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Original poster

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Pebbles16 · 26/06/2025 19:53

Deadringer · 26/06/2025 19:46

Not professional at work. You need to leave your breasts at home.

FFS.
I really hope you are joking

Original poster
dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:53

I think it’s a really nice, flattering top. Fair enough if it’s ’ inappropriate ‘ for work. But it’s really nice. My work isn’t smart in any way. People walk around however they like.

OP posts:
Aria2015 · 26/06/2025 19:53

Agree it doesn't excuse his behaviour, but I do think that's not really appropriate for work. I sometimes wear a higher cut crop top under dresses or tops that seem a bit low cut for work. Cheaper than buying new stuff.

LlynTegid · 26/06/2025 19:53

Unacceptable. You can avoid cleavage if you wish, however that should be your choice and not because of anyone's behaviour.

It should be challenged.

Absentmindedsmile · 26/06/2025 19:53

twinklystar23 · 26/06/2025 19:51

Easy said when your boobs are bigger than average as the clothes that suit such shapes are mostly v neck, wrap styled top, the only thi bg ive found that works are casual, roomy fitting shirts.

People need to stop jidging women but inappropriate oggling by men.

No one here is judging women. We know real life. Sad fact is men will stare at cleavage if cleavage is out.

BlueMum16 · 26/06/2025 19:53

Depending on your job and where you work I'm not sure that's auitable. Seems more going out wear. I wouldn't wear that in an office.

He was wrong to stare. Next time cough until you can get his attention on your face.

loobyloo1979 · 26/06/2025 19:53

I have a big chest 34J and get what you are saying about tops showing cleavage but I'd say that top shaped too much IMHO

MissMoneyFairy · 26/06/2025 19:52

I'd wear a cami under that top, it looks lovely for an evening out as it is.

G5000 · 26/06/2025 19:52

I'm a GG cup, never wear polo necks and still manage to not flash my tits at work, it really isn't impossible. Maybe a stylist appointment helps if you cannot possibly find anything?

AnotherNewName456 · 26/06/2025 19:52

Yes that top is unsuitable for work. Wear a camisole under it, takes away the problem.

While women should not be stared at, let’s take a bit of a measured approach and leave cleavage out of the workplace.

Notreallyme27 · 26/06/2025 19:51

Yeah, I’d put a cami vest under that. He shouldn’t be staring though. Put your hand under his chin and lift his head up next time he does it.

Original poster
dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:51

why is the top unsuitable ? Is it too low cut ?

OP posts:
twinklystar23 · 26/06/2025 19:51

Easy said when your boobs are bigger than average as the clothes that suit such shapes are mostly v neck, wrap styled top, the only thi bg ive found that works are casual, roomy fitting shirts.

People need to stop jidging women but inappropriate oggling by men.

FrothyCothy · 26/06/2025 19:51

It doesn’t excuse the staring but I wouldn’t wear something that low cut for work.

Original poster
dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:50

DilemmaDelilah · 26/06/2025 19:49

If you are a lady of bounteous curves generally, or generously endowed in the bosom department, it can be difficult not to have a cleavage if a top is anything other than right up to the neck. Just saying.

Yeah I have cleavage in many tops.

OP posts:
DilemmaDelilah · 26/06/2025 19:50

However... I do think that top is unsuitable for work

EBearhug · 26/06/2025 19:50

Call him out. "You're an adult. You know it's inappropriate to stare at my chest. Stop doing it."

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 19:50

yes in my opinion @dtarer

G5000 · 26/06/2025 19:49

of course this top is inappropriate for work, are you asking seriously?

DilemmaDelilah · 26/06/2025 19:49

If you are a lady of bounteous curves generally, or generously endowed in the bosom department, it can be difficult not to have a cleavage if a top is anything other than right up to the neck. Just saying.

Original poster
dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?
OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 26/06/2025 19:48

I don't notice cleavage but couldn't stop looking at a colleagues awful tattoo on her thigh in a mini skirt, she's not a young woman and it felt really awkward.

Absentmindedsmile · 26/06/2025 19:48

Obviously it’s not women’s fault that men are gross and inappropriate a lot of the time. It’s not women’s fault that men assault women, a lot.

Having said that, if you feel uncomfortable with men or a man staring at your tits, don’t show your tits. Simple really. They’re not going to stop, sad but true.

missmollygreen · 26/06/2025 19:47

Unpopular opinion..

People have their cleavage showing to show off their tits. You cant control who looks at the thing you are trying to show off.

Staring isnt cool though.

Deadringer · 26/06/2025 19:46

Not professional at work. You need to leave your breasts at home.

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