To not have internet at home?

This is a good idea. If necessary, ask him to put a passcode on it so you can’t access it or “hotspot” from it.

sounds like u working hard to manage your addiction OP and manage the repercussions for your child - good on yer !!
being open and honest with him about how u are managing it I guess will be helpful for him to work with u and your issues, as opposed to against, and be protective against him having issues too

My teens love Spotify and if you pay for the Peemium version then he’ll be able to listen to music offline. He might not be into music yet but Spotify is very popular with teens for music streaming.

Cross posted, that sounds like a good solution OP

I used a Huawei Mifi with a Three PAYG mobile broadband SIM for when our Internet was down for a while, and also take it with me when I travel. It’s reliable and very easy to use, and as long as you aren’t downloading films etc the SIM lasts for quite a long time. Obviously it’s not as good as WiFi, but a brilliant alternative in your position.

This is what I was going to say. There is a lot of admin for the parent which all happens by app and email at my kids school.

perhaps his dad can be on top of all this, but you will need to find a way to navigate it.

Just to add, addictive personalities can have a genetic basis, so it could be your son will battle with this at some point also. Protecting his childhood is very important until his brain is developed enough.

Please do not give a teenage boy a password so he has unrestricted access to the internet (one of the worst ideas that will surely give him many problems - addiction, exposure to online grooming, etc), as many are suggesting.

"Parental controls" can always be got around and will be got around given time.

Exactly. Happens too often on MN where people without common sense or empathy fall over themselves to bash someone who simply wants civilised adult opinions on how to manage a personal challenge.

Massive well done, OP, for doing this. You're prioritising his housing and financial security, and those who haven't battled addiction have no idea what they are talking about (internet access does not trump those basics).

You're actually parenting how I and many of my kids friends' parents are parenting: no phones or unsupervised internet access for our kids until 16. The school will have to adjust. There's a growing movement that are doing this also. When I was a teenager, I went to the library everyday after school and it added brilliant structure to my day and a habit I kept up: all my homework was done on time, and there was never any stress in the evenings with my parents trying to get me to do it.

Honestly, this has the potential to be brilliant for him and your relationship. And he will swerve the awful phone addictions that his friends will have and exposure to awful online content (75% of 15 year olds have been sent a beheading video). Well done and keep going!

Get the internet but make it password protected and only let your son make and use the password?

This is very difficult. It's one of those things like food addiction as opposed to alcoholism or drug addictions: you can strictly keep all traces of booze or drugs away from your home, with no harm (and a lot of good) for everybody in the house; but you can't just simply have no food in.

I realise this is very unorthodox, but if your DS is a responsible kid, is there a way of letting him control the wifi password and access? You could still see if your ISP can block adult sites at a supplier level; and/or otherwise make it a condition that he can only use the internet in a family room, with you able to watch him.

Alternatively, is there another trusted adult in your wider family or friend group who could control it remotely for you?

Some people clearly have no idea how addiction works.

would you be saying that the OP was selfish if she didn’t allow alcohol in her house due to an addiction? I think not.

my solution would be to get him a smart phone with unlimited data on the plan and have him lock it with his face or whatever so you can’t access it.

We are just coming to the end of our first year of secondary and could not have managed without internet access. Every single bit of communication to parents is through the schools app, behaviour points, newsletters, praise messages from teachers, it’s how we contact teachers if there’s an issue, book slots for parents evening, school trips, house point updates, homework, everything. I understand you not wanting to set back your excellent progress but you will need to find a way to navigate a little bit of the internet to keep up with everything at your sons school.

Well said. What is wrong with some people?

All our sickness, absences, homework, paying for school trips, notifications from teachers, and parents evenings are done via app and online. You need to find a way to navigate this for him and yourself.

This is a good point.

It eats data but it should work.

I’d talk to the school and see if they can help with a setup

Bloody hell, there are plenty of ways to give this advice without battering someone with a severe addiction which she is trying hard to manage.

@Vaxtable what the hell is wrong with you that you want to kick someone like this?

He is likely to need a smartphone soon, and he can use this as a personal hotspot for a laptop, or can search using the phone. He will need internet yes, but you don’t need wifi in the home.

YANBU Obviously not ideal, but this is the real world we live in and it's not perfect. Keeping your gaming addiction under control is more important in my opinion. You will have to work hard so your DS is able to do his school work, I do think it's worth talking to the school. Just think how detrimental it would be to your son if you relapsed, far worse than having to go to the library to do his homework. I think you are being a responsible parent.

It might be tricky, but the best thing to do is talk to the school - if they run afterschool clubs or whatever in the evenings, he may be able to stay on site if they understand why.

We didn’t have reliable internet when I was growing up so I used to go to the library every day after school to do my homework ect. It is possible and I will say it was a good habit to get into for university. However I think you should have internet at home for your son, it will make his life easier. Surly there’s another way to manage the gaming addiction?

I think it's going to be necessary for him to have Internet access but this must be so hard for you. I hope you'll be able to look past posters who are shaming you for struggling with addiction.

Agree you will be completely doing your son a disservice. Get the WiFi but get him to set the password and not let you have it!

Agree with this, just him having access not anyone else. Perhaps him having a phone which can be tethered.

Your addiction seems a severe one so I get why you do not want wider internet access.