AIBU to make a complaint to school

I had same problem at my sons school. Said he had been asleep most of the afternoon as he felt unwell & had a headache. I said why has nobody contacted me. They said they can’t because he hasn’t been physically sick. I was so annoyed, you only had to take one look at him to see he was unwell.

I would have called, if a child can’t complete work there is no point being at school. Sometimes you need to know the child as some children will try it on with a different teacher.

Rude!!

That’s nonsense.

Yet you've created a poll to ask, then complain about 'judgement'? Honestly, in nicest possible way, if you really have time/inclination to complain to the school, go ahead, regardless of the views of others...

Ah that’s good news x

That sounds like a really good idea!

(no MN sarcasm intended!!)

I would want to have been called too, OP. Don’t think you’re unreasonable at all!
However like you say, just have a chat with the relevant teacher and make it clear you were concerned and would like to be contacted next time.

Of course you should have been called if he’s so unwell he was lying down and not doing work, there’s no chance the teacher was able to keep an eye on him and teach the others!
Teachers can do no wrong on MN but on this occasion they got it very wrong to keep an unwell child in for the rest of the school day when he’s not getting better despite having some time out.

I wouldn’t go in all guns blazing but I’d be raising it with the school.

So at many schools it’s not the teacher who decides who goes home and when. It’s often someone working in the office, who is under instructions to keep the children in school if at all possible.
It’s also often the case that a child says they feel unwell, lies down in the book corner for a bit, and then feels better enough at lunchtime to eat their lunch and run around in the playground . They may wilt again afterwards, and it’s very hard to know how ill they actually are.
Maybe you can have a word with the receptionist and just let them know that you are happy to be called if DS is unwell.

How is he now? When you say backache, it’s not into his neck is it?

I wouldn’t necessarily make a complaint but I would want to clarify how Ill he was and was you weren’t phoned and make it clear if he’s like that again you need to be.

Is he a bit naughty or known for making a scene?
I’ve been called to pick up my most well behaved child because they were sniffing a lot but completely happy and chatty and then not phoned when my trouble maker was hit in the face by a wooden disk leading to a large graze, bump and eventual black eye.

Just let them know you'd rather be called next time. No need for it to be a big deal. It can be hard to make the right judgment sometimes although it does sound like they got it wrong here.

I think schools have a tough time of this one. I've been the pissed off parent called in to collect a sick child, only yo get them home and have them.bouncing around all over the place. I've thought that if the school had let them have some quiet time they would have been fine to stay....

I would definitely have had someone call you if I'd been his teacher, and if I hadn't, and I then had a polite email from you asking if in future you can be called if he's too ill to work, I'd accept your request and do so in future.

Usually of course (in fact, almost always) the complaints are from parents who are called and asked to pick up their sick child. Our poor receptionist got so much stick from parents who'd had to leave work. So sometimes teachers will leave it longer than they might otherwise.

I hope your son is feeling better OP. I’m with you, I’d want to know sooner if my child was unwell. Children can get worse very quickly and I’d want to be observing him at home rather than him lying sick in school without my knowledge.

You're contradictory here - you 'WFH and they know, so pick up isn't a problem', but then earlier you say that your MIL picked him up because it was a full day for you - those two things are in opposition. Either you can pick him up or you can't. And as you didn't, you are getting second-hand information - why would you jump to making a complaint when you could just request a conversation yourself with the staff members involved? Much nicer than jumping to conclusions and escalating on the basis of a second-hand account.

YABU. Kids get bugs/viruses, frequently.
There are people struggling with real problems, OP 🙄

I’d take the conflict out of this…you could have a chat with a relevant member of staff, ask about what happened, say what you’d have liked to happen and why, and ask that they keep this in mind for future. Nothing wrong with constructive feedback, doesn’t need to be an official complaint to make a difference. Hopefully school will be placed to receive that,

I’d not have been happy if that was my 9yo, I get where you’re coming from.