New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

Yes it is inappropriate (unless you work in a cocktail bar?) No, he shouldn’t be looking but to me that is inappropriate. I used to work with someone who’d show off a lot of cleavage and even as a straight woman I didn’t know where to look, as you couldn't miss it!

That top is totally inappropriate for work and for a school function. There are millions of tops available to buy, you don't need to wear ones that show your cleavage unless you want to show it off. If you want to show it off then you can only expect people to look.
My daughter -in-law has very large breasts, she wears fitted clothes but in the more than a decade I've known her I have never seen her cleavage, so it's perfectly possible to have nice clothes that aren't revealing.

If it bothers you, find less revealing tops - it really isn't difficult.

The cleavage is visible, people are going to look. If you don’t want people looking, keep it covered.

My workplace had a woman who wore tight see-thru tops, no bra. No one was comfortable around her - I guess it was all our problem - both men and women. It was a challenge not to look at her nipples - they were there, all the time. It was too bad for her because her clothing made others not look at her at all or keep distant.

I’ve no idea what this Woman was thinking about when she got dressed for work. Maybe “I work best in sheer tops” or “My visible nipples demonstrate my work ethic and commitment to teamwork,”

My opinion, people will look at what you have put out there for the world to see. If you are not happy for people to see your cleavage, make it invisible. Don’t blame people for looking at what you are wearing - whether it’s sheer, or low cut, tight, or short.

No, you’re still not getting it are you? I don’t know whether you’re deliberately choosing to not understand or just can’t understand. But I’ll explain as simple as I can:

The comment which you replied to I wasn’t talking about ops top, I was replying to another commenter’s post, about her own top. So again, I’m not talking about ops top, understand? I already said that ops top was unprofessional. So you keep bringing up ops top proves you haven’t read what I wrote or the thread. I’m agreeing that the top is not suitable for work, but here you are banging on something about hooters when you’ve misread my post 🫢

People should not stare - but I definitely would not be wearing that at work. I don't think it is appropriate.

I've reached the age where my cleavage is crepey, so I try not to display it.
It's not professional to have one's wares on show. It's most distracting for folk.

It obviously depends on your work. Typically if it’s a non public facing, and fairly relaxed (as in denim and tattoos are fine) environment then yeah it’s fine. A barmaid in a pub then fine but it would invite attention. If it’s anything public facing, working with children or fairly formal in attire then it’s very inappropriate. That however is a separate issue to him- inappropriate or not he’s not an animal and can choose to exercise self-control when it comes to behaving like a complete pervert. Edit- Sorry I’ve just seen your last two photos. The ones on the model are completely inappropriate. Yours- just about ok but again depends on the role. Cleavage at all in most workplaces wouldn’t be acceptable. Camisole is needed if it can’t be helped.

I probably woulda

Yes. It's inappropriate for work.

I have dealt with this all my working life . I find if you look at them directly they tend to stop as makes them uncomfortable.
And they work in a office often and that is completely appropriate and you show cleavage because like me you are a bigger size . That’s neither a bad thing or something to hide .

true, OP hasn't specified if she works at Hooters or a similar establishment, then indeed the top, with either cleavage, would probably be work appropriate.

It’s hard to tell since the pic isn’t the op and tops look radically different. I wear some stuff that is wrap or v neck, but on me the concern is that it not gape too much as pretty much all you can see is sternum. I wear a cami under wrap dresses or theyd be too gapy.
op, irrespective of top he shouldn’t have been staring and you’re fully entitled to say - the screen is that way or bob is talking not my boobs. Or speak to your manager. BUT, I’m in corporate and I don’t see cleavage, not even in the young single EAs who dress well, they might wear short suits and show legs but no cleavage. And none of the more senior women ever. Both of these statements can be true at once.

If you haven’t noticed this is a thread, people add to the discussion, that’s how this works didn’t you know? I’ll explain, another poster, not op shared a picture of her in two tops from the POV a of a woman with large breast, both pictures are ok for work, highlighting she has cleavage but not to the extent that op pictures showed. Get it now?

I was being facetious. I mean, how would one leave their breasts at home?

I would probably stare at a man wearing a t-shirt with a deep V. Not appropriate at work.

And that has is relevant how? Nipples show through shirts from both men and women. Get over it.

Well my female gay colleague used to vocally point out my breasts sitting at our desks telling me how amazing they were - the men were in shock and the women laughed. I felt so exposed. This was in around 2007 though.

I’m referring to the pp who posted a picture to compare the two tops. Maybe read the thread first love.

I guess you missed we are discussing if this top is appropriate for work. If you can't help spilling out of a top because of top's design, a solution could be to wear a different top to work.

So many strange women commenting.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in that top.
I don’t understand why so many seem to think cleavage is a bad thing to see!!!

Fuck my life! Sometimes it feels like we as a society are getting worse not better.

You could have been wearing a see through bikini and he shouldn’t have been staring.

We are told at work to wear clothes that you can't see down, up or through. I think that's generally sage advice for a work environment.

I’m referring to the pp who posted a picture to compare the two tops. Maybe read the thread first love.

You've also responded to one part/sentence of my post but not the others? Not that you need to, obviously, but it's also something that irritates me.

I don't think cleavage is suitable for most working environments. And while the top is nice, that's not what you're asking here. The top draws attention to and highlights the wearer's breasts, particularly their cleavage.

I hated men looking at mine, especially at work. (I once had a horrific experience with David Walliams staring down my top). My solution, to never wear anything that revealed any flesh below the collarbone. Yes, that's extreme, but men stare. They should know better but many do not. I felt my only way to control the situation was to keep myself covered up.

The irony is of course I surrendered both breasts when I discovered I had breast cancer. They were fabulous. I now wish I'd shown them off far more than I did. Even so, I still would have covered myself at work. Outside of work would have been different!