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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Don’t want to talk to a man

105 replies

Flamingodaughter · 27/06/2025 14:25

I F47 need to have a meeting regarding taking too much sick time off work. I’ve worked for the company for 10 years and I’ve never taken time off but I have had a run of bad luck the last few months and it has been unavoidable. The meeting is due today but I’ve just found out that my manager (female) is on holiday and the meeting will be conducted by a male manager who I know but not well. Trouble is, some of the things that have caused me issues are due to what my mum calls women problems lol. I don’t feel
very comfortable discussing my reasons for being off with this male manager. Is this unreasonable?

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 27/06/2025 14:46

As others have said, keep it factual, to the point and you won’t have any issues. I’d arguably say you’re more likely to get a good response from a male manager in this situation than a female one as they can’t relate and so really are far more likely to take you at your word.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 27/06/2025 14:44

I mean, he'll probably find it more difficult than you tbh. But it is what is! I think I'd try to treat it as factual as possible as a pp has already said. Make a list of dates and symptoms/diagnosis etc and maybe hand it to him to read through. He can then ask questions as he sees fit.

Boliviabae · 27/06/2025 14:41

I wouldnt like it either.

Elevenor · 27/06/2025 14:40

Just keep it factual - "I experienced X, or I have medical condition Y, which led to me requiring time off work". You don't have to go into gory details about periods/perimenopause/any condition when discussing with a manager, male or female.

I would hope in this day and age that a grown man in a management position would be perfectly capable of hearing about "women's problems" if it is relevant to their employees requiring time off work.

DillyDallyingAllDay · 27/06/2025 14:32

No you’re not being unreasonable but I’d probably grin and bear it. You might have an easier time of it with a man because he might be uncomfortable hearing it and accept it’s been a hard time? I’d probably write down key points/dates so you can focus on saying what needs to be said and just get it out there so it’s done. You could also say that you don’t feel comfortable discussing it with him and you’d like to wait till your female manager is back?