DDs "trans phase" ending?

Oh absolutely, understood. It wasn't a dig at you. Sounds like you are dealing with it all more patiently than I'd manage!

That sounds positive @MutedMavis. Parenting can be so challenging. It's enraging to see toxic people threatening and blaming parents when they come on here seeking support.
I think things are changing - not just because of the clear evidence of harm done to the young caught up in this, the Cass Review & the clarity / sanity of the Supreme Court judgment. But also on display is the complete lack of empathy, care and compassion from transactivists & lobby groups.
They don't care about the wellbeing of the young, but openly use them for their own ends, persuading them to criticise and abandon their families.. When you've worked with marginalised young people, the data is stark about the harm done to all aspects of their lives from being alienated from their family - educational and life chance data on young people in care of the state is grim.

To encourage parental alieanation to the young is a dreadful thing to do and it's good to see parents pushing back.

@MrsOvertonsWindow i agree. Mine was moving out at 18. She tried halls for a year and now commutes.

I'm a long time poster on this subject but name change due to abuse.
I not a TRA or a transphobe just a mum trying to help my DD.
Humour works too.
My daughter picked a boys name which can be either. I shortened it to something funny. She's OK with that. It's hard OP but be vigilant and my best advice is don't ban friends who may be LGBT. Most of my DDs are now back to their biological self.

Great thread - thank you OP. So important for parents to see that there's nothing phobic or unkind about being an adult and parenting with boundaries for teenagers - even when they push against them.

It's interesting that the OP's DD says she'll move out in 4 years. Promoting parental alienation runs through trans ideology like a stick of rock - just as demonstrated by @StarStay's first comment.* Framing parents as worthy of rejection or threatening parents that your child will reject you if you don't affirm is always* their tedious mantra. It's so good see so many posters (who are evidently parents or who care about children's welfare) picking that comment out for legitimate criticism.

@Indesperationrightnow

@GargoylesofBeelzebub you've both referenced being on the spectrum and non binary/ trans as connected. Do you have any idea if this pattern is due to a struggle to fit in or is there some genuine biological link between the two? I'm curious as I have children with autism and I would like to know a bit more about how to handle these issues if they arise.

You seem to be handling things well OP. I think if she finally says I'm a woman who is gay/straight, try to maintain your quiet support and not say 'thank goodness you've given up on that nonsense!' She could rebel against you again. Stories like @ShoutOutLucile are worrying, being too enthusiastic can backfire. Quiet non judgmental support all the way is best. My dd is a little younger and I dread those inbetween teen years.

At no point have I lied about what I think. I've just avoided expressing strong opinions which might lead my child to assume that I will never accept her choices, or to avoid talking to me about her thoughts.

It doesn't matter what she/he/they are, what matters is that your child should NOT be talking like that to you.

Please don't just sit there and take it.

Apart from being grumpy to her mum, she sounds like a sensible young lady OP.

Incidentally, wouldn't it be useful if we had a word for penis people and vagina people ...

You're doing great OP. I suspect a lot of her anxieties about the school move are leading to her lashing out at you.

About 1/3rd of my DS's friendship group has tried out a trans identity including a range of crazy names to go with it. They're all clearly on the spectrum and trying to find their way.

Now they're all nearly 18, one by one they are reverting to their original names.

It's really not considered cool at their school.

Exactly!

Well said.

I knew people who were old skool transsexuals 30 years ago. None of them declared themselves to actually be women (nor expected others to pretend they were). They were men who preferred a feminine aesthetic and weren't masculine men. But, even then, what it meant to 'live as a woman' was still based on stereotypes. They paid men to do their decorating and men to change the oil in their cars when women were just getting on with it and doing it themselves.

I know several trans/non binary people now and there is not a single one whose belief isn't predicated on regressive stereotypes or who doesn't make sure those stereotypes are represented/presented in every aspect of their life (as far as they have control over it). After all, what else would separate them from everyone else who occupies their sex class?

There's a fair bit of trauma and homophobic bullying in their pasts or just a sense that they don't fit into what a 'man' or a 'woman" is supposed to be or a desire to escape the current societal pressures placed on women to look a certain way - eg exaggerated female charactersitcs - big boobs, lots of make up, long hair, sexualised clothing.

In a conversation with one 'non-binary'person, where I was saying I was no different to her but I'd just accepted it as part of my personality and individual difference (namely that I don't wear make up, don't have long hair, do drink beer and have a couple of stereotypically male hobbies/interests) and she told me that I was actually just also non-binary and in denial.

Utter nonsense.

The scolding ploppers get tiresome on these threads.
OP, just keep supporting your daughter without affirming. Hopefully she’ll come through this phase and one day be able to look back and cringe at herself.
Because, let’s be honest, we all remember being a teen and wishing that your older self could have a strong word with your young ideological self.

I work in an education setting and the social contagion is very very strong with the trans/non-binary ideology especially amongst children on the spectrum, and not massively helped by schools who go out of their way to indulge it. Equally, a significant number of children do seem to grow out of it. OP I think you have handled it really well

Oh for goodness sake... Really?🙄

This must be a competitor for the most stupid post ever .

If that is really your take on the original post, what a strange person you must be, totally lacking in empathy with a parent doing their best in a difficult situation and looking for support in parenting a teenager. I don’t think this is the right site for you.

It’s an anonymous forum. A cynic would think you are trying to shut down conversation about this topic

We all listened to my cousin's child when she said she was trans. My cousin affirmed her, supported her social transition and her desire to go on testosterone.

Several years later, she has detransitioned, but suffering from long term health issues from her time taking T.

We all now know that a little more skepticism at the time would have been preferable.

Well said.

That post was an absolute disgrace.

She's not posting "for strangers to mock", she's posting for advice, support and a sounding board. As I'm sure you know, you're just looking for a fight.

Why are you posting about your child online for strangers to mock?? It kind of undermines the message of love and support you say you have given.