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Original poster

Reception class allocation

107 replies

uniquemarta · 28/06/2025 09:10

Hello - before I get lashed out with harsh answers please be kind 🙏

👋 my son is due to start reception in September. There are 5 children from his nursery going to same school in reception, but only he's been placed in a class on his own while all the other 4 are together, one of which is his really good friend. I made him aware that he's not going to be in a class with his friends and he's is so sad to the point of tears; he said he feels very sad and confused he doesn't want to be alone in a class without his friends. We're both sad and anxious now. As much as I try to reassure him that he will make new friends and he will be well and enjoy school, I cabt help but worry how this is going to affect hid emotional well-being through this transition. He is a social boy but sensitive and emotional, he gets easily attached to people and he needs that familiar face to settle easily in a place unless he doesnt have that option. I approached the school manager and she bluntly said that they can't dp anything letters are out and that is that he needs to stay where he is. The nursery manager approached me and questioned allocation as she felt it isn't right also knowing how my son although able to make friends, often feels lonely and needs his peer support or a familiar face,. I approached again school and manager gave me the same response saying that "he will have other familiar faces in his class" and nothing can be done. I tried to let it go, I keep encouraging my son that he will make new friends and he will be absolutely ok, he cries every time I remind him his friends won't be with him as it hasn't sunk on with him, he always mentioned doing this and that with his friends in school. Nursery managers still question this and advised me to forward this to inclusion officer and assistant head, which o have. I read lots of forums in other moms experiencing this with reception and I can see no one had a positive outcome following appeal, so I am ready to accept it, it'll take a while especially for my son, but i had to try before I give up. Anyone had a different response? Thank you

OP posts:
Pingiop · 28/06/2025 09:24

You probably shouldn’t have told him this early about not being with his old friends. But the manager is right. They can’t change it round as they would have to do that with every child surely. Kids are resilient, he’ll be fine and get use to it. It’s a good lesson to learn as he might not be with his friends in high school either.

SilviaSnuffleBum · 28/06/2025 09:24

Stop making such a big deal out of it by mentioning it to him.
He doesn't start 'til September, which is a lifetime away for a 4 year old.
You being 'anxious and sad' helps no-one.

Goldengirl123 · 28/06/2025 09:23

Why do you keep mentioning it to him and increasing his anxiety??? Turn it around and make it sound fun. He will be meet new friends and he can tell his other friends all about them at break times

ARodeoQueen · 28/06/2025 09:23

Reception teacher here. It sounds like a mistake to me. Were they aware all 5 were going from the same nursery? We always put children from the same settings in the same class or an equal split between both. The only reason is if the nursery leaders have told us to keep certain childen separate from others. I'd go and have a word with the EYFS lead. If it was me at my school we would be happy to rectify the mistake.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 28/06/2025 09:21

Usually in reception when there are several classes they will share a playground and mix during break, lunchtimes etc plus during free flow play. He will still be able to see his friends from nursery at plenty of points across the school day. It sounds like you are making it worse if you are constantly reminding him every time he talks about doing XYZ with his nursery friends that he won’t be able to because they’re not in his class.

Starting school is still 2 months away, that’s a long time for you to be constantly reminding him he’s not with his friends! It’s a long time for him to be carrying that anxiety. Let him get excited about school and talk about the things he’ll do with his current friends, stop shutting him down with reminders of their change of class and setting him up to be an anxious wreck by the time school starts. If he says he is going to do XYZ with his nursery friends just add on ‘Yes, you’ll see them lots and lots in the playground plus you’ll make lots of new friends who you can play with too.’

You are the adult, you need to put a positive spin on this for your son. He will still see his friends at lunch and playtimes, he will have new friends in his class who he can introduce to his old friends - try and make that exciting for him! In terms of needing to ‘prepare’ him to not be in the same class wait until a day or two before he’s actually going to start school and just make it a gentle reminder, ‘Yes, Leo and Arlo will be at school, remember they’re in the other classroom so you will say hello and have a story inside with your new friends and they’ll do the same in their classroom and then when you go outside to play you’ll get to find Leo and Arlo and tell them about your morning.’ The school clearly isn’t going to change students around so you need to change your attitude towards this, not expect the school to pander to your anxiety.

MummaMummaMumma · 28/06/2025 09:19

Speak to the school. They usually split groups in half. Ask why he's alone, yet the other 4 are together. They hopefully will change it.

Acc0untant · 28/06/2025 09:18

Stop reminding him he won't be in a class with his friends. He can still play with them at break and dinner but, gently, he's only in nursery. A lot of children (most, I'd wager) don't know anyone in their class going into reception. It's totally normal, he will make new friends. It was extremely unlikely he would maintain nursery friendships going into school.

If he talks about playing with Jimmy and Simon at school just nod and say yes I'm sure they'll play lots together at lunch time, and to think of all the new friends he can make too, change the subject and talk about how lovely his new teacher is or how dapper he'll look in the uniform.

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