EX wife has moved new partner and kids in and my children are unhappy.

Can you speak to their schools on Monday morning? Ask for the safeguarding lead.
This must be heartbreaking for you and your poor children, but you sound such a lovely man - I hope you can resolve the issues.

True and it's just so sad for the children lumbered with these selfish excuses for parents.

You've handled this brilliantly and you're a great dad to your kids. Honestly what pieces of shit your ex and her meathead partner are

What a woeful excuse for a mother she is ☹️.

That list of actions just breaks my heart. Thank God they have one useful parent.

There was plenty to say though.

Don't be ridiculous

Your poor kids and selfish horrible ex. I don't have any advice but I just wanted say you sound like such a lovely supportive dad. Your son especially sounds like he's going to need lots of TLC which I'm sure you're giving him and you should definitely let school know about the situation.

Could you get the artist to paint the same spiderman into the room at your house? I really hope they didn't throw his stuff out.

There is no mention of how the other children have reacted, have they meekly gone along with their dad plan of new home/new family? If so it indicates, they could be scared of him. The resentment has to come out somewhere, it would be directed at your own children. I don’t know any children that would not speak out and be angry at this forced set up. If they are blatantly ignored and told they have to suck it up, the household at mum’s will implode, it could very easily turn nasty, especially if the bf is ruling the roost.
Your ex is very happy to let bf deal with picking kids up and was hoping DC and yourself was cowered by his ‘authority’ and his presence would nip any arguments in the bud! In that kind of set up, the next step could easily be to threaten kids not to run to you and tell you what they are forced to endure.
They underestimated you, they were hoping you would let it slide, for fear of having to step up and go for full custody. They thought you wouldn’t want to risk your own romance and would do everything to not rock the boat. They thought you were like them and only cared about yourself!

The more I think about it, the more worrying this sounds. This man has just moved his kids in and taken over the house. I’m starting to wonder if actually the ex has been pushed into this. She could be trapped in an abusive relationship. Definitely the right thing to get the kids out of there.

No advice, just coming here to say that you sound like a really lovely man and the most caring, loving dad. I can feel your upset and outrage for your children and your very justified concerns. Hope retrieving the bald cat goes as well as it can do!

CONTRIBUTIONS to buy 7 yr old new Spiderman decorations and bedding to be collected by MNHQ?? I would contribute if anonymous collection could be arranged.

You are obviously aching for them - empathy leaps out from the post.

I don't think you have to leap into action just yet, not until the dust has settled. Your immediate job is listener - a job your ex clearly is not doing. Anything you have to do will become plain enough, soon enough. But let it all settle down while listening tto their woes for a little more time. Rushing to the rescue could make things even worse.

It seems likely your children will need you to take them for more time, but they need to get over the initial shock to know what they really want. It isn't an easy situation because if they come to you, they will carry the feeling that their mother pushed them away in favour of her new man's children.

I find it loathsome when the children are treated in these sorts of ways. If one or both of them is introverted by preference, this really will have been a horrendously upsetting experience.

Finally I have read some comments saying that people cannot believe this has been done by their mother. I can. Emotional neglect is where this situation is pulling me, but it shouldn't. These children have one kind and understanding parent who will look after them.

Those poor children, I'm so glad they have a father like you. I dont often say this, but I hope you get full custody for their sake.

I'll never understand parents that will not put their children's needs above their own wants.

I went through this, it was awful at the time, similar situation with the kids sharing and being the same age. Same timeline but they got married so there was not much say. Just to say, although it took months to adjust my children now look back on those times fondly. But the difference is I tried to support my ex as much as possible and kept as good relations as possible so the kids felt secure during the upheavals.

So sorry you are all going through this. I just want to add be very careful moving the cat suddenly if not experienced with cats, as they can easily get lost if they get outside in a new place, and it sounds like you all have more than enough to deal with.

The ex and her new partner sound absolutely horrendous, I hope that you get this resolved.

Poor kids. You sound a lovely dad and great you have room for both so you need to see a solicitor and get full custody

sure any judge will listen to your kids and reiiese being with you is better

My cousin put a gaming system in her very young child’s room (he was about 5 years old).

I thought she did it so she could keep him in his own bedroom and out of the way of the way of the common living areas.

I remember thinking how was it was for him.

I also feel bad for the other 2 children who were moved in. I would imagine this new arrangement won’t last very long as they will be moving in again. Such selfish adult behaviour

I am so sorry this is happening to your children.

Make sure you make a lot of notes on exactly what has been said (quote what they say) and what has happened and when.

Keep any notes or drawings from the children too. Some children may write or draw to get their feelings out.

Was this the former marital home? Were the children aware the rooms would be redecorated? I don’t understand why he wasn’t given the items to take to yours and I’d be sending a text asking for them back so he can put them in his room at yours.

I agree gaming in a seven year old (or eleven year olds) room is unacceptable. Sharing rooms with strangers is unacceptable too.

Do you think she has moved in him as she is struggling financially or because she’s lonely? I just can’t imagine moving a man and his kids in and then getting my kids to give up their rooms.

Op it’s good they have you on their side. Very sad post, and I bet this happens more often then we realise. But yes keep the children, write extensive notes. Talk to the school and a solicitor on Monday. I think your girl is likely to be listened to. Presumably this man had his own place prior to moving in so he paid bills etc? Why couldn’t they just move somewhere bigger?

Sorry op what a shit situation.

This is so sad to read. I have a very sensitive 8 year old and I can't imagine how hurt he would feel having his safe bedroom all changed and a stranger moving in. I hate how some people just think children should just get on with it and cope- why should they?
I would set him up an awesome spiderman bedroom at your house and have him there as much as possible.

She really has damaged her relationship with her children.

The OP’s kids are always going to remember the time their mother moved an entire other family into their tiny house and made them share their bedrooms with strangers.

It’s time to go to Court for primary custody. Personally I would file for interim primary custody until final custody matters are heard. That way your children can legally stay with you.

If there is no Court order you can keep the children.

A 7 year old boy should not have to share with an 11 year old boy who is a stranger to him and about to go into puberty.

I feel so sorry for your children and I can not imagine moving someone into our home. I really can not understand your ex wife’s attitude. I agree with other posters, as there is no court order, keep the children with you and seek legal advice on Monday. And sadly your ex wife has irrevocably damaged her relationship with her children - very sad indeed. Hopefully, your children can feel safe and happy with you.

I don’t blame your DD not wanting to return. My ex moved in a woman and 15yr old boy my DD (was also 15 then) had met twice. I told my ex that she will stop staying there, and had a right go at him but he did it regardless. 1 month later, DD refused to go there, she was very uncomfortable as she is very shy. No-one would want strangers in their home. I get that people want to move on, but sorry, I chose to not move any people into the home I shared with my kids. Sure date, but this is massively disruptive for your kids, and I don’t blame them for reacting like this. Your DD has the right to ask to move in with you, and mum is going to have to live with the consequences of her action. I really feel for your poor boy having his room completely changed like that. I’d go to court and ask for full custody, mum is thinking of herself only.