandkids go without because of their actions/inactions?

Of your combined £1000, something like £300 DP, £300 OP, £200 kids, £200 for DP parents seems more than generous.

why is he not prioritising his family? can DP agree to at least match what you’re contributing for your kids, or share equally with you? Why do you see your savings vs his savings? What state is your pension in given you’re PT?

why is their financial situation so poor and why is it exclusively DPs problem?

Of course it is ok. It is far more than most people can save

What are your savings for? Long term or for things like holiday/car? What about mortgage overpayments?

Why does your DH have to support his parents?

Why does he need to support his parents. They can claim benefits.

I’d love to be able to save £10 a month let alone £350!

It’s a perfectly good sum OP.

It depends on what your monthly healthy spending allowance is and whether some of that is being wasted? I do think £350 a month is alright and probably more than most can save.

How much are you current savings for your family (not DHs parents), and your children? Make sure you have a decent pot for you and DCs first.

How much do you have in total?

I’d speak to a financial advisor about investing to try to make your money grow faster.

also not a fan of children bailing out their parents when they have a family of their own.

If it's what you can afford while also have some sort of life then it's absolutely fine. Anything saved is better than nothing saved!