To be fed up of fighting my hair?

Try a sulphate free shampoo and conditioner? Sodium laureth sulphate is a lathering agent present in most shampoos and shower products. It is drying and strips colour from colour treated hair. I have very thick, slightly dry hair, I use Ogx coconut milk shampoo and conditioner and my hair is so much better.

You need gel like the pp suggested.

I live in Scotland and my hair is still frizzy insanity when I leave it to dry naturally. It only seems to behave itself when I’m somewhere with low humidity. I was completely frying it with straighteners trying to make it look less ridiculous.

It won’t help if you want to dry your hair naturally and have it be wavy but I reluctantly bought a Dyson airstraight in desperation as my hair was so awful and damaged. My hair is now in much better condition and usually looks and stays naturally straight when I have used it. Might be an option if you want to try something different although do some research first to see if it would suit you as they are very expensive!

Find an understanding hairdresser.
My hair used to look exactly like your 2nd photo if I washed & brushed it and left it to dry. I've always lived in a hard water area. I eventually found an experienced and understanding hairdresser who gave me a just-below-shoulder cut with a little bit of layering, specifically to work with my curl, and found me some moisture creme that works on my hair based on what I like/dislike. Once the weight was off, the curls bounced up and are a lot more defined. I brush wash, put the gunk on, scrunch for less than a minute (no heat or brush) and I'm done; the curls form as it dries. That woman is a miracle worker.

I have the same hair as you but live in a hard water area. I only wash my hair a couple of times a week and just scrunch some water through the rest of the time if needed. I use Aussie moist shampoo and conditioner and then Boots curl cream (big pink tub about £2). I have used the curl cream for years and it is the best thing for defining curls and fighting frizz. I also have long layers cut through my hair as it gives it a more polished look as it can be dry and clumpy if left to its own devices.

Yes, this is why I straighten mine. My natural wave is nicer if I am willing to spend forever styling it, which I'm not. A brazilian blow dry every so often and I can let it do its own thing without looking like a crow's nest.

I feel your pain my friend. This time of the year is the worse for this type of hair. A few years back I went and had the straightening treatment and it was blissful. Groupon often has offers for that. You do need to keep getting it redone but I went quite a long time in between. After about 5 years I let it grow out and embraced the curls again - it’s such a lot of work 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think they suit me better than straight hair but I still think wistfully about those easy hair years 🤣

See, anything with shea or coconut makes my hair go craaaazy. It causes loads of frizz and makes it somehow greasy yet wiry and bushy

Silicones are pretty much the only thing that makes it go soft and silky and all point in the same direction

Oh god I hear you OP. If I see one more fecking advert for fecking Merwave I won’t be responsible for the consequences. And the woman in the ads has horrible greasy roots even when she’s just plopped and squished and scrunched out the crunch from all the unnecessary products on her freshly washed (but not clean) hair.

Like others above, I’ve found that the only thing that helps me is strong-hold gel (I use a gel spray immediately after washing and just leave it to air dry). It does mean more frequent washing though, as my hair only looks good on wash day and goes insane overnight while I sleep. Or I use my GHDs followed by hairspray, which can buy me 3 days between washes if I’m really really lucky.

It is SUCH a faff.

I feel you. I just moved from Sheffield to Hertfordshire and my hair is frizzy and dull. It was immediate! I've bought a water softener and whole house filter from East Midlands Water (not just for hair but because I have eczema). Will report back if it helps.

Just in case you want product recommendations Shea moisture milk (in boots, orange label) really really helped my wavy hair, and oils too. For heat protector Toni and guy or tres semme (but I do get this isn’t what you’re asking).

Also try one of these combs , they are about 99p from hair / beauty shops

Hi, I’ve got curly hair as well but go to a curly and Afro hair hair salon. I had similar issues to you until I went there and my brilliant stylist (who I now go to all the time) told me that the secret is to use gel on the hair while it is still soaking wet, preferably when you are still in the shower! Use it after you used the shampoo and conditioner and then leave the gel in. I found that this worked for me, then I brush it out and either let it dry naturally or diffuse it. It doesn’t matter what gel , use any of them.

I know you said please don’t advise further, and sorry for giving you more advice! It’s just that this is one tip I didn’t read anywhere else and it actually works for me and might be worth a try!

Hope this helps 😀

Ok. I know you said no new products but hear me out.

Cheap gel. Like the stuff that costs a couple of quid and comes in a pot. You could buy the £5 version that's green and contains olive oil.

On sopping wet hair apply a dollop, smoothing as you go. You could do some finger twists or not.

It'll give your hair some hold but it won't do what a lot of other curly products do, which is weigh it down or make it greasy. It just helps keep everything smooth and in place.

Worth a try?

Your hair is similar to mine so I hear you! My routine at the moment is wash about 2-3 times a week, apply a generous dollop of Boots curl creme when wet, dry with a diffuser (but use as a straightening tool rather than curling it), then a quick straighten. It always goes back to waves anyway, no matter if i straighten it, but is more manageable. No way can I just leave it to dry naturally - it would look like a haystack!

I do - but unless I do it weekly from the week I buy the kettle, it isn't very effective. I also keep one of those wire wool things in it which I clean every week. They still break. Over 4 years we went through 5 kettles. I've gone back using a whistling one on the hob instead now, which is less fuel efficient but I'm pretty sure it works out cheaper anyway.

The shower head furs up too, the holes get completely crusted with limescale every couple of weeks and barely any water comes out. And don't even get me started on the state of the toilets, they're brown within days every time I clean them and there's a black limescale build up that just Won't Come Off inside both of them despite regular cleaning.

There's a limit to how many chemicals I want to use every week tbh, and no, white vinegar does not do the job.

Our water is hard. Like, really hard. We are on a private water supply not mains water so I assume that's why.

(I don't think it's the sole reason my hair is shit though because I have only lived here a few years, before that I lived in various places all over the UK and I had shit hair in all of them )

@ShittyHottieYou could descale your kettle and it might last longer !

And yes to the (annoying and patronising) presumption that you're a novice! Nope, some of us just have shit unmanageable hair. I've lived with mine for 45 years. Trust me, I know my own hair

I think you just have to trim the ends frequently tbh. Or try a serum, Home Bargains do a decent one in a pink bottle which is only about £2.50 and works great on my frazzled ends. I don't even straighten, the ends are just...like that.

Water is awful where I live but tbh my hair is always awful. I have given up and straighten it. Nothing absolutely nothing makes any difference.

Yes! And people get So Fucking Snippy about it when you don't want to take their advice and spend another £50 on their recommended products. Plus no, I can't start fucking diffusing, I literally barely have time to wash it twice a week FFS.

We are about to go on holiday to somewhere with very soft water (unlike home where the water is so hard we go through a kettle every 8-12 months 😬) so I'll take notice this time and see if I think it's better!

The only thing that works for me is the Lush Rehab leave in conditoner, BUT despite avoiding ny roots within 24hours my roots are oil slick and then I need to wash again. But it softens my strands and makes nice curls and waves. But yeah oil slick head after a day. And normally I only wash my hair twice a week.