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AIBU?

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DH and the washing machine

137 replies

recklessgran · 28/06/2025 09:54

Just looking for some perspective on this as sometimes I think I'm going mad. We returned last night from a week's holiday - obviously with the usual dirty laundry and like most women I'm keen to crack on and get the laundry started and out on the line. This morning DH got the cases in from the car so I thought I'd get the first wash load on ahead of going out to get groceries for us as well as my demented mother to whom I would need to deliver said groceries.[Lives alone with a small care package] and obviously haven't seen her so would need to catch up and make sure she's O.K, etc
DH fully aware of this plan [and the fact that I always start the washing as soon as the cases are in from the car]. He was taking our dog out for a run whilst I cracked on with above jobs. No issue with that - usual routine. However the next thing I can hear the washing machine going so I asked DH what was in the washing machine. Dog towels he says. Dog towels says I? What? Now - today when I've got a case load of dirty holiday washing to do? Yes, you guessed it - all this hot weather and he decides to put a load of muddy dog towels on that he's been storing in his boot since the last wet weather so obviously not newly muddy or needed to be washed today or likely to be used imminently given the current heatwave. He does not understand why under the above circumstances I'm so cross that he has prioritised laundering the bloody dog towels. So, AIBU to be really cross with DH this morning as he seems to think so having just stormed out with said dog ? [So as not to drip feed he has form fror this kind of thing and often has his own agenda where it doesn't occur to him to consider anyone else's needs.]

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 28/06/2025 16:46

tiredandtiredandtiredandtired · 28/06/2025 16:20

My husband is great at putting the washing on. Then leaving it in there for a few hours to get nice and creased before he puts it on the line. Then takes it in and leaves it all crumpled up in the washing basket until I put the clothes away. (He works from home and I work 10 hour days). Yes there are bigger things to be irritated about and people tell me I should be grateful that he even puts it on 🙄 but we have the right to be annoyed. I would be annoyed too.

Is there a business opportunity out there - teaching ridiculous men basic household chores, for a hefty fee?

I feel some of them are stupid enough to only value tasks that are monetised in some way, and would jump at the chance to earn a participation trophy.

Manthide · 28/06/2025 16:45

Just impressed he could operate the washing machine! I was away for a week in September and when I got home ds greeted me wearing a christmas jumper as everything else was in the wash. I didn't blame ds as I knew he used the wm at university- and he'd just come out of hospital having been in intensive care. Dh thinks he's being helpful when he opens the door at the end of a cycle!

mathanxiety · 28/06/2025 16:42

Trillianaire · 28/06/2025 16:34

DH would do.this. on the stupid eco 4 hour wash. the dog absolutely wouldn't care, unlike the teenager who cannot wear any thing but what is in the suitcase and not her extensive floordrobe.

DH was quite happy not cooking for a decade but noticing I'd switched the oven on at an uncharacteristic time of day, 10am, switched it off to conserve fuel. It was Christmas and yes the turkey was in there.
His fucking mother congratulated me on having a DH who took notice of kitchen things.

Hopefully you asked for a nice new patio for Christmas the following year.

Motheroffive999 · 28/06/2025 16:42

Ah he thinks he is helping , you said washing so that's what he did.
Next time tell him what type of items you want in first.
I give my husband a list when he asks what needs doing ,it's easier.

LindorDoubleChoc · 28/06/2025 16:41

This is the kind of behaviour that would upset the very old fashioned, uptight and rigid people I know.

Fibrous · 28/06/2025 16:34

HarrietofFire · 28/06/2025 10:33

My DP is absolutely not allowed to touch the washing machine. Unlike many of you with gardens and outside space who like a good drying day, we live in a small flat with no outside hanging space. I can only dry eight large items at a time, even on hot days it takes a full day to dry a load. I approach the washing with military precision. Every now and again he inexplicably decides to ‘help’ and we have to have the washing conversation again. I feel your pain op.

We had this (although small house not flat) but bought a dehumidifier and it's been a game changer.

Trillianaire · 28/06/2025 16:34

DH would do.this. on the stupid eco 4 hour wash. the dog absolutely wouldn't care, unlike the teenager who cannot wear any thing but what is in the suitcase and not her extensive floordrobe.

DH was quite happy not cooking for a decade but noticing I'd switched the oven on at an uncharacteristic time of day, 10am, switched it off to conserve fuel. It was Christmas and yes the turkey was in there.
His fucking mother congratulated me on having a DH who took notice of kitchen things.

ThereWillBeSun · 28/06/2025 16:32

It all needs washimg, what does the order matter? Unless you’re missing the really important info that you need something desperately today then this makes no sense, and if that’s the case then just prioritise that thing in the next load.

Shitmonger · 28/06/2025 16:24

I’d just cancel the cycle and chuck the wet towels into the bathtub/utility sink/garden for him to deal with later. He knew the post-holiday laundry needed to happen and is just being awkward and thoughtless. He can lug the wet towels in and restart them once the important stuff is done. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also dog and horse laundry is always lowest priority and happens after clothing or sheets because it’s dirtier, so he’s massively unreasonable for that.

TeeBee · 28/06/2025 16:23

I don’t think I could be bothered to get worked up about this. Dirty dog towels also need washing so who cares what order everything gets done?

JudgeJ · 28/06/2025 16:21

greencartbluecart · 28/06/2025 12:29

Depends if you have enough knickers or not I guess

They'll soon dry, I hung out a load of washing and when I pegged out the last pair of pants I took a cotton t shirt off the line and put it on, bone dry!

MagpiePi · 28/06/2025 16:21

Oh lordy, more womaning things I’ve failed to do all my life - washing holiday clothes the minute I step through the door, and ‘allowing’ a man to use ‘my’ washing machine.
😱

mathanxiety · 28/06/2025 16:21

BlueRin5eBrigade · 28/06/2025 16:15

It could be worse. At least he knows how to use the machine. I went out for lunch with a mate and my H called me to tell me the washing machine was broken. He even changed the fuse. Unfortunately, he hadn't pressed the ON button.

We expect far too little of men. This is sad.

tiredandtiredandtiredandtired · 28/06/2025 16:20

My husband is great at putting the washing on. Then leaving it in there for a few hours to get nice and creased before he puts it on the line. Then takes it in and leaves it all crumpled up in the washing basket until I put the clothes away. (He works from home and I work 10 hour days). Yes there are bigger things to be irritated about and people tell me I should be grateful that he even puts it on 🙄 but we have the right to be annoyed. I would be annoyed too.

mathanxiety · 28/06/2025 16:20

Meh, does the wash cycle take five hours?

JudgeJ · 28/06/2025 16:18

Sansan18 · 28/06/2025 09:57

Unless he's put it on a really lengthy wash cycle I don't see the problem.

Memories of a Christmas Day years ago when OH decided that mid morning, as I was cooking lunch for 12, was a good time to put a washing load in, including all the oven gloves!

Stressybetty · 28/06/2025 16:17

This would annoy me but not excessively. DH has no clue on how to use the machine so no worries there. I have these brilliant big zipped bags that the dogs stuff goes in to avoid getting hair etc in the machine then it's on the washing line. I don't tumble dry the dogs stuff. amzn.eu/d/dvJo944

BlueRin5eBrigade · 28/06/2025 16:15

It could be worse. At least he knows how to use the machine. I went out for lunch with a mate and my H called me to tell me the washing machine was broken. He even changed the fuse. Unfortunately, he hadn't pressed the ON button.

MyCoralHedgehog · 28/06/2025 16:11

This would piss me off too and is exactly the sort of thing my husband would do

ConcernedOfClapham · 28/06/2025 13:10

Annoying, but this happens when you marry an idiot. I’m sure he makes up for it in other ways.

greencartbluecart · 28/06/2025 12:29

Depends if you have enough knickers or not I guess

Cynic17 · 28/06/2025 11:48

This is really not a big deal...... your laundry won't explode if it has to wait for an extra hour before being washed! Just relax- you've been on holiday, so don't undo all the good of going.

k1233 · 28/06/2025 11:42

He's going to have a busy day washing then, isn't he. I'd be telling him to have fun with it all and not touch it.

HouseholdBudget · 28/06/2025 11:14

ClairDeLaLune · 28/06/2025 10:51

Mine would be dry and ironed by now 😂

Now we are into speed of laundry competitions. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sitting with a coffee while husband is doing the ironing. As he has done for the last 20 years of Saturday mornings.

grumpygrape · 28/06/2025 11:05

Sparticle · 28/06/2025 10:15

My DH does all the laundry and ironing etc in our house. And most of the cooking. Just to give the other side that ‘not all men’ are totally useless.

No, I know they aren't but they rarely get a mention on MN 😉

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