To think if you had this sum of money you’d be pretty relaxed about finances? Or am I out of touch?!

Thing is money can go so quickly. I've this year paid out for my brother's funeral and wake - 12k. A family members legal expenses 30k and we are subsidizing mil in a care home £1000 per month. So that's 50k of unexpected expenses since January.

I could survive for 5 years on 75k.

I didn’t realise it was someone so young with a job when I voted YABU. I am 65, I have quite a bit more money than this but I have no income, basic state pension next year. I’ve got a long way (hopefully) to make it last and I do worry about it.

I don't have any savings and only the state pension to come another 5 years to go. So will probably have to keep working.

Salary plays a part too.

If I was in that position and dh and I earned £30k each - I'd be chilled. I'd be thinking that if the worst happened, even minimum wage is £25k so there are great odds of us just getting other jobs.

If we were in that position and reliant on one of us earning their £80k salary to maintain it - yeahhh I'd be nervous. One redundancy and your life could go down the toilet.

It is just another form of anxiety. In my experience the worry over anything does not correlate with the size of the problem. I worry more about money now than I did in the past despite having a lot more of it.

Obviously that's a decent position to be in. People are ridiculous.

I remember Iggy Pop saying that his accountant told him years ago that he didn't have to work any more, he would never be poor. But he said he still worries today about ending up broke somehow! I think his parents experienced a lot of poverty/insecurity and it left a big impact on him

Some folk stress about money when there is little need. It is their burden.

Judgy! You don’t know her salary, debts, cost of living expenses….

Hard hat on OP - MN has an unusually high number of six figure earners so you’ll likely be told that is actually a very poor financial situation.

I have no mortgage and more savings than that but I still worry. I might not worry about a boiler breaking down quite so much but i'd worry if I needed a new car suddenly...even though I have money to buy one in cash. It's still a lot of money to have to fork out.

We do pay dd's rent at over 1k a month so things feel tight. My car is due an MOT next month and I'm worrying about an unexpected bill.

I'm careful with money, I don't go on holidays. I have seen a bag I like but it's £40 and that seems a lot. Guess it depends what your outlook is. I could lose my job, dh could lose his job...you never know.

Financial security comes from having attitudes like your friend. I don't actually think she's in a position to be complacent because she has more in debt than she has in savings. Having money in the bank isn't a reason to abandon good financial management.

I've been in a similar situation and DH lost his job. £75k in savings doesn't last very long depending on your outgoings. It took him over 7 months to find a new job and he wasn't being fussy. By that stage I assure you, we were worrying.

Exactly, she shouldn't share her info with her friend whose goes online to talk about her.

Most of her net worth is tied up in a house though.

Some people have a very weird attitude towards houses. I know someone living in a massive under occupied house who could sell it and be worth a fortune in cash, but instead choose to keep it and live in poverty. They will never sell it.

Technically they are rich but in practice their refusal to sell makes them poor.

Some people may put their predicament down to their idiot mindset, but to them their house is everything.

I have a big chunk in savings, a lot of disposable income and not much left on the morgage at 40.
But unfortunately I'm a mess when it comes to financial security.
I know it's ridiculous and I always thought when I received an inheritance that I knew was coming all would be fine and I would relax but I think I'm actually worse now 😥.
I definitely have a lot of money anxiety. I work out how much money I have for the week over and over again.
Any unexpected expense makes me panicky and cue a frantic session of how I can cover the costs without taking from savings.
I know a lot of people wouldn't understand, it has stemed from a horrible time in my early 20s in a very bad financial position and I just can't shake it.

I don’t think your friend needs you tittle tattling on an open forum about her finances

So her mortgage will be about £900-£1,000 a month. Other costs will take that to a minimum outgoing of £2,000 a month.

If she has children, are they in private school approaching GCSEs. Or an expensive car on PCP? Does she work in an industry with short tenure employment?

Lots of thing affect security.

While I agree with people saying it depends on lots of factors and that she can’t go crazy….

I think you were looking more for a sense check, which I’ll participate in. She is clearly better off than the vast majority of the planet. Not including pension, she has £575k after the mortgage debt is removed. So including pension she’s likely got a net worth of over £600k before 40. By that logic, if people think she should be worried, God help the rest of the world daring to live without anxiety with smaller net worths.

Basically, yes, you have a point!

ETA: I knew a couple in their mid 20s who were eating beans on toast and pasta most days (with their child), no holidays, no eating out - nothing. They had a double income of what would now (with inflation) be about £80k, owned their home (with a mortgage), and had about £40k in cash savings. IMO, they were NOT well off - but it was OTT to forsake eating proteins and the occasional Cornish holiday for their child.

It's not a small amount of money but isn't huge either.

A new car, kitchen and decent holiday would probably put a big dent in 75K.

No I wouldn't be worried about poverty with that in the bank but I wouldn't be in any rush to spend it like water either.

Money is relative. To someone with no savings 75K can seem like a huge amount. But when you get that 75K and start to spend it you soon realise it can go down pretty quickly.

The easiest money to spend and not be concerned about is always someone else's.

It isn't going to allow her to give up work any time soon. It is a decent place to be, but if spends her savings on boilers etc, then what?

A big part of it may be her background. My husband is very financially cautious because his parents were bankrupt and he doesn't want that happening to him. I tend to be more gung-ho because I have never really had to worry about money and things have always worked out in the end.

She sounds savvy and switched on.

I wouldn’t be anxious, but wouldn’t be relaxed about it either. Imo it would still be important to manage that money incase of a future change in circumstances.

Did she struggle before her inheritance? It’s hard to change your mindset when you’ve spent years surviving financially.

Has she always had money or was she struggling before the inheritance ???

because, from my experience, of being completely broke and panicking on how to feed my kids, buy birthday /Christmas presents, clothes for them etc etc …. Even now I’m much better off, I still get stressed about what I have or haven’t got.

Those feelings of panic don’t just evaporate when you realistically no longer have those struggles.