To be strict about piano practice

Yep, if you’re not aiming for a professional level then pretty much anything is fine. At 7yo I was doing an hour a day as a bare minimum, plus extra lessons with a second tutor. I couldn’t go on holiday unless there was a piano nearby we could rent out (portable electronic keyboards were not acceptable) 😬

But just wanted to add, pay attention to not only your DC’s passion but also to their talent. If you can’t see (objectively!) a raw talent, an exceptional skill and ability, I wouldn’t push for anything beyond a hobby level. Piano (like any art) does require actual, visible and exceptional talent to have any chance of making it as a true pianist. Not just someone who can play the piano. You either have it or not. Practice will obviously help to make it evident but you can’t “practice it out”. I’ve seen so many of my friends being pushed and pushed but they were just good at the technique. Only a few of them had real, proper talent. I stopped after over 10 years of playing and learning this way, which included a stint in a recording studio, as I realised my talent compared to theirs was not enough to make it professionally. So for my DS (3yo), if he’s ever interested, unless he shows exceptional talent, piano will be just a nice hobby to have (if at all). No pressure, just curious exploration.

You mention learning piano as a foundation for learning other instruments… It’s possible to learn other instruments without learning piano.

I took Grade 8 in oboe as a teenager and we got a piano the year before I took that when I was around 14 or 15. I didn’t have piano lessons until I was in my 30s when I took a couple years and got to Grade 5 standard - but before that I just played for the fun of it. I’m not sure how or why learning piano beforehand would have helped with the oboe which I really wanted to play from when I was 9 or 10 as I wanted to do an instrument that was a bit unusual.

Learning piano can be great but it’s not necessarily the gateway to other instruments it’s just another instrument at the end of the day.

I have a token box. 10 minutes of practice gets a token. Tokens can be exchanged for time on a tablet.

My kids started piano 3 years ago aged 6 and 11 (now 9 and 14). I encourage practice but never force. I also chose a teacher who is encouraging.

The 14 year old has completed grade 5 on another instrument (started aged 9), and although he has never practiced the piano much initially, he can now play grade 5 pieces, although I've always said that grades are optional and it's up to him. I suspect he will opt to do a grade next year.

Oddly he's now preferring piano over his other instrument as he doesn't enjoy having to do the grades so much and it's taken the enjoyment out of it.

Lucky you, he’s a genius!

My mother ruined my enjoyment of the piano. I couldn't have even a few minutes playing for pleasure without an onslaught of comments about practicing. It ruined it for me and I don't think I'll ever play again.

Did you go on to be a professional @BananaPalm ?

My dad taught at a conservatoire. His party trick with new students was to tell them what instruments they played without them saying a word. Every one was misformed in some way according to the instrument they spent hours on day in day out.

I think it all depends on the level you want your DC to reach. I went to specialist music school (not in the UK) and had to practice at least 1.5-2 hours a day during the week and more at the weekend/holidays/etc. But that was with the aim to reach the level of a professional.

So for someone who treats it just as a hobby, it would be better to do an hour three times a week than 10-minute practice every day. 10 mins is literally nothing, you can barely warm up with scales in that time. And make sure that the teacher pays attention to the correct hand positioning as there are so many kids not being corrected when their wrists mercilessly hang down causing strain and limiting hand movements. “Apple in hand!” as my piano teacher used to say 😂

Absolutely this. My DD plays the flute and has had three teachers over the past few years; they’ve all taught differently. The latest has been a cut above the others; the difference in just a couple of weeks of having lessons with her was incredible thanks to a technique she has taught her, which the others hadn’t. She happily performs on stage at school shows and sounds great.

And has just won an award for musical excellence at high school…

She practices once or twice a week at most! She enjoys playing - it was her choice to learn and still is - so I’d hate for it to become a chore.

At home she’ll go through the songs she’s learning for her exams, but she also has a book of songs from her favourite musical which she truly enjoys playing - the teacher has encouraged this, and this is what will keep her playing into the future - playing songs she loves for enjoyment.

@Whyx I followed your thinking my dd wouldn't have got as far as she has.

Ds plays the violin. He has lessons at school and so always has homework. He practices at least 4 times a week. We always supervise. His favourite bit is the "quiz" where he tries to figure out how to play music he likes and we have to guess what it is. Now that he realises he's not just limited to the book or needing music in front of him, he's a lot more enthusiastic towards learning.

@ProcrastinatorsAnonymous finding the right teacher is far more important than how often the practice takes place.

My recommendation is to find one who will teach your child some songs that they like as soon as possible. If they are enjoying the instrument and can play recognisable tunes (as opposed to scales etc) then they are far more likely to practice.

My mother was insistent that I practiced an hour a day or I might as well not bother. She was wrong. Even five minutes a day would have been beneficial.

With any guitar students I have, the first thing I do is get them to write me a list of their 20 favourite songs in order that I can find some that are relatively easy and weave them into the early lessons.

I was lucky and had teachers who inspired me, and so I think the teacher is the most important part of the equation.

I always find this so difficult. I was forced to play instruments from 5 and had to practice every night. No excuse. I got my Dads point to an extent but I hated it. I played ( and earnt a large amount of money ) from age 11 to about 21. I was forced too as the family needed money and it was my Dads dream. I absolutely hated it. It caused to much anxiety and I left music at 21 and barely ever pick my instrument up. I do understand why my dad forced it but when I had my own child I refused to do that. I let her decide, consequently she didn’t practice and gave up said instrument after a year or so.
Recently she told me as an adult that I was silly not to have forced her and she’s upset I didn’t which makes me think parents can’t win.
I do like the idea of ten minutes a day and maybe a few rest days a week. I never had that and I’d have to come home for things to practice. On the other hand I really was very talented and wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t practiced.

Sorry but I need to know more! I love Tim. I’ve read similar about him-although if he’s done grade 3 and I’ve seen him talking about all sorts of high grade music terms and chords etc I feel like he must be to read music somewhat!
Anyway- that’s amazing you got to meet him and talk about piano! I can only dream. He’s just the most amazing musician

He is amazing in every way. :)

He reads it differently in his head. Traditional approaches didn’t work. He discovered jazz and would “play around” in that style which is how his brain processes it now. Knows the basics but he remembers the rough tune and the chord structure in his head and riffs off it - never plays the same tune the same way twice. He knows he’s ND now, but it’s taken him a long time to admit it.

(DD and I also ND - obviously we didn’t know that when I was a child and my 2x music teacher parents were forcing me to practice. On the upside, with the sort of music teacher that my dad was, the degrees of separation to people like TM are few. I know quite a few very famous musicians. :))

Why do you quote the op? It's bad form.

Piano practice war in my home growing up is exactly the reason that at sixteen I turn to my pressurizing parent and said “sell the piano I will never touch it again” and I didn’t!
The irony is that I was a good player and now that I have my own home (with a piano) I enjoy playing regularly but on my own terms!

Don't frame it as "forcing" practice and then you avoid the drama. It's no differernt than "forcing" the multiplication tables, or daily reading, or brushing teeth. It's just a thing you do.

Most kids early on do not see the point of things like practising letter formation, or phonics, and yet as adults many love to read and write and are very glad they learned. It takes experience to see the results and early on in learning an instrument, the music itself is not always that rewarding - most kids aren't thrilled with Hot Cross Buns. Once they get to music that's more interesting and fun, and they see results of their work, they become more motivated. Though it's back and forth IME - things like puberty can wreck havoc with motivation.

Haha, I get your point. Sorry 😂

more I was trying to say it’s not really to us to force it. They will do it or they won’t. But that they should just have fun with it

but yes, my bad. I sounded like a dick 😂

I think it's a good thing to be fairly strict about practice, and I think 15 minutes 5 or 6 days a week is a good place to start.

I found it better to be regular about which days are "off" days though. Rather than letting them just decide, because that becomes a kind of get out and kids that age often don't really remember how many they have done in the week. But we did sometimes agree to switch out the usual day off for a good reason, like going on an outing that would be busy, or illness.

A regular time is best, just try and see where it would fit best, and with your child's ability to focus, and don't be afraid to change it if its not working. And ask her opinion and try it if she suggests a certain time unless it's totally nutty.

I did find when my kids started I had to sit with them to practice. They needed help for things like following the line of music, or to remember to keep good time, or to understand the directions. It just made it much a more effective practice for me to do that and avoided them "practising" errors.

Both my DDs play instruments. At age 7 they were practicing about 15 or 20 mins per day (can't remember). I let them choose when they want to do it, as long as it's done before bedtime. They also get to choose their 1 day off per week, sometimes they've had a lousy day and I'll allow them to roll their practice over to the following day.

There must be a difference though in forcing practice to point of relationship damaging argument and saying, hey, DC you haven't practice today/this week. Have a go on the piano for ten mins before dinner or before we head out or before we sit down and play barbies together etc. Just frame it as something to be done to get it out the way. If the ten mins goes on longer then great but sometimes there's so many distractions and demands it can be hard to sit down and start practice unless reminded. I always sit with my DC and I learn a long them with them in a way!

If they refused to practice I'd give them a few weeks with discussion around the point of practicing and the fact lessons cost time and money and if it went no where then it would be stopped.

My parenting regret is forcing music practice. Wish I had binned it earlier. Pointless waste of time - plus relationship damaging. Half the time it’s to feed the parents ego for middle class mummy boasting rights. Grim.

Forced practice is hideous? What is the point?

Even if the goal is to be a concert pianist - they need to LOVE it be self motivated to play, experiment and practice. They won't love it if it's been turned into a soul sucking family drama 5 days a week.

Your child is 7. Let them play for fun.

EDITED to add - one of my DC is in a world renowned conservatoire and was never asked, even once to practice. They just loved it and would play for hours. They tell me that you can tell who was forced as a child - it shows in the interpretation of music and style of the musician.