DDs "trans phase" ending?

I hope as she matures she will understand she is her self and doesn't need to label herself. You did really well talking her out of chest binders. She knows she's loved and you accept her for herself and she'll probably come through this stage. I was a teacher at a secondary school for many years and I've seen other girls get pressured by peers to be trans and eventually they left school and reverted to being female. I saw one of these girls not long so long ago with a baby. She called to me Miss come and see my baby. I didn't recognise her at first until she spoke. She'd grown her hair and was with a man who was clearly the Dad of her baby. At school this girl virtually had a shaved head, wore a chest binder and we all had to call her a male name.

Have you got much experience of adolescent children?

This thread is about a teenage girl, facing the challenges of growing into adulthood, and her mother, who loves her, and wants to support her and keep her safe. As parents have always done.

The OP has been answered by a variety of people, of different ages and life experiences - I suspect mostly women - taking time and care to help give advice because they want the best outcome for that child and her family.

And for you it is just 'a laugh'.

You have made it quite clear the care you take of people. What was it I said earlier, about #bekind.

@StarStay please do report any discriminatory comments, I think you’ll find that as a bunch us MNers have a huge amount of respect for the hard working @MNHQ moderators.

As someone saie up thread you’re assuming none of us have any experience of trans people. You really are very far off the mark.

Have I missed "authentic self"? That’s on my card!

I can just picture you, chin raised, thinking you are bold and progressive, bravely and nobly battling the wicked TERFs. In fact, of course, trans ideology is totally regressive because of its reliance on outdated stereotypes, and you just look silly.

What would really be progressive would be everyone agreeing that people should be able to dress, present, behave however they want, without having to deny that they are whichever sex they (immutably, in every cell of their body) are.

You have no idea whether or not I or anyone else knows people who say they are trans or non-binary (as it happens, I do), so I suggest you stop being so self-righteous and judgemental. And stop encouraging confused children and teenagers, who are by definition immature, to make decisions that would be difficult to undo.

Yes. That really does sum it up. Parents, listening to their children (who they know), offering them space. Actually acknowledging that life can be full of complexity, but ultimately they love their children. It really is just an ideological playground and one big 'laugh' to people like you.

FWIW: two people in my circle have daughters who identified themselves as "trans".

Both have been in this state for 2-3 years. Over that period of time the parents have played it pretty much as you have with the "that's nice dear" approach, accepting what the child tells them about their identity with minimal drama but guardedly warning them of the risks of puberty blockers and that whole shit-show.

Both kids have significantly walked back their position on this in the past year or so. One who had changed her name to a boy's name and was asking her GP for puberty blockers is now saying she isn't interested in transitioning and just wants to be identified as a boy but in a girl's body (though so far s/he has kept the boy's name). The mum told me recently that s/he had voluntarily filled in university application forms with her "female "birth name.

The other still identifies as "trans" but has kept her female name and to all intents and purposes still presents as a girl, albeit one with a masculine style and dress sense.

This is obviously anecdata and an n of 2 but I do get the sense that this has become less of an appealing fashion statement for this generation. Some of the public discourse may have made it through, maybe they've just moved onto the next thing, whatever that may be.

I think there will continue to be children for whom gender dysmorphia makes their life a prison and in very extreme circumstances there will remain a place for them to be helped to fully transition but I think a lot of the marginal "trendiness" around it has subsided as the penny has dropped about what a radical and potentially harmful journey they are embarking on.

Obviously I can't tell what will happen to your DD but I think there's every chance she will come to the same conclusion.

😂😂😂😂😂

4/10

very poor effort at a drive by scolding. Off to Reddit with you.

What is transphobia?

I'm not replying anymore on this thread because obviously it's pointless on a site like this and a complete waste of my time. But don't worry I'll probably read all the responses at some point and have a laugh.

Anyone else finding that the words “transphobic” and “transphobe” are starting to sound very silly indeed these days, especially when they come as a flounce?

”Meanie parent on a meanie forum full of meanies, yah boo sucks to you!”

You think you are the ONLY person on this thread who is friends with and knows multiple non-binary and trans people.

Newsflash: you are not.

You know that song from the Lego movie 'everything is awesome', TRAs should adopt it and adapt it to 'everything is transphobic'. It's on that level.

Of course you did

Of course you are

Of course you do

and of course you don’t explain why you think the OP deserves your utterly appalling comment.

Grow up.

OP - you’ve been doing the right things.

Some people will hang onto this ideas all their lives, that's their choice.
Just as I still wear band t shirts from 35 years ago.and have bright blue hair It's no big deal, I don't feel the need to broadcast the fact I'm straight either.
Opnions are open to all it's a free country to speak out.

So called 'allies' who do nothing but scold and try and drive a wedge and emotionally blackmail parents in a coercive manner to affirm only show themselves up.

They are ghoulish abusers who don't care about the best interests of that person - particularly if they are a child.

It happens over and over.

I have noticed it more and more and made a point of supporting parents and other relatives in this crazy dynamic.

Always look at behaviour NOT identity.

People virtue signally only care about their identity as an ally and their image. They do NOT care about those they claim to care about.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Honestly, I'd be drawing up a list of possible names that fit her description. You are supporting your child, they feel supported and the bonus is they are no longer called Moth (or other version). Wins all around.
I think what you have said makes sense: no need to make a decision and have a label, just be you. Lovely message.
Just be careful about the coming out of a 'phase' comment as that can be seen negatively, it isn't a phase for some. Today's generation are just more aware and question these things, it's good that your child questions and is strong of mind to lead their own path (one day it'swork in their benefit instead of just making your day tricky haha!). Being a teen is horrible really, and in today's age i think there a lot of challenges to overcome that we never faced.

It is notable that the majority of comments on this thread is full of love and support for the op. That there is sensible advice and encouragement.

Apart from two posters. Who seem intent on scolding us women for the advice and support being given.

Says it all in my opinion.

Thank you. I only needed some kind of variation of "I have loads of trans friends" with the associated assumption that you are the only person who knows anyone trans, to complete my bingo card.

Because she’s 14.

I made my comment in full expectation to get the sort of responses I have on this website. I am friends with multiple non-binary and trans people (adults who have been in that "phase" for 15+ years) who I respect and listen to. I suggest you should try that sometime, not that any of you will ofc.

I stand by my comment.

I actually think your post is quite deserving of the 'trans nonsense' title. Hyperbolic, petty, snide.