To no longer attend Wedding’s when only invited to the evening

Doesn’t bother me if it’s local, it’s still a rare night out. We had everyone for the whole day though, but only about 45 guests total.

Surely the issue is add-ons - kids, relatives partners etc.

It's an invitation not a summons.

So different people like different things. I am getting married (again) in 2 years and I cannot afford a large enough venue to host absolutely everyone all day.
so we have around 90 people to the day and another 65 to the party in the evening. We will be feeding everyone and laying on the entertainment but staying absolutely no gifts whatsoever. We have everything we need and plenty we don’t need so please no more.
If people choose not to come then that is their prerogative and it won’t affect our relationship

I don't attend evening do's, feels like you haven't made the A team and have been relegated to the B team.
Otoh I hate weddings, I actually groan out loud if I'm invited to a wedding.
Pain in the arse and usually expensive when you add up a gift, an outfit, travel, hotel, drinks etc.
I'm a miserable bugger really 😕

If you want to invite 120 people to your wedding but only want to pay for a reception/meal for 60 then compromise. Have the reception at a cheaper venue and make it less lavish. For example buffet in a hired hall. To do otherwise is what I'd call "fur coat and no knickers".

I just love the party! It doesn't bother me.

Yeah I agree (mostly.) I will generally only go to an evening do if...

A) It's less than 15 miles away.

B) I am not very close to the bride and groom - just like neighbours or colleagues.

Otherwise no.

I just dont get it we had ceremony and dinner one invitation, this multi event thing I get if you are royalty us mere mortals just have a wedding

No i wouldn't go to an evening event thing only as what is the point?

I went to a wedding in March and the bride didn't speak to anybody. I waved as my daughter and I were going off to bed. She didn't wave back!

I'd much rather be going to the evening do ! So much faffing !!

My rule with Evening Do’s has always been, if it’s in my home city and not far to travel, ie same distance Id travel for a normal night out/meal/theatre, then great, I’ll be there with bells on. But if it’s somewhere further out and I have to pay for overnight accommodation or a really pricey taxi, then I probably won’t go.

So do I!!

I hate that they are dying out. No stress about what to wear, not as much pressure for huge gift

You clearly don’t like the party bit of a wedding. It’s fine, some people don’t like the “dance and drinking” type of socialising. I assume you’re one of those people who if they’re invited all day won’t stay much beyond the first dance, not the ones still on the dance floor at 1am.

It’s ok to know you don’t like some things and decline them when invited. Rarely “evening only” invites are close family/friends, so it’s not like you’re close enough to be missed.

Of course you're not unreasonable to go to something you aren't particularly interested in.

I don't mind an evening invite. I love an all day one too. In most unmmumsnetty fashion I always enjoy weddings and look forward to them.

I always assume that evening guests are the after thoughts. Work colleagues, neighbours, parents friends'. Or distant relatives. Good enough to invite for a gift but not good enough to spend money on entertaining for the day event. Hence I always send a polite decline and don't give it a second thought.

Totally agree. I don’t do two tier weddings - I get invited to the whole thing or don’t go - the couple clearly aren’t bothered, and it’s generally a bit of effort and money if not local, etc.

I didn't have any evening only guests at my wedding. If they're not important enough to be invited to see the actual marriage I'm not bothered about them being there for the evening.

I’ve never gone to wedding where I was only invited to the evening

It sounds like you're peeved not to be invited to the day event.

Yanbu to skip it.

I would be happy to go to an evening do providing easy enough to get to, I had something to wear and I wanted to see the people there.

It's also good if you don't know so many people (e.h. DH work friends) if there's decent hospitality. Over the years highlights have been free bar, hog roast, bacon sandwiches at 11pm, sweet trolley, cute gift bags with home made gin and honey. Sigh I love a good wedding.

Its also good when standard beige buffet with enough food, and cheesy disco. Absolutely classic.

I had a church ceremony-only wedding invitation from my aunt which I thought was very odd given we got on so well, and she’d been at my whole wedding a year earlier. It would have been 7-hour round trip to attend it so I politely declined citing childcare issues and she’s never spoken to me since.

There was definitely a reception afterwards and other family were invited (saw all the Facebook photos), but 3 of us all got ceremony-only. I’ve heard of evening only but never ceremony-only (and as it was in a church I think legally anyone can attend).

I agree.

I’d never just go to an evening do - a lot of effort to go to party you weren’t on the A list for.

I really don't like weddings. I'd much rather just rock up to the evening do and skip all the waiting around, sitting through speeches and having to dress up in something that makes me feel like I'm in drag.

Evening dos are perfect for nice work friends where you couldn’t possibly invite them all but you don’t want to leave people out. At my work we all love going to each other’s evening dos.

This! Isn’t the evening the fun part? Especially if it’s a free bar. The actual wedding is boring, who cares about that bit apart from the bride and groom? I mean I’m not big on weddings anyway so unless I really liked the couple I’d decline but if I had a choice I’d pick the evening every time.