Woman on holiday? AIBU?

😆😄😂

I have to say though, it does help set the tone, in the same way as "Ok everyone, buckle up, this is going to be a long one!" and then cue nine long paragraphs about how they've all been friends since school but "A" now lives six hours away, so they all try to meet at the house of "D" as that's the one most in the middle as it's only 5-and-a-half hours from "A", but the problem is that ever since "C" had her second child, she only drinks plain hot water and not tea or coffee, which is really starting to get on the tits of "A" and "B", particularly "A" as she's starting to resent "C" for it as she's traveled all that way to see her, and I should also point out for context that at university "C" was a right slapper and was the first on the dance floor.

AIBU for thinking it wouldn't kill her to have a cup of tea just to be sociable?

Is your son ok?! He sounds very kind and empathetic. Why would be ever pick up on, or address, what a random woman on holiday said?!

Yes 100% the mum sounds horrific but it’s on you to let your daughter know it’s not ok to laugh and repeat something unacceptable, e.g. could hurt someone’s feelings (she’s 6 so she’s not nasty/wrong she’s just doing what kids do loves to laugh along). Your son sounds lovely but you were wrong in that you didn’t need to cause a scene by addressing the mother (I would have - but wouldn’t necessarily have handled the situation in the best way 😂) but you should have addressed your daughter, not so much in giving her a row but explaining that’s not ok, this is why, and you need to say sorry to Sarah

This trend of " let's call them a, b, c or humphrey, Glenda or Gertrude" in every other post is really doing my head in 🤯🤯

If I was there I would be subtly finding out which town the child lives in and what school they attend to report it. That's emotional abuse and will be really damaging.
I'm not sure if you would bother to do that though. It's really odd that you referred to the child as fat and with breast growth. As they say, birds of a feather flock together, that may be the reason you and the mum ended up together

I wouldn’t care what anyone else said but if my child repeated something as awful as that they would be having a stern telling off from me. Discipline closer to home rather than blaming others.

The mum sounds horrible, your 6 year old should know better and you should have told your 6 year old off for laughing/ repeating what the girls mum said.

Your son was trying to make her feel better and did nothing wrong.

Baffles me how a parent can call their child fat, like they aren't the one feeding them

in other words, my 9 year old DS failed to acknowledge Sarah’s mother’s fault in all this?

What does that sentence even mean? I can't work it out.

The younger child is SIX ! Not her responsibility to call out the toxic mother and too young to really understand the consequences of what the mother is doing to her poor daughter.

I like to think I'd have picked the mum up in that. New friend or not. It's a disgusting way to talk to your own child, any child, I sincerely hope id have made that point.

Your son sounds lovely but also like someone who has experienced similar to ‘Sarah’ which is something you should think about.

At 6 your daughter should know not to make personal remarks and if she thinks that’s acceptable then you should consider carefully what you say in front of her because she is learning bad habits. And you absolutely should have corrected her as soon as she said something so mean even if it did embarrass the other parent. Your parenting should be consistent and stable rather than peer pressured.

Like recognises like.

This is all so weird.

Weird mother co-opting a near-stranger's children into the shaming of her own child.
OP asking if it's unreasonable to call her a rancid toxic bitch.
OP calling out her own son - "9 year old DS failed to acknowledge Sarah’s mother’s fault in all this" - for being the only one to behave with any humanity in this whole weird episode.
PPs calling out OP's six-year-old for responding inappropriately to an adult making some kind of joke.

What a world we're creating.

Oh my god this poor child.

I think my jaw would’ve dropped in shock when the mother made her first comment, I’d scarcely believe I heard correctly, but the moment my own child laughed along (whether out of nervousness or not) it would have been an immediate, firm and pointed “No, we don’t make comments about people’s bodies, that can feel very hurtful.”

Here you are again, degrading a poor child!!

Your daughter is old enough to know not to comment on other people’s weight and her giggling is evidence of that. You should have pulled her up on it. Your son is the only one that comes out well from this.

@Gogoea id say soemthing.
I don’t like how you soak to your Dd and maybe you should think of the damage you are doing to her long term.
I won’t stand by and listen to you abuse her that way .

Humans can be cruel. Being a parent doesn't stop a person being cruel if they are alrewdy cruel.

My mother used to call my brother fat all the time.

None of you come out of this looking great.

It’s also a bit weird that you mentioned her breast growth in your OP

Why are you still calling someone’s 9 yr old “fat” whilst commenting?
She’s a young child!
eg - “but my DS is nowhere near as visibly fat as Sarah”

You should have told your 6yr old something like “we don’t talk or laugh about other people’s bodies DD. It is unkind and upsets people”.

By saying that, you’d have been overtly letting the horrid mother know what a total cow she’s being to her own child.

You sweet 9yr son was just trying to make Sarah feel better - good on him. You should tell him you’re proud of him for showing empathy and kindness.

How would correcting your own daughter saying spiteful things be 'causing a scene'? I'd never silently sit back while someone mocks and shames their child in front of me and other people, and I would jump all over any child of mine that thought it was acceptable to join in with it.

Everyone's lack of response, and particularly your lack of correction will have made Sarah think that you are all in agreeance with her mother.. poor girl.

I'd have called her out too - scene or not. An elephant is massive and muscular not fat and a 9 yo does not choose her diet.

You should have obviously and within earshot of the mum corrected your DD.

Have I missed something or did you just sit there and not say a word whilst your daughter called another child fat?!

The other mother is vile for saying that about her daughter but you, and your partner should have called your daughter out on repeating the comment .

Horrible situation and you should all be ashamed (expect your little boy who sounds lovely).