EX wife has moved new partner and kids in and my children are unhappy.

I would keep both children with you, take legal advice and let your ex take you to court. It's very unlikely that a judge would look kindly on the children having to share a bedroom with strangers, especially if they have a room each at yours and have expressed that they want to live with you. If your ex's partner turns up at your home, call the police and don't answer the door to him.

She’s a horrible selfish mother.

My own mother did this to us and it resulted in my sister moving out and I would spend as much time as possible out of the house and at my grandparents.

It deeply impacted us all and we struggled at school badly due to the strain of having to share a bedroom and having no space away from children we didn’t know and now had to share our most intimate space with. Conflict became constant because my stuff was touched. I was allowed no personal space. Imagine being forced to share your bedroom with a stranger just because you are the same gender/similar ages.

She’s an absolute prick for making your 7yr old take down his Spider-Man stuff.

Something that I will try to word delicately but that is important is I was SA’d by one of the children that moved in with us and so was my younger sibling. Please make sure both your children know that they can tell you anything anytime, how to keep their bodies safe, boys are at as much risk as girls please make sure your son is safe too.

Reading this genuinely makes me feel sick. Your ex has moved strangers in to their home and taken away their only safe space and now they have to sleep next to strangers. She also doesn’t know this man after 11 months.

Id fight for full custody over this.

I've been through this., at a similar age, and it waw awful. I still hold resentment towards my mum as she always prioritised boyfriends over my happiness.

Your instincts are spot on and your children will always be grateful to you for intervening/supporting them through this.

Sorry this is happening OP. Best you can do is be there for your kids. If your DD does not want to go back, make sure she knows she has a home wherever you are always. More important your DD knows you were there when she needed you than keeping your ex happy.
Any trouble with the ex new partner ring the police.
Sorry to say but your ex sounds like she is only thinking of her needs. What child wouldn’t be upset to have so much change in such a short space of time. Even as adults I’d struggle to share a room with a stranger! 🚩 Red flag too her new partner couldn’t house his own children!
Back your kids, be reasonable and calm and keep a record of all herein in case you ever need it. Email good for evidence.

If you're ex was was really set on moving the other family in, I think she should have kept the siblings together in a room each, just for familiarity.

I feel for your kids, they must be finding this all so uncomfortable. Now their safe space has been taken over but children they barely know.

Be their safe space, but also encourage a good relationship with your ex wife too. The last thing they need is to be picking sides, when this can all be resolved with an honest chat.

Hope it all works out so everybody is happy.

Sympathies to your kids OP. My dad (after my mum died) did this, with two kids a year either side of me in age, and it was horrific. I was never relaxed at home again.

As you don’t have a court order in place, in England, it would be up to you whether the children returned or not. If she wanted to force the issue, she would need to go to court. I don’t know if Scotland is different on that. Keep the children tonight, and get legal advice asap. Keep all communication with your ex in writing/ text/ email, and document it, as you might need to prove that she KNEW you were keeping the children and why, as opposed to leaving her in the dark, worried about their well-being.

On a practical note, I would point out to your ex that sending her new chap around to try to strong arm your daughter into going back to her house is not likely to improve her relationship with him or her perception of how her views are being listened to following the move.

Legally a judge would allow your dd to choose how much she sees each parent (even 0% time with mum) Do you live near your ex so that she can go to the same school and see her friends?

And your ex is a selfish person ! She will never put the kids first so you should keep an eye and be close to them always

no court order in place. they share 50/50/ OP in Scotland.

What about your son OP??. So outrageous regarding how his room and even bed has been changed. AND he is not getting his sleep because of the older boy. Please try to reassure him, Seems he has norights as he is only 7.. Hope you can reassure him and he can live with you in peace and a normal situation.

Is there a court orded agreement or do both of you have the same residency rights ? So I can try to help

Sorry no advice, but my heart just broke for your little boy. Taking all his Spiderman stuff and dumping it - how cruel! Your Ex is a selfish cow and a shit mother.

Sorry OP, no advice but your OP gave me the rage!! I absolutely hate it when people do this, they want to play at happy families and don’t give a toss what the kids think. It’s so fucking selfish

I agree.

I doubt any of the children are happy with the arrangement.

@MutedMavis Yep this is my friends situation that I posted above. He was living in his parents spare room. She bought a new build and all of a sudden him and his kids have moved in. He’s laughing all the way to the bank. Then she’s taken the kids rooms away and made them share with a much older child so his daughter can have her own room. It infuriates me. She’s being taken advantage of, but doesn’t see it and no amount of telling her will make any difference. Some people need to learn the hard way.

Just a hunch but I suspect he's in Scotland.

Social services do an assessment of what?
They don't decide on custody disputes.

That's awful. Keep your children with you. See a family solicitor on Monday morning to explain the situation and ask for an emergency court hearing so you can keep the children.

As others have said, with no court order in place you are under no obligation to return the chidlren to their mother. And certainly wouldn't even engage with the new BF. nothing to do with him at all

she's said that if they are not returned by 6pm she will be sending her partner around to collect them.
I doubt you are legally obliged to hand your DC over to an unrelated man.
It is so selfish of your ex to do this to the children.

11 months?? Jesus christ, she barely knows him. Your poor kids.

Many months? More like a couple of years! At least. Not a chance would I be giving up my childrens safe space by allowing other children that they've known for a few months take over their bedrooms.

I hope you are able to have them FT, you may need to take some time off work to sort this out.

I’ve seen mothers when I’ve been in schools who have moved some bloke in and immediately put them in charge of the household and children.
I only believe in blended households where everyone is on board. Why the rush? Is he skint, does he need a woman to do all the care of his children!
If she is prepared to ruin her relationship with her children for a man, I’d let her get on with it. She clearly isn’t thinking what’s best for them at all.

In the absence of a court order your daughter cannot be forced to leave your house, and you certainly don’t have to allow access to her partner! But you should be aware the same would apply in reverse if your daughter visits her mums house in the future, her mum can keep her in and you cannot force entry, so it would be best to try to work together if you can. Otherwise if she is not open to any compromise you would need to go to court. If she doesn’t stay overnight with her mum can she still go there after school? During the day at weekends? You need to work out how to properly maintain the relationship otherwise the courts are unlikely to agree even at 13.