Blowing rasberries. Should I be concerned?

If she starts an argument then that’s up to her, your responsibility to keep your children safe comes first. You aren’t accusing him of anything, you are putting boundaries in place for your child with every adult, if someone has a problem with that then they are the issue

Let there be a fall out!

It’s highly inappropriate and utterly disgusting.

Also, this man isn’t her grandad if he is of no biological relationship with her.

Keep your baby away from this man!!

It’s definitely unusual. Doing it to a small child is something that happens often. A small child doing it on the cheek/arm or trying to do it on the covered belly of an adult/lifting a tshirt up to do it as they’re copying, again, fairly normal.

Actually exposing your belly (in a room full of people?!?) and encouraging said child to blow raspberries on it? Definitely not normal or something that just happens.

It makes you uncomfortable so it’s not ok.

My dgs tried to blow raspberries on my tummy, I distract him and discourage it. He’s happy to be play something else instead.

I haven’t read all the comments. But it’s definitely not acceptable if it makes you feel uncomfortable and you should ask the GP to stop. No need to lie or make up stories. It’s inappropriate, you don’t feel comfortable and you’re trying to teach your child about boundaries. End of.

This makes me think of my stepdad....hence why I never see him now my mums dead

Why is everyone talking about the child being made to do it? OP doesn't say that.
If your child is choosing to do it I don't see an issue, it's something that many families do as part of play when small

It doesn’t matter if other people think it’s normal it’s your child and your not comfortable so you’re allowed to stop it .

I've redirected a child trying to blow raspberries on my tummy by offering my arm instead, perhaps you can ask him to do that in future? You don't have to be accusatory, you can just say you are trying to teach her that nobody should remove someone else's clothing (except parents/caregivers/doctors etc).
..I just scrolled back in between typing and also like PP suggestion if saying she's tried to do it elsewhere so you are teaching her it's not appropriate.

I don't think it's necessarily sinister as much as ignorant, maybe even just trying too hard to be "fun grandad" knowing there isn't that bloodline bond. But it would still make me uncomfortable. (And of course, it could be more than that)

Bum smacking is absolutely not alright, it’s essential to teach kids that no one touches them there. Blowing raspberries isn’t such an issue generally, you have to listen to your instinct. This man isn’t helping your daughter understand boundaries whatever his intentions.

I think you just have to say clearly you don’t want X and Y because you want your daughter to have clear boundaries.

This is exactly what I thought!

Playing weird games and testing the boundaries. Please do not leave your daughter in the care of this man!

Even if it’s all innocent, it’s still all so strange. SA is most often done by close family/ friends who have access to the child.

You lifted up your top and asked them to blow raspberries on your stomach?

We do it to children because it feels funny. An adult should not be asking a child to do it to them. That's wrong on every level. Namely that, whatever the intention, adults shouldn't be asking for that level of intimate contact from a child.

I disagree.

A lot of familial SA hides in plain sight because of this exact attitude.

@Hotandbotherd I think there's much to be said for the notion that if it feels weird to you, it is weird and therefore it is not weird to ask for it and expect it to stop. How it feels to others hypothetically is completely irrelevant.

I’d call this man out on it. The fact you know there will be a big fall out if you bring it up is the biggest red flag of all.

You absolutely do live on another planet. Clearly one where you have never had to deal with SA as a child or an adult.

Child sex abuse is not hysterical nonsense and it’s people like you who are either ignorant to the facts, turn a blind eye or are just so naive is partly why this still goes on unseen.

Your reply is really quite disgusting.

The most important thing is how it makes you and your dp feel. If you’re uncomfortable then that’s good enough, you’re the child’s mum, trust your instincts. Also I would absolutely put a stop to the bottom touching, give your kid some autonomy. I hate the way some people force this kind of ‘affection’ on children as if they have no rights.

I do this to my cat. He loves it.

Exactly this. Asking a child to place their mouth on your body and telling them you like how “wet” it feels?? In what world is this normal, acceptable practice!?

You are well within your rights to feel uncomfortable about this OP and anyone who couldn’t understand that this discomfort demands a boundary (not an accusation of wrong intent, just a boundary) probably shouldn’t be alone with your child.

I wouldn't like that. When they were younger mine loved getting raspberries on their tummy and I loved giving them because it made them laugh so much.

Sometimes they'd try to give them back to me, but id say no, I didn't like them. Even though perfectly innocent, it made me uncomfortable. Certainly wouldn't like a relative lifting up their top and encouraging a child to do it.

I think the proof will be in the pudding. If you say , or write to them, that you've felt uncomfortable with some of the play and you are teaching child appropriate boundaries. You're asking everyone who cares for the child to please avoid (touching bottoms or chest, lifting up or removing clothing, kisses anywhere except on head /when greeting).

If they are genuine they will be fine with that. Especially as it's framed as helping her learn so she will be safe from anyone dodgy.
If he is abusive he will know you're onto him and back off, or explode and tell on himself.

Blowing a raspberry on a toddler’s belly is pretty normal.

Lifting up your top and asking a three-year-old to blow raspberries on your own belly, as an adult man (which is what the OP describes) is quite different though.

It does feel a bit much to me. My family in general tend to be affectionate and there’s always been lots of hugging and kissing of little kids, kids sitting on laps etc. But not encouraging them to blow raspberries on adults’ bare bellies and definitely not any bum-smacking.

You let your dn's lift your top and blow raspberries on your stomach?
Because that's what we're talking about.