Page 7 | New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

dtarer · 2025-06-26T18:29:23+00:00

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut. I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring. his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable. I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow. I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

NattyFox · 27/06/2025 08:44

It's one thing to have a quick look if someone has cleavage but sounds like he was OTT.

HermioneWeasley · 27/06/2025 08:35

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Yes. IMO you should have a vest/camisole underneath that, it’s too low cut.

obviously your colleague shouldn’t be staring, but that’s inappropriate dress IMO

MC846 · 27/06/2025 08:33

He absolutely shouldn't have been staring but I don't think that too is appropriate for work though tbh.

Paganpentacle · 27/06/2025 08:31

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:40

I get that people give it a two second look sometimes, that’s natural. This guy was just staring for ages though.

Did you not ask him outright why he was staring at your tits?

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 27/06/2025 08:11

Ivy888 · 27/06/2025 06:31

It is a beautiful, flattering top. But not appropriate for work. No matter how casual people are dressed at your work. It’s too deep cut and the styling pulls all the attention to the cleavage. This is a top for going out.

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The black top is awful. What's "flattering" about it? Presumably the point of wearing something like that is to show off your breasts? Is there a permitted length of time for anyone looking at them to look at them?

Valeriekat · 27/06/2025 07:15

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 19:41

i dont think cleavages are suitable at work

Stick 2 large toy eyes on your chest and tell him that seems to be the only way to get him to look you in the eye!

BarBellBarbie · 27/06/2025 06:50

FrothyCothy · 26/06/2025 19:51

It doesn’t excuse the staring but I wouldn’t wear something that low cut for work.

I agree with this. He should not stare. But also I wouldn't wear that to work myself. But I'm old, so different times probably.

Ivy888 · 27/06/2025 06:31

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:53

I think it’s a really nice, flattering top. Fair enough if it’s ’ inappropriate ‘ for work. But it’s really nice. My work isn’t smart in any way. People walk around however they like.

It is a beautiful, flattering top. But not appropriate for work. No matter how casual people are dressed at your work. It’s too deep cut and the styling pulls all the attention to the cleavage. This is a top for going out.

G5000 · 27/06/2025 06:31

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 27/06/2025 00:01

Nice top! Honestly the amount of guys going around topless atm and we are expected to cover ourselves up - ridiculous! It looks nice, the guy was a creep!

topless men in your office? It would be challenging not to stare if Steve from Accounts showed up to a meeting without his shirt on.

Lighteningstrikes · 27/06/2025 06:15

You look amazing, but I’m not sure if it’s an appropriate outfit for work.

spoonbillstretford · 27/06/2025 04:40

Absentmindedsmile · 26/06/2025 19:48

Obviously it’s not women’s fault that men are gross and inappropriate a lot of the time. It’s not women’s fault that men assault women, a lot.

Having said that, if you feel uncomfortable with men or a man staring at your tits, don’t show your tits. Simple really. They’re not going to stop, sad but true.

Edited

I used to work with someone who stared at my breasts all the time and I was about 32B then and wore men's shirts. What should I do, bind them? Wear a burka? Or you know, point out that he is totally out of order.

DontTouchRoach · 27/06/2025 04:34

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

That escalated quickly.

SuperNovajovic · 27/06/2025 02:22

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 19:41

i dont think cleavages are suitable at work

it was 38 degrees today theyre lucky i wasnt in a bikini

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 02:09

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 02:08

Okay mommy, whatever you say mommy

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why

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 02:08

Buxusmortus · 27/06/2025 02:04

Don't be so utterly stupid.

Saying cleavage shouldn't be shown at work is a million miles away from saying women should be locked up.

I can only assume you have no knowledge or experience of the world because if you did you'd realise that there is such a thing as appropriate clothing for particular circumstances.
For example, a blouse that shows your cleavage - fine for a night out, inappropriate for the office.
Bikini - fine for the beach, inappropriate if an MP wore one in the House of Commons.
T shirt and shorts - absolutely fine in many casual circumstances but inappropriate if King Charles wore that outfit to the Trooping of the Colour.

Do you see? People should not and cannot wear whatever they like whenever they like. There are certain codes and standards of attire.

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Okay mommy, whatever you say mommy

Buxusmortus · 27/06/2025 02:04

WooleyMunky · 26/06/2025 23:59

Which is why all women should be locked away in cellars, just like you want them to to be, you vile poltroon.

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Don't be so utterly stupid.

Saying cleavage shouldn't be shown at work is a million miles away from saying women should be locked up.

I can only assume you have no knowledge or experience of the world because if you did you'd realise that there is such a thing as appropriate clothing for particular circumstances.
For example, a blouse that shows your cleavage - fine for a night out, inappropriate for the office.
Bikini - fine for the beach, inappropriate if an MP wore one in the House of Commons.
T shirt and shorts - absolutely fine in many casual circumstances but inappropriate if King Charles wore that outfit to the Trooping of the Colour.

Do you see? People should not and cannot wear whatever they like whenever they like. There are certain codes and standards of attire.

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:58

Smallsalt · 27/06/2025 01:03

Yes.
I wouldn't have that much out even on a night out.

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wow, you must be fun

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:57

Smallsalt · 27/06/2025 01:20

Nobody's tits, no matter how large, start at their neck only coverable with a crew neck jumper .

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Oh yes they do

bythefireplace · 27/06/2025 01:55

Smallsalt · 27/06/2025 01:20

Nobody's tits, no matter how large, start at their neck only coverable with a crew neck jumper .

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if I can’t show the slightest hint of cleavage then it rules out any v neck, scoop neck tops which are the most flattering
I can’t wear polo necks or slash necks as I look ridiculous
not to mention trying to get clothes that fit when you have 34KK boobs to start with then you add in not showing cleavage and trying to actually look nice and well, it’s pretty impossible

my boobs aren’t hanging out but I’m not worrying about a couple of cm of cleavage shadow, I can still look 100% appropriate

JayJayj · 27/06/2025 01:54

NorthXNorthWest · 26/06/2025 23:40

In a bar or other such environment no big deal. In a professional setting there is no context in which having your chest on show to the level of the photo the OP shared is acceptable. Save it for Tinder.

The OP shared that specific photo to give the impression that it was her to provoke a response. She clearly has form for attention seeking behaviour.

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Well I could tell straight away that the photo was a model.

I don’t see the big deal about a cleavage. She didn’t have her nipples out 🙄

This thread is crazy. It does matter what she wore, the colleague is a misogynist douche who should control himself. They are just boobs for fuck sake!

Smallsalt · 27/06/2025 01:20

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:10

You haven’t lived than. I had a friend at work, they started very close to her neck. She was huge. My across the neighbors boobs are so big that when she sits at my kitchen island they are almost half the space. She doesn’t want a breast reduction though. She keeps getting hurt wbc she loses her balance. She’s 74. She loves them.

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Nobody's tits, no matter how large, start at their neck only coverable with a crew neck jumper .

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:10

Smallsalt · 27/06/2025 01:04

I have literally never seen a human being whose tits start at their neck.

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You haven’t lived than. I had a friend at work, they started very close to her neck. She was huge. My across the neighbors boobs are so big that when she sits at my kitchen island they are almost half the space. She doesn’t want a breast reduction though. She keeps getting hurt wbc she loses her balance. She’s 74. She loves them.

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 27/06/2025 01:10

If he is new he probably doesn't know you are "the cleavage lady", I am sure he will get used to it and start to ignore

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:05

Boreded · 27/06/2025 00:54

Is it possible he had just zoned out. I’ve done that before (not looking at clevage) and been asked why I’m staring at xyz

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Yup, on big gorgeous boobies

Smallsalt · 27/06/2025 01:04

DilemmaDelilah · 26/06/2025 19:49

If you are a lady of bounteous curves generally, or generously endowed in the bosom department, it can be difficult not to have a cleavage if a top is anything other than right up to the neck. Just saying.

I have literally never seen a human being whose tits start at their neck.