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Original poster

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
silentlyleavetheirlife · 26/06/2025 19:45

Place your hand over your chest. He will know you know!

ZippyPeer · 26/06/2025 19:45

Ask a manager has some excellent strategies... https://www.askamanager.org/2022/01/my-new-coworker-keeps-staring-at-my-breasts.html

bythefireplace · 26/06/2025 19:45

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 19:41

i dont think cleavages are suitable at work

Every single top or dress I own shows some and I’ve never looked inappropriate at work
the only way for me not to show any is to wear a crew or polo neck and then I look like a walking pair of tits on legs which is probably more noticeable

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/06/2025 19:44

I've caught myself staring at people in meetings when my mind's wandering. And as a pp said, there is something about cleavage that draws the eye. Pretty sure I've unintentionally gawped at a colleague's tits.

CatherinedeBourgh · 26/06/2025 19:44

Unless your nipples were visible (which would be inappropriate in most workplaces, so bound to attract attention) then it's his fault not yours

MorrisZapp · 26/06/2025 19:42

My mum used to display a good few inches of cleavage and I found it mortifying. I don't think it's business friendly, though of course he was rude to stare.

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 19:41

i dont think cleavages are suitable at work

Original poster
dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:40

I get that people give it a two second look sometimes, that’s natural. This guy was just staring for ages though.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 26/06/2025 19:40

I don’t think we need to see the top to know he’s a sleaze who should not be behaving this way. Jeezo, is this really where we still are in 2025, he should be ashamed of himself. Can you speak to his manager to have a word? Or HR if you have an HR dept?

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 19:39

i bought myself camisole as i hate showing my cleavage, a new dress kept showing my cleavage so i did a last minute change of dress before i left for work today.
i am not sure if people intend to look but sometimes people can't help themselves, i was at an interview and i couldnt stop looking at a woman's cleavage, very off putting. i am not attracted to cleavages but somehow they attract the eye

TwistedWonder · 26/06/2025 19:36

Yes. Men staring at your tits is your fault. The same way being groped or sexually harassed is always the woman’s fault.

Those poor ickle menz just can’t help themselves so unless you’re covered head to toe then it’s always your fault.

*disclaimer that this obviously isn’t serious before I get flamed

Nopenousername · 26/06/2025 19:36

No, you’re not in the wrong here. As a society we have moved on from using clothing as an excuse to victim blame

ObtuseMoose · 26/06/2025 19:32

No one needs to see a picture of the top to be able to tell you that blokes shouldn't be staring at your cleavage.

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