EX wife has moved new partner and kids in and my children are unhappy.

Please,please don't do anything without legal advise. Try and keep communication open and civil, don't interact if it gets abusive....stay calm, and good luck.

Unfortunately there are plenty of women who put men before their children , for some women ( and men) having a partner of any description is more important than anything as they just don’t want to be alone .

Obviously I don't know these people but I can't help but worry what sort of a hold he has over this woman that she's making her own children so unhappy.

I think its a cocklodger situation

Support your daughter to call social services or the NSPCC (or equivalent) .
I would have kept the children and called social services and told them why you were keeping them. If your ex is ‘threatening’ to send her boyfriend round to get them… I’d be telling her to crack on!….
if he turns up I’d make sure it was being recorded. I’d ask him to get off your property, if he refuses tell him to wait outside while you gather the kids.. close and lock door and call police telling them he’s refusing to leave and that social services have been informed and agree for you to keep children. You ex will need to take you back to court, which might be long and drawn out, by which time she might have given up as it sounds to me like she’s either just a dick putting her new partners kids first or her new partner is controlling and manipulated his way in.
How she is treating her own kids is disgusting!! I’ve been single for 3 years… have a 14 year old DD, full custody (not through court but dad hasn’t bothered to see her)… I haven’t even considered dating again.. no way would I move a man into her home… and no way would I force her into a blended familysituation where she was having to share her bedroom! It’s disgusting behaviour on both the mums and new boyfriends side. Des he have his kids
100%?

You don’t have to live together

Yes

This is all round excellent advice for the OP, imo

Yes, it didn’t last obviously 😂 It was I think about 7 years, then we all had to cope with the aftermath too which was probably more traumatic!

I really do feel for you and your DC, but, are you in a position to have them live with you full time? Do you work if so who will look after them if your at work and they are back from school, or on school holiday or ill? Does your new partner stay overnight and do they like her/her like them? Or do they expect you to stay single? Could they go to their mother's after school then sleep at yours? I think I'd work things out and then ask for a meeting with your ex to see if you can work the situation out, then a meeting with kids involved as well. But I would seek professional advice just incase she refuses to discuss things, and I'd definitely not agree to her new partner being included. Good luck, I hope kids end up happy whatever the outcome.

The selfishness of your ex is absolutely infuriating . It’s a delicate situation & her relationship with her biological children should be more important than setting up home with her new lover & his children . The kids have already lost their father from the home . I speak from experience as one of my family members has done this on 2 separate occasions when she moved her new partner & kids in , both relationships broke down & her kids have never forgiven her for putting her own needs above theirs . The last relationship ended when her new partner became violent towards her kids ( but not his own ) . By all means have a new relationship but don’t disrupt the home life of your kids . The children in this post are still entitled to their privacy . His daughter should be able to live with her dad if she chooses . I feel very sorry for these kids .

Why do people prioritise their wants over their kids needs and wellbeing like this? So bloody selfish. She could have continued dating him. She only has her kids 50% of the time so could have spent her whole 50% off time with him.

They got married after 11 months?

Because there is no court order you won’t be in breach of one by keeping the children with you, that makes a big difference.
Your 13 year old will be able to choose where she lives. That’s straightforward.
A court will decide where your 7 year old lives if you can’t reach agreement. However they will take his wishes into account but will also look at his safety, welfare and comfort. It will also help that his sibling lives with you as the courts don’t really like to split siblings up.
The odds are in your favour.
Keep them with you, try to keep communication open with the Ex (she won’t see it clearly and will think you’ve “stolen” them from her”) and seek legal
advice tomorrow. Good luck.

11 months is no time to meet and create a new blended family that are forced to share rooms - sounds like this guy might be calling the shots here.

I agree

No brainer they live with your dc can have their rooms back they way they to. Your ex has put her needs clearly above her children’s needs and this can be demonstrated in court
best

This is truly awful and really weighs heavy on my heart. I think you need to be prepared to draft in a solicitor, and possibly contact the police so think that through and try to get your head around how that might go.
I think the most sensible option is to let your children stay with you for the moment while they feel so upset about the situation, bear in mind this is likely to change and they may wish to return back home, but for now you are their safe space.
There is no reason why you cannot keep your children at your home if that is their expressed wish for now. No one can force them to go home but certainly other services can become involved to mediate between them and their Mother.
I would imagine their mother is panicking and highly stressed just now, which is why she is incapable of a calm and logical conversation. I struggle to have any sympathy for her though as I can't imagine treating my own children this way and think it should be blatantly obvious that this situation would cause them to feel deeply uncomfortable in their own home. The very place where they are supposed to feel most safe, secure and important.
I was a child of a single parent and this would have been my absolute worst nightmare. Especially at such a difficult age.
I really hope you get some resolve and some peace of mind from this. I also hope your children do avail of the opportunity to stay with you more often if it makes them happy.

Your poor kids. Your ex has been really unfair to prioritise her wants over your kids' wellbeing. It's sad your son has had his spiderman room trashed and someone moved in.

The 13 year old should be able to say what she wants. In England she will be interviewed by a social worker with no parent present. I had to go to court in over contact with my DC many years ago as my ex was breaking the informal visiting arangements all the time because he felt he had a right to do so whilst threatening me with investigation by the CSA - I think they would have said I was paying more than I needed to (though it was not more than I wanted to, they are my DC I wanted them to be well cared for). I went for 50% custody (ex had lied in court that the custody arrangement was in place btw) but suspect I would have got 100% had I asked for it - he was being a complete pain in the bum.
This situation sounds toxic and selfish on the part of the DC's mother. And throwing their stuff out is outrageous.

I just wanted to say OP it's great your advocating for your kids so strongly, hope you manage to sort things out their mum sounds awful. I think they would be better off with you I know you say you want them to have a relationship with the mum but at what cost.

Sorry for your situation. I have no advice apart from the raw chicken cat. I assume you mean sphynx / Donskoy or even a Peterbald? The cat community is a little crazy but there will be so much support. They aren’t like normal cats, can’t go outside unaccompanied, need bathing, ears cleaning ect. Your daughter is lucky you are taking the cat in too. I was always a dog person until I owned my Donskoy and I’ve had a sphinx too. They aren’t the nicest cats in the world- promise.

Have you managed to have any sort of conversation with your ex?

You need to speak to your ex and don’t send your kids back until you do. If you are not willing to take them full time then you need to enforce a solution for your kids that works in their favour.

I felt for your children, and although I have no advice, I was wondering how things are going @David850? A really difficult situation.