Where are the trans men?

Well yeah, they do tend to identify themselves

https://terfisaslur.com

I’m curious. The trans widow I know of told her husband, who wanted to remain married to her despite the fact that he was calling himself a woman and dressing like their teenage DDs (🤮) that she couldn’t be married to him as she wasn’t a lesbian.

Transwomen are easier to identify and attack
That’s quite funny when you consider that it always seems to be trans women carrying placards with pictures of women being hanged/shouting about decapitating TERFS/threatening to piss everywhere or throwing bottles of piss around.

I don't know any transwomen. I know 3 transmen. Transwomen are easier to identify and attack, that's why you hear more about them. Men do accept transmen as men in my experience and have no issue with them being in 'men's spaces'.

Maybe? Does that matter? Personally I think sexuality is much more fluid than we sometimes acknowledge. Unlike sex which is binary, sexuality does seem more like a spectrum to me, with people who absolutely only ever feel sexual with one sex at the far ends and between them a whole spectrum from "wow, did not expect that!" to "mostly no, but then again.... sometimes yes" to "only in a threesome" to "hell yeah!"

You live in the Brighton area. This has probably skewed your perception of how this is perceived in the wider world.

Here are a few difficult issues that arise from allowing people to identify as the opposite to their own sex, which, let's not forget, was absolutely unknown as a concept until very recently:

Sport: most people can see that fairness is absolutely essential in sport. We have separate teams, competitions, records, medals and scholarships for female and male athletes so that the female athletes have some chance of winning and being recognised for their abilities. If they had to compete against male athletes, they would rarely even get into a team or squad, never mind win or break a record. This is because male puberty makes male bodies far more physically powerful than female bodies. Female bodies can do incredible things which male bodies can't do (pregnancy, childbirth, lactation), but because we have to develop and maintain a female reproductive system and for that we need female hormones (oestrogen, progesterone), we end up with smaller heart and lungs, less height, smaller hands and feet, less powerful muscles and wide hips, all of which means we can't run, jump, throw and hit things as powerfully as male athletes. Also, when it comes to contact sports it's physically unsafe for female athletes to compete with male athletes. One trans-identified male will potentially affect many, many female athletes, by putting some of them off altogether, by displacing others from getting a place on a team or a medal.

Prisons: more than 80% of violent crime is committed by males and almost all sexual crime is committed by males. Males with a trans identity retain a male pattern of offending, they don't have a low risk like females. This means that women in prison are very unlikely to be there for a violent offence and vanishingly unlikely to be there for a sexual offence. Research on women prisoners shows that most have experienced domestic and/or sexual abuse. Why should they be locked up with male offenders, who often are there for violent or sexual offences, because the male claims a female identity, in many cases only saying this after arrest?

Rape crisis services and refuges: here we have another group of women and girls who have been through traumatic experiences. Why should they be expected to share a safe space and confide their experiences with males? For many of them, it's known beyond any shadow of a doubt that that would compound the trauma, so a lot of them will just not seek help.

I could go on, but that's enough to start with.

Legally I am married to a man. Legally I have a husband. Call it whatever makes you happy.

Who I am married to doesn’t define my sexuality or does marriage suddenly render you gay or straight?

But it sounds like @KaitlynnFairchild wasn’t bisexual until she ended up married to a trans identitfying woman.

If you're attracted to both sexes, that makes you bisexual. Regardless of what sex you're with at the time.

Surely that's straightforward enough, without any need to bring 'gender identity' into it?

What? No, that doesn't add up. We can only marry one person at a time in the UK so married bisexual people are obviously going to have a spouse of one sex or the other. That might make them frustrated but it doesn't make them not bisexual!

I think it's hard to understand because as much as it's up to you what you want to call yourself, you are married to a woman, therefore you are in a lesbian marriage, which would make you a lesbian.

My BIL is naturally quite feminine for a bloke but that doesn't make my sister a lesbian.

So your spouse was a trans identifying woman when you met? Or did that come afterwards?

I was straight until I met my DH - I now consider myself to be bisexual because although my husband presents as male and I am attracted to him as a man, he is biologically female, therefore bisexual.

I don’t think it’s difficult to understand at all?

So they all told you? So they’re not actually wanting to be seen as men?

You were straight but in a relationship with someone female? How does that work?

There are loads of trans men. I’m a boring middle aged heterosexual woman and I know several. I’d say at least five. You would never in a million years guess they were trans. They are just ordinary school dad types. 🤷🏻‍♀️ No one feels weird or threatened by it, though if you are twitchy about gender (I’m not), you might be freaked out to find yourself sharing a loo with one. 😂

They aren't being deceived

The majority of transpeople I know are transmen, and yes I know a few

But this is clearly just a thinly veiled attempt to bash transwomen

Agreed. This would be much clearer.

oh and by masculinity I mean how he looks, his body, beard, muscles.

Personality wise he is the rom com loving, romantic stereotypically feminine one of the two of us.

I was straight, I now consider myself bisexual, I am attracted to my husbands masculinity but there is no denying he is biologically female. This doesn't bother me, therefore bisexual covers it best.

…if they knew… This is part of the problem, isn’t it, people don’t like to be deceived.

So were you a lesbian and now you’re straight? How does that work?