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Original poster

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
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7
Welliesandtweed · 27/06/2025 19:08

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Massively inappropriate. You are one step from having them out. You hold some responsibility for this.

It's a bit like locking your front door. People shouldn't steal, but they do, so you play your part in prevention.

MiloMinderbinder · 27/06/2025 18:42

The design of your top, combined with the colour , does just a little bit focus the gaze of the onlooker on a particular area. Just a little bit. Badly disciplined, mindless onlooker. Rude, sexist onlooker. Badly controlled gaze. Completely out of order

BCBird · 27/06/2025 18:35

I would say cleavage is not suitable for work. I got a rack too but anything i wear for work if shows cleavage I wear a vest or put a pin in it. I think, if i went to doctors for example and they were showing cleavage i would not think it was suitable for a professional setting.

Ohtobemycat · 27/06/2025 18:31

I agree that men ahouldnt stare at your cleavage.
However, we know that some men are seedy fuckers, mysogynist judgemental arse holes and dirty bastards. Therefore, personally, I would not be wearing a top with cleavage to work sadly as i wouldnt want this unwanted attention from bellends.

passmethehairspray · 27/06/2025 18:26

I suspect the OP knows the top is inappropriate for work and is getting off on all the traffic this post is generating. Just saying.

After all, what kind of responsible adult (who is presumably smart enough to have a job), would need to ask strangers on the internet about her top AND supply pics of her in it?? Sounds incredibly self-indulgent and attention seeking..

insomniaclife · 27/06/2025 18:21

Q. Why do women’s clothes emphasise body parts?

A. Because men are aroused by visual stimulus and women must constantly be appraised for desirability

Q. Why do women wear clothes which reveal or emphasise body parts?

A. Because women want to score high in the appraisal men are giving them.

Q. So is this appropriate at work?

A. Fuck no. No no no.

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 27/06/2025 18:20

I disagree that today's times are enlightened, and also in a professional environment one should be wearing professional attire, not revealing, clingy clothing. Showing your cleavage at work is on the same level or inappropriateness of showing your butt-crack at work. Would you show your buttcrack at work?

fetchacloth · 27/06/2025 18:07

We're not in the 10th century now so you should be able to wear your tops.
Even in today's enlightened times I feel sad reading posts like this. 🙄

Hotflushesandchilblains · 27/06/2025 18:00

Ggfwqd · 27/06/2025 17:17

I was going to go say the same thing as well

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I was once part of a complaint about a male colleague who did just this. It applies to everyone.

VIOLETPUGH · 27/06/2025 17:42

not really work attire is it tho !

Cyanometer · 27/06/2025 17:41
  1. He's completely in the wrong for staring. What a pig.
  2. The top is inappropriate for work (but this doesn't make 1 any less true).
Ggfwqd · 27/06/2025 17:17

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 27/06/2025 17:13

Yes of course it is. Can't believe you think it might be ok. It's as inappropriate as if a man with a massive package was to wear really tight shorts and had a bulging crotch.

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I was going to go say the same thing as well

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 27/06/2025 17:13

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Yes of course it is. Can't believe you think it might be ok. It's as inappropriate as if a man with a massive package was to wear really tight shorts and had a bulging crotch.

howshouldibehave · 27/06/2025 17:02

It would also be inappropriate for a man to wear his shirt unbuttoned that far at work, to be fair.

Absolutely. If a man wore his shirt unbuttoned this far at work, that would be unreasonable. I wouldn't want to see that much of his flesh on show. Just like the OP.

MissMoneyFairy · 27/06/2025 14:53

It's not op in the photo

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 27/06/2025 14:42

Sorry op caught up now and have seen you say it’s not you in the picture!

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 27/06/2025 14:39

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

I’ll be honest OP, I’m a woman and would find it hard not to look. You have a great body. And if as a straight woman I’m thinking that then so will men

I

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 27/06/2025 14:35

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:58

wow, you must be fun

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What a weird comment- you think it's essential to have your tits on display to have a night out ?

NorthXNorthWest · 27/06/2025 14:32

JayJayj · 27/06/2025 01:54

Well I could tell straight away that the photo was a model.

I don’t see the big deal about a cleavage. She didn’t have her nipples out 🙄

This thread is crazy. It does matter what she wore, the colleague is a misogynist douche who should control himself. They are just boobs for fuck sake!

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You could tell. Great for you. What do you want? A medal or a chest to pin it on...

Ggfwqd · 27/06/2025 14:21

In my book as a woman i think it's only natural that a man will look. What's unacceptable is taking photos, touching or saying anything at all.

If a man just looks at what's available, I think it's natural. They are biologically wired to be more attracted to the visual. That doesn't excuse inappropriate behaviour though. But they will look.

Emonade · 27/06/2025 14:12

Funnyduck60 · 27/06/2025 11:55

Of course he shouldn't stare but if you had a cleaner at home and she wore mini skirts and revealing tops would you feel it appropriate, especially if you have a male partner or adult son in the house?

It’s not a revealing top or a mini skirt though is it

Emonade · 27/06/2025 14:12

Devianinc · 27/06/2025 01:58

wow, you must be fun

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😂😂😂

EBearhug · 27/06/2025 13:01

Loads of options if you Google "lace insert for low cut top" or similar.

TheBewleySisters · 27/06/2025 12:39

I think it's inappropriate for business attire, it looks unprofessional. Men will look, glance and hopefully glance away, staring is not on.

chatgptsbestmate · 27/06/2025 12:26

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:51

why is the top unsuitable ? Is it too low cut ?

Yes. Its too low cut.
The bloke shouldn't stare but also you should dress appropriately for work

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