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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not eat food I don't enjoy?

54 replies

Frequency · 27/06/2025 07:59

I genuinely do not know if AIBU. I accept that I am being ridiculous. I also understand that my attitude towards food is probably not healthy.

My mother has taken it upon herself to start buying me groceries. I don't ask for it and I don't know why she is doing it. She says it is to help me because I am busy and stressed with my new (I am busy I am not stressed, I am enjoying my new role)

The problem is she is buying food I don't especially like or enjoy, and then she gets upset when I don't eat it.

I have tried telling her I don't like the food she is buying. She got annoyed that she was wasting money. I have tried thanking her and pretending I like the food she buys, but then she will root through the freezer and find it uneaten, or she will see the kids eating it and get upset.

I have tried saying yes when she asks me what I want and being very specific and explaining that whilst other things are very similar I do not like the similar things I only like the ones I ask for (think frozen ready meals vs fresh ready meals or porridge you cook in a pan vs those instant pots) She will find something else on offer and get that instead. I have tried offering her money for the food so she can buy what I actually like without feeling like she has to find things on offers, but she refuses to accept it.

She is now not speaking to me after offering to call into a shop she was passing that she knows sells protein bars I like. I insisted on giving her the money for them because, as far as chocolate goes, these are expensive.

When she dropped them off, I thanked her and said I didn't have any left because DD had melted my last one by accident after putting a hot kettle right next to the box I usually keep them in, and I don't like them after they have melted and reset because the texture changes. She then told me she had carried them on top of hot pizza Hmm
I didn't get annoyed (or I didn't show I was annoyed), I laughed and told her it was fine. DD likes them when they are melted; she will eat them. She left without speaking to me, and then I was inundated with text messages about how I don't appreciate her and she is only trying to help, and why am I making it so difficult for her?

Bear in mind, I am not asking for any of this food. I keep telling her to stop buying me food because of how fussy I am. I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do. How do I get her to stop?

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 27/06/2025 08:03

I agree it's odd. If you can't have an honest conversation with your own DM and she can't actually listen to you and take on board your very reasonable requests then I don't know what the answer is.

She says she wants to help you but it's not helpful to buy things you don't want and ignoring you when you say to either not buy it or buy things you do want instead.

Does this seem typical of her, or 'off' in some way?

Frequency · 27/06/2025 08:03

Hotchocbombe · 27/06/2025 07:59

This is very very very odd

I know it is. I don't understand why she is so fixated on bringing me groceries. I am perfectly capable of doing my own grocery shopping.

OP posts:
Hotchocbombe · 27/06/2025 08:02

Do have a history of eating disorders and your mother is concerned?

Hotchocbombe · 27/06/2025 07:59

This is very very very odd