AIBU for attending show with male friend?

This.

I voted YABU fir nit binning off your fiance who will cause you s life if misery and STI checks. I'd advise you to block, delete and get tested

So if the friend you went out with had been female would he still have a problem, definitely dump him, you hardly know him after one year

Please don't say you're actually going to marry him??

What don’t you get?

He has you in the bag so now he is looking for the next challenge

If you want a great life , don’t marry this man .

This has miserable life written all over it. Walk away now before children are involved.

This ^

A smart woman would realise that if she accepts this behaviour now, that worse WILL follow as she'd be indirectly telling him that she'd accept him cheating. If he cared he wouldn't be giving other women his number.

I'd bet the "worse" things he's referring to are him fully cheating and getting caught!

What is wrong with you? How are you not telling him to fuck off with that nonsense? He’s at least attempting to cheat on you and has essentially told you that he will eventually cheat on you and you will be expected to ‘fight’ for your relationship. And you still haven’t broken up with him.

If you stay with him, you deserve what you get, tbh. At a certain point, you have to take responsibility for the garbage you allow in your life.

No a smart woman would have already dumped him.

Here are some questions to consider:

• How do you feel right now? How do you feel knowing that you may feel this way several more times in the future?
• Do you feel like you can openly talk about these issues without either of you getting defensive?
• What does marriage mean to you? Is it a lifelong, monotonous commitment to each other or is it just a legal connection?

My DH comes home from work excited to see me and DC each night. We can talk openly about our insecurities and hurts with it (usually) not turning into an argument. We are honest with our failings, quick to acknowledge when we've stuff up, and quick to forgive. He's amazing, but he's not some rare gem of a man - this should just be the standard of a good partner and the type of partner that all people deserve. Never let a partner make you think otherwise.

It may be hard thinking you've "wasted time" on a relationship. But if you settle for sub-par, then eventually your love and passion for life will be chipped away at and you'll waste years were you could have found happiness.

You’re asking the wrong question

If you don't know to bin this guy, then gey some help

What’s your question. This guy is a scumbag. You caught him out but he’s going to blame you for what. He’s disgusting. This won’t get better. If he’s treating you like this before you’re married, you are in for a horrible life so move on. Get rid of this scum of the earth. He’s not for you.

So OP, have enough people told you to dump him, that you're now convinced and are going to do so?

OR

Are you going to believe his bullshit that he wasn't going to contact them, blah, blah, and carry on to marry him, only to find a few months after the wedding that you're back here again, asking 'why did he do this to me?'

YABU to have not immediately dumped him upon finding the messages. Wanker.

This guy is a liar, a cheat, a manipulator, and he's love bombing you.

His last marriage ended because of his awful behaviour.

Why on earth have you not already dumped this utter prick?

You would be CRAZY to marry this guy.

Same here!

He hasn't changed. You have concrete evidence of that. People don't spontaneously change, it takes a lot of intention and hard work. He absolutely was trying to cheat by communicating with women on a dating site and for all you know he has cheated. Who knows how many dating profiles he has or if he has shagged women he met at work? Save yourself a world of hurt and let him go. Don't bother about why he does it. He most likely doesn't have some deep, dark reason and it doesn't matter if he does. Even if he wasn't a cheater you should never, ever marry a man with controlling, unreasonably jealous tendencies. These are classic red flags for potential abuse.

The good people at Chumplady.com can help. One of Chumplady's taglines is "trust that they suck." Your fiance sucks. You deserve better.

YABU if you haven't dumped this man. He's awful, and you'd be mad to continue a relationship with him.

He’s sorry he got caught out and if you still consider marrying him you’re a fool. He doesn’t want you to go to the gig because he assumes every guy behaves like he would behave (which in itself is a red flag) but more so how dare he even complain when he literally lied to you about dating other women.

On the plus side, he's shown you who he really is before you get married. He's given you the silent treatment and is guilt tripping you over you going out with a friend (you're entitled to have friends of the opposite sex), when he's clearly still active on dating sites. Get rid and breathe a sigh of relief that this hasn't turned into an even darker, more disturbing relationship than it already is. You're worth more than that.

Get rid of him. Now 😀

Oooh yes, what if WORSE things happen, like he shags around, has a long affair, gives you an STI, gets another woman pregnant and when you protest he doesn’t speak to you for a month, or maybe 6 months?

Is that what he means by something worse might happen? And the kind of thing you should be able to overcome?

He sounds truly horrible,

He will never be faithful.

He thinks it is your fault if you can’t ‘overcome’ your reaction to his lack of basic respect , and he thinks he can do what he likes and sort it out with a bunch of flowers.

Get rid. Now.

Come on @CrossingBoundaries007 .