To no longer attend Wedding’s when only invited to the evening

I've got a different attitude to nights out than most on here, so I'm happy with an invite to an opening of an envelope. I wouldn't necessarily want to go to a all day wedding. I look forward to a night in a hotel, so will travel. If it's in a ridiculously expensive venue, take your own bottle in a bottle bag.

Yup this, plus if people don’t get invited to the evening do then they’ll be kicking off on here saying they’re offended. Couples can’t really win either way. It all seems really self absorbed, if want to go then go but if you don’t fine, just don’t make an unnecessary fuss about it.

Depends on how well you know the bride or groom. Completely understand if its family and close friends for the whole thing and just work colleagues or mates evening only.

It used to be something you did to invite friends of the couple, like friends from work, who arrvied together with lots of other friends having likely already had fun together before arriving. They were likely the people the couple would rather have a party with but they had to invite Aunt Hilda and Mildred for fear of offending them and extended family. All fair enough! But now couples have destination weddings (countries away or at least bloody hours away from their home) and despite being much older when getting wed can’t afford to have who they think they should have at their wedding.

I have attended one evening portion once but wouldn’t ever do it again. Arrived at a suitable time after the evening invite stipulated but the friggin speeches weren’t done and folk were still sat down. So had to loiter at the bar bit awkwardly waiting for the evening part to actually finish. Awkward and it cost absolutely as much as attending the whole day as I didn’t wear anything less than I would have worn if invited for the whole thing and had travel and accommodation just the same. Have received a saved the date and have a hunch it’s for the evening thing as it’s the sister of the person who invited me to the evening portion and haven’t even bothered to actually save the date. Not even remotely interested to repeat the experience.

If you don’t want to attend anymore that’s fine and up to you, I really doubt the couple will care unless you’re close family or a close friend, and in that case you wouldn’t be invited to just the evening do. Will you get offended if people catch on and stop inviting you to evening dos?

Honestly, as someone currently wedding planning, if you don’t want to go, decline and let the couple invite others.

We are having some evening guests, mostly work friends, extended family. It’s not that we don’t want them there or they’re not important - if we could invite everyone all day we would, but we can’t, so the next best thing is an evening invite.

They’ll be fed generously, there’s a decent band, they’ll know others and the drinks aren’t any more expensive than a night in the city, We’d love them to be part of our celebration but if they don’t want to or can’t then we’ll understand.

The couple won’t be tying themselves in knots about what you think of the “tier” of their invite so it’s a waste of energy for you to, just RSVP either way!

Either have a smaller wedding and invite everybody to everything, or go for cheaper venues so you can invite everybody to the whole thing.

two-tier weddings are incredibly tacky.

If it's a couple of miles away and we don't need to pay for a baby sitter I might, but not spending loads or travelling a long way for an evening only.

I wouldn't travel for an evening do but I will happily go to local ones its the best part id be well pleased I could skip the church and the speeches

If you don't want to go, don't go - you don't have to.

Make an excuse. Don’t go.

We had one of these a few years ago when DH was DP. He worked with the groom so he was invited to the day and I was invited for just the evening. I completely respect B & G’s choices but equally I didn’t want to get into two sets of arrangements so didn’t attend my invite.

I love an evening invite too. I find most weddings very dull; there’s always so much waiting around. The ideal is to go somewhere for an early dinner with some fellow evening invitees, have a few drinks and then join the wedding for the dancing + cake.

I think if you live nearby then it’s nice to be able to pop by and enjoy the evening. If I was expected to travel and pay for accommodation I would be less keen. I was invited to just the evening once and it was horrible. Everyone was really drunk and I felt like I’d really missed out on the main celebration.

I used to love an evening invite to a friends wedding when I was a teenager/early twenties, lots of friendship group/or work colleagues (we were a very young team) would all show up together and we’d all get pissed have a good time.

As an older adult, I will usually politely decline as they really dull as a standalone part of the day.

Only on mumsnet do I see people being offended at just being invited to the evening part of the wedding.

I have been to local evening dos and enjoyed them. We were fed proper food and then went home to bed. I wouldn't travel and pay for a hotel for one though.

Oh and we stated no gifts!

The evening part of most couple’s weddings is my personal version of hell. I typically leave as I can get away with. The noise, the dancing, the small talk. It’s everything I hate in life. The only good part of a typical wedding is the earlier bits. I like the calm, peaceful parts where you can actually talk to people. I’ve been this way since I was as a child attending weddings. Hooray for long ceremonies, speeches, and chicken. Omg, they are playing music, can we go home now. No point in an evening only invite to me.

DH and I did a wedding that suited our personalities. That was one I was happy to stay until the end.

We invited work colleagues and friends from choir to the evening but it was close by, many were in walking distance even. We also invited everyone to the church service plus cake and prosecco. We had a free bar all evening and decent food. The sit down meal was only close family and old friends from out of town who all were staying in hotels

I've never felt like that when invited to an evening do. I don't assume I wasn't important enough to be invited to the meal, just that there are extra people the couple know who they would like to invite to one part of the day. It's pretty much a separate party. It's nice to be invited.

It's usually when you are as close to the couple, like a work colleague so being there for the whole day might be a bit odd but there's a less intimate bit of the day starting after 7.30 that more people are welcome to.

I've never understood the offence it causes.

If anyone had the temerity to invite me to an evening only reception, I’d automatically decline. I’m not a second rate guest.

But, it seems an old fashioned thing now. I don’t think many, if any, have evening guests nowadays - they just invite everyone to the whole thing.

I don’t mind an evening invite but wouldn’t travel more than an hour for just an evening invite.

an evening invite means you don’t have the faff of hanging about, waiting on all he photos and speeches etc but still get a party out of it.

personally we couldn’t afford 100 day guests so had 40 family during the day and invited extended family and friends for the party at night time. No one complained though the hotel was in the next village to where we lived, so nice and handy.

If I was close I’d go, if it’s an overnight stay I’d think twice.

I’m happy with an evening invite; unless I know lots of people at a wedding then I find the all day aspect of it a bit much so an evening invite suits me better. I think whether you’re there all day or just the evening you rarely get much time with the couple anyway