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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you had this sum of money you’d be pretty relaxed about finances? Or am I out of touch?!

141 replies

Uuaner · 27/06/2025 13:17

75k in savings and 150k mortgage on a 600k valued home.

if I was in this position with no debt I wouldn’t be anxious about so many things like temporarily losing employment, having a boiler breakdown, needing a new car… all sorts of financial stress would evaporate.

would you feel the same?

context is my best friend is in this position (inheritance) and is so so money conscious and always panicking about the next thing that may go wrong… even though she clearly has the money if needed?! Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 27/06/2025 13:26

People's feelings about money aren't always rational.

There are people earning almost nothing who spend whatever comes in and others with hundreds of thousands in savings who are ruthless in never going into overdraft and penny pinching.

It's very hard to judge how someone else feels about their financial situation. It's as much to do with their psychology as it is their actual financial circumstances.

Original poster
Uuaner · 27/06/2025 13:26

@Cynic17 no idea about a pension, I presume through work but I don’t know

OP posts:
Original poster
Uuaner · 27/06/2025 13:26

Daisydoesnt · 27/06/2025 13:24

And what’s her income? Does she have children? A partner? How long has she been paying into a pension?

There shouldn’t be any shame around how we feel about money - if her “bar” for feeling secure is higher than yours that isn’t a moral failing on her part, is it?

@Daisydoesnt of course. I’m not judging her like that, I am more questioning myself as to why I seem to find it such a huge sum!

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 27/06/2025 13:26

Well, first of all, £150k mortgage is debt!

It obviously depends on income and outgoings, but I'd say this person is OK, but still not comfortable and potentially is still going to stress about money. The small amount of savings could disappear in no time. And do they have a pension?

Original poster
Uuaner · 27/06/2025 13:25

I’ve not said anything to her. Just find it really strange, I wouldn’t stop working but I wouldn’t be living on edge about money if I had that.

OP posts:
Daisydoesnt · 27/06/2025 13:24

And what’s her income? Does she have children? A partner? How long has she been paying into a pension?

There shouldn’t be any shame around how we feel about money - if her “bar” for feeling secure is higher than yours that isn’t a moral failing on her part, is it?

ARichWomansWorld · 27/06/2025 13:24

Cross post. There is no need to be really worried and she has more savings than average for her age if you look at stats but each person has their personal level of of comfort when it comes to money. At that age I had paid off my mortgage.

Summerhillsquare · 27/06/2025 13:24

Attitudes to money vary a lot, look at the threads on here. It's also very heart felt so I wouldn't go rubbishing your pal's views. Just make non committal noises and change the subject.

MidnightPatrol · 27/06/2025 13:23

It’s a nice situation to be in, but she needs to support herself for the next 50+ years and it won’t go far in doing that.

You don’t get rich by spending money - better to be conscious about it!

Sundaymorningcalla · 27/06/2025 13:23

I have a large sum of savings but I don't see it as a find to spend from, it's an early retirement pot foe when yhe government fucks us over and increase the retirement age... Again

So for me I'd feel anxious with large unplanned expenses despite being able to afford them.

It's all about a person attitude to finance, not their actual financial position, you can't make comparisons as not everyone thinks in the same way

Original poster
Uuaner · 27/06/2025 13:23

@onehorserace i guess so but I can’t even imagine having 75k and a small mortgage. When my savings reached 15k I was celebrating!

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 27/06/2025 13:23

Agree it depends on the specifics. If they’ve got a job that pays the mortgage comfortable then I think they’re doing well. But if they’ve just been made redundant then that would still be assorted as the savings won’t last forever.

ARichWomansWorld · 27/06/2025 13:22

Her mistake is sharing financial information.

It depends on her age really.

Original poster
Uuaner · 27/06/2025 13:22

@Daisydoesnt she’s 38!

OP posts:
onehorserace · 27/06/2025 13:22

Any pension in addition? One person's feeling of financial security is very different from someone else's.

Daisydoesnt · 27/06/2025 13:22

Well we don’t really have enough info to make a decision? If your friend is late 50s, has little pension provision, dependents, and a small income, then yes I’d be money conscious too.
So age, dependents, pension provision and income all come into it. As does the standard of living to which they’re accustomed.

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