To ask how to deal with frustrating team members at work?

I think maybe some pp are missing the point about how the OP’s team works as a whole - if one person isn’t pulling their weight it immediately affects the others and I expect that work has to be done regardless. It’s hard to ignore the fact that someone else is doing less and that means that you do more. I suppose OP could be less conscientious and let things crash and burn but then there will be questions about why they didn’t discuss the tasks and workload as a team?

Don't get frustrated with them. They have their stuff they need to work on - their strenghts and weaknesses, and you have yours. Work on doing the best you can for your own job satisfaction.

I just focus on myself. I work hard because I like to be busy and like the sense of achievement. I take on complex work because I like to further develop my practice and experience. I recognise people have different abilities and limitations, not everyone can work to the level I can and that's okay with me.

It's not your job to manage other people's performance unless they report in to you.

Focus on what you can control and do. Not on others.

I am a distinctly 'average' worker, do a good job with a fair few moments of brilliance.
Before my DC, I used to be very focused on my career and get frustrated if other people didn't pull their weight.
With age and experience, I have realized that there are way more important things in life. I have been made redundant twice when I was a high performer and, when it boils down to is, I am a number on a spreadsheet. At this stage in my life, I just don't have the bandwidth to give 100% to my job as other, more important aspects of my life, would suffer.

I work with a 'high performer' which actually means she does much more than she is paid for. Occasionally she'll ask if I have done something because she's done her bit. I will just tell her 'no' as the deadline isn't till next week. It's bloody annoying.

If you work in a big company, they will have courses to hone your behavioural and leadership skills. If you work for a small company, look online for material.

Without wishing to sound patronising, how old are you? I only ask as you sound very like I was in my 30s and I had an epiphany of sorts at about 42. I’m not paid to worry about what my colleagues are doing, I love my job so I do it to the best of my ability, if I’m asked for my opinion I will give it but basically I go to work, do my job and go home. It’s very freeing.

I wonder if your colleagues would describe you as 'high performing'? You seem to have some awareness of the your inetrpersonal challenges. Maybe this is an area where you can continue to improve in a refelective way? That might make you feel a bit less separate to those with their own challenges and areas for improvment.

I get you op i feel the same and our job is quite physical so it makes me resentful at times. I've started to tell myself that I can go home every day knowing I'm a good colleague and I know management do recognise that as I get glowing appraisals. I doubt they can say the same about themselves. I also like the idea above that if they're doing so little it makes you look better. I shall use that idea.

I recommend always keeping Hanlon's Razor in mind: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

Some people are simply not competent, and as competent people, we often don't 'get' that. I often used to remind myself, 'they're not meaning to be twats, they are just too stupid to find another way to deal with this.' When you look at it that way, you find SO much evidence of the truth of it.

Bill could clock that he's got work tomorrow and not go on a bender tonight - but he's too stupid, so he'll phone in sick.

Mary could do all the same small things I do to make the job easier for everyone else - but she's too stupid to notice that. And in fact, she does plenty of things that make everyone else's job harder, to save herself a max of 15 minutes a day.

And both are unable to notice or understand how it impacts others.

A quiet explanatory word often works wonders - and has done in both the situations above. But there is plenty of incompetency that cannot be rectified - plenty of fish seem to get jobs that require riding a bicycle. And that's where acceptance, and the judicious use of boundaries, is the only way.

i don’t work late (its not done) but when i authorise someone else’s work and its nit done correctly, its reported.

nothing to do do with my job looking better. It does impact everyone else’s job. Financial consequences.

Yes there's something in this. I absolutely shine compared to the incompetents and know that they'd be let go way ahead of me if redundancies were ever on the cards.

This is probably going against the grain but I quite like underperformers as they make me look much better at my job!
As long as it’s not impacting on my work otherwise I would say something (and have done previously.

It is really stressful working in a team of high achievers where everyone is going above and beyond and staying late all the time. A bit of underperformance brings balance and takes the pressure off.

Luckily I’m nhs so there are always some underperformers but preparing to get flamed! 🤣

Why are YOU so concerned?
Personally, I don't like busybodies who spy on their colleagues.

Why are so concerned? You don’t work with her.

No, I asked why are you timing her instead of doing YOUR work?
Or is it your job to monitor her?

Yes work. She’s being monitored, she knows it yet still does it. If she worked in private sector she’d be out of the door.

"the other day it was 20 mins"

Why are you timing her? Don't you have better things to do?

There's hope for me yet.

I work with one too., annoys the shit out of me.

i had a meeting with my LM about her this week. She’s been there for 6 yrs. doesn’t do the basics things she must do, makes mistakes which has financial consequences.

claims MH issues (which she does have but absolutely loves playing the card at every opportunity). Goes on her phone, not for a glance but a while, the other day it was 20 mins, loses concentration, cries, needs attention, watches her dog on doggy cam waiting for it to whine so she can “wfh”. Doggy has separation anxiety 🙄

i told my boss I understand she has her issues but what about the mental health of us working with her?

I’ve worked in an office environment for 33 yrs and ive never come across any person like her. Im tired of the attitude

I manage one guy who annoys the shit out of me.

He's lazy, not very good at his job and doesn't improve his skill set, no matter how much constructive feedback I give him. But for various reasons, including that our local labour market badly lacks talent, wont be getting rid of him any time soon.

You have to find their good points. His are that he's a steady eddy - he's always there, never calls in sick, will shift his annual leave around if needed, and everyone in the team likes him (and it's important to have some of those people around).

It's not your job to worry about it. Speak to your line manager about the feeling of unfairness.