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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I the unreasonable one here?

30 replies

OneVividLilacDuck · 27/06/2025 22:50

My Husband and I have recently had a row because I’ve got the hump with the amount of activities he does.

For example - he works 6 days a week, goes gym 3/4 times a week (1 hour in the morning), sometimes plays golf for a few hours here and there and plays football on a Sunday for 5 hours

We have 2 young kids (3&1) and I feel like I’m grasping on to anytime we can spend together as a family.

in all honesty it drives me mad that there is not 1 day in the week where he is just available the whole day. Is that unreasonable of me to be annoyed at that??

he says if I want to find a hobby we can work to find the time. Okay, when? And if I’m out doing a hobby when is there time to spend as a family?

He has just given me a solution that he can sometimes miss a game of football to do something all together. Am I mad in thinking that maybe he shouldn’t play football on the Sunday?

I just feel like all I want is time spent together and I think it’s not normal that he isn’t home for a whole day in the week. Or is that normal and I’m just wanting too much? Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:
NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 27/06/2025 23:01

Yanbu. When you have young children you need dedicated family time (if possible, obviously sometimes work patterns etc won’t allow but in your situation it’s a choice). He’s being very selfish.

ZippyPeer · 27/06/2025 23:01

I guess the whole day thing wouldn't necessarily bother me, but the total amount of personal time he gets, compared with yours would.

Doesn't seem like you get any time to yourself, and your kids get no family time, but your partner gets to do everything he wants to do. Has his life changed much since having kids? Has yours?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 27/06/2025 22:58

Why does he work 6 days? Do you work full time? If you work part time or don’t work could he drop a days work and you pick up an extra and put kids in childcare so that he has an extra day off which you can spend together? It’s not unreasonable for him to play football once a week, the reason it doesn’t fit into his free time whilst also allowing family time is surely because he’s working too many days to get any work/ life balance.

OneVividLilacDuck · 27/06/2025 22:55

football is usually 9-2
9am - travel to game, train before
10:30 - kick off
and then however long the game is, getting showered, changed, maybe have a pint at the pub and travel home, usually back around 13:30-14:00 xx

OP posts:
jaggededger · 27/06/2025 22:52

Who plays football for five hours?

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