To think if you had this sum of money you’d be pretty relaxed about finances? Or am I out of touch?!

But they are all very generous things to do that are not your own expenses and you ultimately have a choice about

and also you must be preventing your mothers property from being sold in order to be subsidising care…unless it’s a top up if such a thing exists

Some people just worry unnecessarily, OP.

If she’s that worried about big expenses, she should save for them.

Home insurance? You know when it’s due and should have an inkling about how much it will be next year, so put aside some money each month to cover the bill.

Appliances? Same thing - but aim to save for a new one in 5 years Etc.

If she does that for everything she needs to pay for ( new car, boiler, freezer) the sum she’ll have for emergencies will grow like Topsy, and not everything will fail in the time she has assumed it will, so she’ll have a really nice emergency fund to dip into quite quickly!

Agree, it’s an anxiety like any other and i always try and avoid judgment with friends as….that’s not friendship. I have a similar friend @Uuaner and I know it feels real to her.

Gosh, she is privileged.
At 38,I was living on an overdraft which I cleared a few years ago with early lump sum pension.
I'll never have 75 "k savings, ever.
And I'm OK with that. Some people are mega careful about money to the point where they become obsessed.
I talk as someone who has experienced real poverty.
It's a lovely feeling that that part of my life is over

That's quite a comfortable position to be in, yes. But is she naturally a worrier?

I have always worried about money. I think it's partly innate and partly because my parents were quite joyless and thought spending money on anything "frivolous" was akin to something sinful. When I went to uni I wasn't eligible for a grant. My parents did give me an equivalent allowance but would go through my statements and berate me for any "fun" spends, however small.

I now earn 6 figures, no mortgage, no car finance, comfortable pension and savings and I still get agitated about whether if I spend x it will leave enough savings in case of y. I have become more relaxed but it never really leaves you. There's always something niggling. Have I got enough in my pension if I need to retire early? Well I be able to help the kids pay off student loans? Or have a house deposit? How much would be enough?

I know i sound like a right privileged cow but it's a mindset that is very hard to shift.

Probably why she’s on this position. I frittered away money and never thought of tomorrow. At 50, I can’t outrun my poor choices. Hey ho

Should say on,y a British thing not to

Think it's only a British thing to do. Not known so much secrecy elsewhere in the world

Is she married? I’ve always been nervy about money because I know it’s just me bringing money in, so my safety net never seems big enough. My parents, brother and best friends don’t understand it- but if they lose their jobs or become ill tomorrow there is still some money coming into the household. It can be really hard facing these things alone- both emotionally and practically

Yes I would be relaxed, is she a panicker in general? If I had 75k savings that would be like a lottery win to me

It depends on many things. I am mortgage free and have more savings that her and slightly younger than her with 3 kids. I still would be worried about losing my Job etc as savings would still be blown through pretty quickly.

I don’t get people who share their financial information. Why do they do it?

she didn’t tell you her income?

Different people have different attitudes to money and there is no "right" or "wrong".

I took early retirement (57), am receiving a reasonable private pension, lovely house, no mortgage and decent savings (several times what your friend has) but don't consider myself "well off". I still look around the supermarket to see what the offers are etc but know that if (for instance) we need to buy a new car, we can fund it ok.
My (younger) OH could easily stop working and draw a pension but likes to work a couple of days a week just to "keep something coming in and putting something by".

I think your friend who has a (not insignificant) mortgage to pay and several years left to work is wise to keep a grip on her finances.

On the face of it it does sound like your friend is in a good financial position. However everyone's attitude to money is different - and as we're told in the TV advert our attitude to money springs from when were are aged about 7 years.

Your friend may have grown up having to be very careful with money or not having any spare money at all. IN which case she's probably always going to be careful spending.

I feel sorry for her - having her friends use her situation for click bait on MN TBH.

I have 75K in savings (not inherited - every penny saved) and I don’t feel secure. I’m a single parent and there is only one income. My DD relies on me. Yes, I’d be okay if I lost my job, yes if the boiler breaks I’d be ok but when you’re the sole earner and there’s no food, clothes, holidays etc without your money it’s hard to feel secure. That 75K could go in weeks, a new roof needed, a new car needed, a job loss etc
I can’t relax about money knowing that there’s only me to earn and save it.

Yes I agree that inheritances can be tricky because they come with a lot of pressure sometimes (often self-inflicted, but mentally it’s a hard thing to deal with sometimes). I’ve received a good amount from my mum but I’m almost paralysed with fear about spending any of it sometimes because it feels so, so important that I do the ‘right’ thing with it, because it’s a last link to her, it was her legacy to me and it was important to her that she left that money to me and that it helped me with my life now she isn’t there any more.

So I do get anxious about money sometimes, not in the way of being destitute or anything like that, but it feels like a very heavy weight of responsibility sometimes to do the right thing with it, make the right decisions, in a way I wouldn’t if it was just money I had earned myself.

Inheritances come with so many other emotions and feelings. I’m so grateful for it, but I am basically not touching much of it until I can separate my emotions from it, so my financial situation day to day is relatively unchanged.

I've got a similar amount of savings and some assets (from inheritance after losing a parent young / investments made with inheritance) but I don't see it as money I can necessarily spend at this stage in life (late 30's) as I have a shit pension, a relatively low paying job and a young daughter to support, so I need to make the savings last. Ideally, the house I rent out I will sell much further down the line to fund retirement and I am keeping the rest of the cash in investments that I can't touch so I'm not tempted to fritter it away. I want those savings to last until my daughter is a teenager and all the expense that comes with that.

Last week I had only £5 in my current account and was desperate for payday.

Yes I can access the money if necessary but it would involve planning and liquidising things, and I don't have much prospect of building up the pot again once its gone, because I don't earn a high wage.

I feel you, I work out that if I never work again how many years can I survive! Logically - if I never work again I can survive…..but logic doesn’t seem to come into it!

I think for many - Inheritance money feels like a gift that needs special treatment .

it is not for general day to day stuff. Most people I know that receive one know the blood sweat and tears that their family went through to have a bit put by and feel this money should be utilised wisely on paying off mortgage or school fees to enhance children’s life etc.

buying groceries with it or paying the electricity bill either it often seems ‘wrong’ to many people.

so they fon’t count this lump sum in their day to day expenses and although on paper may appear loaded - they aren’t actually better off day to day and still worry like we all do about everyday expenses.

everyone is different I guess but everyone u know has invested it in a big project either the house, kids or investor by accounts got retirement and so they are not actually better off.

if they used to receive benefits such as UC they are usually day to day worse off after an inheritance as then they will be expected to use this money and uc is vastly reduced if you have substantial savings.

Depends entirely upon how anxious the individual is about money.

Plenty couldn't. I know a lot of people for whom £75k would represent a year's salary or less. Plus, I have a lot in savings but if I spend it I'll have no pension money.

I once read something about big lottery winners, that said unhappy, worried people who won millions were still worried and unhappy 12 months later, and that happy people weren't any more happy 12 months later. If someone is the worrying type there will always be something to worry about even if they have money.

😂This morning, for the first time ever, at the tender age of 48, I put £25 into a savings account. (I do have a pension)

I think she will be fine.

Money is about control. €600k is not very much, it won't last a lifetime, she is sensible to be money conscious. She needs to continue building wealth for the next 15 to 20 years, then she can relax.