DDs "trans phase" ending?

FFS. Thank goodness MN did ignore it. There is too much shit being fed to young people nowadays through social media as it is.
It IS nonsense and hopefully will go the way of most trends and totally fuck off until the next load of shit turns up.
You are entitled to your opinion but so is everyone else. The majority of sane people know that you can't not change your biological sex.

I think we should challenge that poster to provide a sensible explanation (including proper meaningful definitions and logic) of trans ideology to back their claims.

Erm, what?

FFS get a grip on this bollocks. Are you a friend of the teen concerned by any chance? A lot of this rubbish is like a cult being fed to young people when they are still exploring who they are. They don't need this shit at any time but more so when they are impressionable.
Op is doing the right thing being there for her d as she should be.
Teens brains aren't fully wired at this stage of their lives and they will trot out all sorts of rubbish, She is being typical that she hates mum, the world and everyone in it.
She might well leave home when she is 18 but then there are plenty of young people who would like to. Until they realise the cost of housing, bills and general life expenses. Especially if they aren't working in a high paid job, very unlikely at 18.
Respect the name, but hang onto the fact that this is one of many phases that teens go through and most come out the other side. In time to come, will probably laugh at themselves and say what the fuck was I thinking?
Been there done that with myself and a d.

Glad they ignored your report.

It's called free speech.

This is bullshit.

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

She's flip flopping. She feels should put on a performance. She's trying to work out what kind of performance. She lacks the confidence to just be herself and thats ok.

She will come out the other side. The rate of desistance is very high.

I have a teen DD OP you are
doing great. Mine is ND and also very non conforming and my view was that I wasn’t sure if she was just a lesbian or it’s mainly the ND. (A lot of non conforming kids just turn out to be gay of course)

Telling her you love her, minimising the outbursts etc all top notch.

It might interest you to know that despite the vast reams of writing and many attempts to provide stable and meaningful definitions of words and concepts around trans ideology, coherence has never been achieved. Even Stonewall, one of the most invested trans charities, keeps changing its mind on key concepts.

Therefore we have to conclude that there is no sense to it - so it is non-sense.

OPs daughter was listening to bad actors who are happy for children to be harmed (binders etc) and who utilise parental alienation to achieve their aims. Thankfully OP has helped her daughter do what the vast majority of kids do and is growing up and will mature to be a happy, healthy and proud woman. Why would you think that’s ’appalling parenting’?

Have you actually read the thread which has several stories of teens who have gone through a trans phase and then back out the other side, and realised themselves it was all nonsense? Trans can indeed be nonsense, and I think the OP knows her child well enough to identify that

You’re handling the whole situation so well and I hope you’re Dd is now on the right track.

Generally when my DDs were teenagers and having meltdowns, to keep my cool I’d picture them as giant toddlers having a tantrum. It allowed me keep calm and think of something benign to move them on from their meltdown. It usually worked very well.

It was hot, she couldn’t sleep, my bed had the cat on it, and was just generally more comfortable, apparently.

That I did not think this should mean she got to sleep in my bed all night makes me the worst mum EVAH apparently 🤣

Quite.

She supported her, used her chosen name etc and has said she always loves her.

worrying about harmful
effects of binders at 14 is not abusive it’s bloody sensible they’re meant to be used post puberty!!

Well there has been a huge amount of “nonsense” and/or downright lies, put out by the likes of Stonewall etc to children.

The recent Supreme Court judgement is just one example of their “nonsense” being called out.

So “nonsense” is a very mild term to use.

Have you just arrived from 2018? Things have moved on, and now we are allowed to say that obvious social contagions are social contagions; and that people can’t and don’t ever change sex. Keep up!

"Being condescending" - how? By being an adult who has more life experience and a better understanding of the realities of transgenderism than a 12 or 14-year-old? Note: it’s called "parenting".

"Miffed the child is finding their own identity" - how insulting and totally unevidenced.

"Not yet sure who they are at the age of 14" - exactly! So why rush to affirm and reinforce what might be a passing phase, making it much more difficult for the child to change their mind again?

Have you read the 10:13 post from @ShoutOutLucile ? You should.

There seem to be a lot of people rocking up to this thread disappointed that the OP's clearly loving parenting has given her DD the opportunity to change her mind.

That sounds very deep rooted and not just about this one incident - before I’d got past the first few lines I was thinking this mum has something going on that would feel all consuming for a child - she would have likely reacted in this all consuming way to whatever the child was bringing , with possibly same outcome - likely history of merging with her children instead of supporting from sidelines

'Trans nonsense'. And the award for the most appalling parenting goes to...

I reported a similar comment earlier week and they ignored the report. What chance do we have as a free and equal country if such vile, transphobic comments are so commonplace and deemed to be totally acceptable by a platform as big as Mumsnet. Both the OP and anyone involved in the ownership and management of mumsnet should be ashamed of themselves.

The OP is very obviously giving her the space to explore her identity.

Dd has a friend who at 16 has a daily reminder of her now utterly embarrassing decision to change to her ‘trans’ name on the register. She has dropped all thoughts of being ‘trans’ but the school won’t change it back. They should never have changed it in the first place. 13 yr olds shouldn’t be allowed to make those decisions.

I would ask her why she thought women couldn't be anything they wanted to be? Masculine, feminine, strong, gentle, sporty, demure. And didn't she see that gender fluid was just...sexist? Because it implies women or men have to be a certain way to be women or men.

'Trans is one thing. But we've established you are not trans. So why do you need to give yourself a funny label? It basically just says you have internalised mysoginy Nickypoo, sorry'.

I think she is realising that identity is complex and not something that is about labels. The fact she is considering a formal female name makes me think that she does understand the difference between sex and gender and hopefully that you can be a female but have traditionally masculine clothes, hobbies and career. Dressing in a androgynous way is fashionable currently too.

fingers crossed for you op

Giving them space to work though this stuff - back and forth - while hard does seem best.

DD1 at uni now thinks her friends were difficult people and she no longer in any touch with them - and some of them have reverted back os so heard on grapevine. She doesn't mention her name now - though if she wants to change it she can now - she does now have tattoo and piercing - which 70+ MIl goes on and on how wonderful they are - not sure that's what she wanted.

Middle kids is sort of be kind but also eye rolls at a lot of it. Youngest 16 fed up with it all - eye rolling nonsense but she had drama in friednship group from kid in care weponisng trans/pronouncs and swapping back and forth.

OP, what’s the new school like?
The reason that I ask is that I’ve had a horrendous time with my 14 year old but I’ve moved her to a new school and just getting her away from a toxic culture/friend group has made a world of difference to her behaviour and attitude. They are so driven by the desire to fit in at that age.