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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman on holiday? AIBU?

187 replies

Gogoea · 27/06/2025 18:58

We’re currently on holiday in Spain and got to know another family. Their daughter is the same age as my son - 9. We also have a 6 year old daughter.

Their other family’s 9 year old - I’ll call her Sarah - is visibly overweight/fat with breast growth. She’s an only child.

When were on a trip to another town yesterday the other mum got tipsy and said at lunch - all 7 of us were on the same table - and the mum pointed to an elephant in a book my daughter was reading and said “Sarah’s as fat as that”. -

My daughter giggled and repeated it and I could see Sarah’s face and she was very upset.

A bit later on Sarah still looked upset and wasn’t really interacting at all and her mum sharpiy snd curtly (about my daughter - let’s call her Maisie) said to Sarah;

”look she’s TRYING to make friends with you”.

As we all walked back to the bus stop - my 9 year old son said to Sarah -

“Don’t worry, Maisie (his sister) has called me fat as well”

in other words, my 9 year old DS failed to acknowledge Sarah’s mother’s fault in all this?

AIBU to now have realised that Sarah’s mum is a rancid toxic bitch?

How can someone be like that to their own 9 year old child?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 27/06/2025 19:15

Gogoea · 27/06/2025 19:02

Fair enough - shes 6 but I’m not proud of the way she behaved but I think she just wanted to agree with the mum to ‘please’ the adult

why wasn't your immediate reaction to say to your daughter "that is very rude, and you must apologise right now"?

The woman is toxic, poor Sarah.

Caravaggiouch · 27/06/2025 19:14

She’s obviously awful. But why do you expect your 9 year old to “acknowledge her fault”? And why is your daughter calling him fat?

Gogoea · 27/06/2025 19:12

BendingSpoons · 27/06/2025 19:09

Why are we blaming a 6yo for a grown woman's unkindness? The 6yo probably thought it was naughty and a bit funny, similar to how I can make my 6yo howl with laughter just by saying poo or fart. Your DD calling her brother fat (when he probably isn't?) is very different to a woman insulting her DD like that.

The woman sounds horrible to treat her DD like that. Your DS sounds kind trying to make out it didn't mean anything. Poor girl. At 9, the woman is likely partly responsible for her being fat anyway.

Yes exactly.

i would say tbh my DS is just above average for a 9 year old boy - DD normal weight - but my DS is nowhere near as visibly fat as Sarah

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 27/06/2025 19:09

Why are we blaming a 6yo for a grown woman's unkindness? The 6yo probably thought it was naughty and a bit funny, similar to how I can make my 6yo howl with laughter just by saying poo or fart. Your DD calling her brother fat (when he probably isn't?) is very different to a woman insulting her DD like that.

The woman sounds horrible to treat her DD like that. Your DS sounds kind trying to make out it didn't mean anything. Poor girl. At 9, the woman is likely partly responsible for her being fat anyway.

Gogoea · 27/06/2025 19:08

FionnulaTheCooler · 27/06/2025 19:07

in other words, my 9 year old DS failed to acknowledge Sarah’s mother’s fault in all this

So you didn't call her out on her behaviour but you expect a 9 year old to? Sounds like he was just being empathetic and trying to cheer Sarah up.

No I don’t think he properly heard what the woman initially said, to be fair to him

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 27/06/2025 19:07

in other words, my 9 year old DS failed to acknowledge Sarah’s mother’s fault in all this

So you didn't call her out on her behaviour but you expect a 9 year old to? Sounds like he was just being empathetic and trying to cheer Sarah up.

Gogoea · 27/06/2025 19:07

murasaki · 27/06/2025 19:06

Fair play for acknowledging that.

And your son sounds lovely. He was trying to make her feel better.

The woman is clearly awful and I feel very sorry for her daughter.

Thank you ❤️

OP posts:
murasaki · 27/06/2025 19:06

Fair play for acknowledging that.

And your son sounds lovely. He was trying to make her feel better.

The woman is clearly awful and I feel very sorry for her daughter.

Gogoea · 27/06/2025 19:04

FakingItEasy · 27/06/2025 19:03

Yeah, I agree with PP. Your daughter laughed and you did nothing to correct it, and she's also said things like that about your son?

Yes mum is horrible, but you don't sound a huge amount better.

Fair enough I should’ve said something

OP posts:
FakingItEasy · 27/06/2025 19:03

Yeah, I agree with PP. Your daughter laughed and you did nothing to correct it, and she's also said things like that about your son?

Yes mum is horrible, but you don't sound a huge amount better.

Gogoea · 27/06/2025 19:02

murasaki · 27/06/2025 19:00

Well to be fair your daughter was very rude too. And clearly has a history of it. So while the woman sounds awful, you need to look at your own family too.

Fair enough - shes 6 but I’m not proud of the way she behaved but I think she just wanted to agree with the mum to ‘please’ the adult

OP posts:
murasaki · 27/06/2025 19:00

Well to be fair your daughter was very rude too. And clearly has a history of it. So while the woman sounds awful, you need to look at your own family too.

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