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Original poster

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
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7
Christwosheds · 27/06/2025 11:59

DilemmaDelilah · 26/06/2025 19:50

However... I do think that top is unsuitable for work

Agree. It would also be inappropriate for a man to wear his shirt unbuttoned that far at work, to be fair. It looks like a top for cocktails or dinner, not really for work.

G5000 · 27/06/2025 11:58

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MadamCholetsbonnet · 27/06/2025 11:57

I’m a 32 H and no, I would never wear a top that revealing to work. It’s inappropriate.

Funnyduck60 · 27/06/2025 11:55

Of course he shouldn't stare but if you had a cleaner at home and she wore mini skirts and revealing tops would you feel it appropriate, especially if you have a male partner or adult son in the house?

coolbreezes · 27/06/2025 11:32

LaurieFairyCake · 27/06/2025 10:56

Yes, too low cut for work. Camisole or clippable piece of lace (they sell them on Amazon) is your friend here. Camisole too hot for this weather.

Oh I didn't know the clippable bits of lace existed! That might remedy some of my tops!

LaurieFairyCake · 27/06/2025 10:56

Yes, too low cut for work. Camisole or clippable piece of lace (they sell them on Amazon) is your friend here. Camisole too hot for this weather.

MsDDxx · 27/06/2025 10:07

dtarer · 26/06/2025 20:01

That’s not me in the pic guys! My boos are not as big as that at all.

I know it’s not you.

Doesn’t change anything.

MsDDxx · 27/06/2025 10:03

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:51

why is the top unsuitable ? Is it too low cut ?

😂😂

MsDDxx · 27/06/2025 10:02

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

It’s lovely and great for going out.

Not for work though.

But he shouldn’t be staring!

Devilrocknroller · 27/06/2025 09:59

If you want a subtle way of letting him know you know (and snapping him out of the stare), cross your arms in front, over your boobs (that’s what I did to a teacher who was staring at me when I was 16, popped his gaze right back up to mine after that! He got the message!)

Mothership4two · 27/06/2025 09:53

MasterBeth · 27/06/2025 09:18

Like all the times this has been said on this thread, this is a ludicrous comment.

This is not an appropriate outfit for some work roles and is perfectly appropriate for others.

The OP says this is fine at her work. Different workplaces have different expectations.

Maybe the guy could just not stare at her cleavage.

Edited
Show quote history

TBF OP just said her workplace isn't "smart". She also asked if it was appropriate - and she works there. To me it's a going out in the evening type of outfit so would be suitable for that kind of work environment. I wouldn't wear it in a more relaxed work environment either as it's slightly dressy. It's not risque though IMO, just quite low cut.

Obviously the major problem is the man staring at her frontage not what she was wearing.

I do find it odd to ask the question and then get snippy with posters though.

Piccante · 27/06/2025 09:43

My old manager used to do this. I used to snap my fingers and say "eyes up here!"

He thought it was funny 🙄

BIWI · 27/06/2025 09:35

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… and yet, amazingly, it’s still here.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 27/06/2025 09:29

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nomas · 27/06/2025 09:28

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 27/06/2025 00:07

Except they don't. A man would have to be wearing something very thin or sheer and they don't.

Show quote history

Have you ever looked at a man? Men’s nipples do stick out through their shirts or tops.

nomas · 27/06/2025 09:26

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Off topic but that topic looks like Boohoo or Dorothy Perkins polyester fast fashion. Not sure why you love it so much.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 27/06/2025 09:22

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:40

I get that people give it a two second look sometimes, that’s natural. This guy was just staring for ages though.

You don't mind people looking but he looked for too long?
Maybe he takes longer to process things or zoned out as some have mentioned on here.

MasterBeth · 27/06/2025 09:18

Lighteningstrikes · 27/06/2025 06:15

You look amazing, but I’m not sure if it’s an appropriate outfit for work.

Like all the times this has been said on this thread, this is a ludicrous comment.

This is not an appropriate outfit for some work roles and is perfectly appropriate for others.

The OP says this is fine at her work. Different workplaces have different expectations.

Maybe the guy could just not stare at her cleavage.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 27/06/2025 09:17

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:05

Yup, on big gorgeous boobies

Show quote history

He could be into small boobs and thought they were too huge and top was inappropriate for work.

Not everyone looking is lusting over them. Female posters have said on here they'd stare too as it's in your face.

It's human nature to look, rude to stare of course.
Same as a man in short shorts or a deep V shirt with chest hair showing.
I'd probably stare, but not because I thought he was gorgeous.

Fedupmumofadultsons · 27/06/2025 09:14

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Honestly no it's more a going out for the night top .it's nice with a nice cut but not for work just wear a cami underneath for work and it's sorted

Elevenor · 27/06/2025 09:13

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

I am large chested so I feel your pain when it comes to finding summery tops that don't show cleavage.

However, I wouldn't consider that too suitable for work without a cropped cami underneath. That is designed to show cleavage rather than having some visible because of the size of your chest being larger than average.

howshouldibehave · 27/06/2025 09:08

I'd probably struggle not to stare if a man was wearing a top like that with a v-cut nearly down to his navel at work. I wouldn't want to see that much of him or that much of anyone.

Middlechild3 · 27/06/2025 08:58

But why wear a top like that if you DON'T want people admiring your chest. Bizarre post. Flash cleavage and bust with a low cut top of course people will look lol, it screams "look at me, look at me" lol

MissMoneyFairy · 27/06/2025 08:57

dtarer · 26/06/2025 20:44

I wasn’t gona post a pic of myself. So I found the pic from where I got it. It’s not how it looks on me.

If that's not you in the photo we can't comment on how it looks on you or how much cleavage you showed

Greenartywitch · 27/06/2025 08:46

There are two issues here:

  • of course colleagues should not be staring at your body
  • but there is also the fact that tops that show cleavage are not appropriate for work environment, regardless of whether people stare at you or not.
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