Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
CandelabraCat · 26/06/2025 20:17

MayaPinion · 26/06/2025 20:07

No, that’s definitely not a work outfit! I’d be staring at your tits and I’m straight 😂

Same 😂😂

Bigearringsbigsmile · 26/06/2025 20:16

Trevor....what do you really wear for work when you are driving that truck?

lessglittermoremud · 26/06/2025 20:16

I wouldn’t wear that to work and in my previous work setting and current one I would be asked not to wear something that revealing.
If your work place don’t mind what you wear then it’s great that you wore something that you felt comfortable in, however if you don’t want anyone ‘admiring’ your cleavage, the simplest thing would be to wear something a different style if you’re going to come across people who lack the manners to concentrate on your face.

EdithBond · 26/06/2025 20:16

It’s certainly not your fault that a man was staring at your breasts - in any setting, let alone a professional one! Men are solely responsible for their behaviour.

May well constitute sexual harassment at work.

However, I’d never wear a low cut top at work, in order to avoid sexualising myself. I’d wear a round neck or button up.

Nanny0gg · 26/06/2025 20:15

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:51

why is the top unsuitable ? Is it too low cut ?

Yes

And I would think you'd know that

londongirl12 · 26/06/2025 20:13

Yes that top is inappropriate for work.

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 26/06/2025 20:13

He shouldn’t be staring but that top is too low cut for work.

RowsOfFlowers · 26/06/2025 20:13

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Wow that top is really inappropriate business attire. Looks like something you’d wear on a date or night out.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 26/06/2025 20:11

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Completely appropriate for work....

If you work in hooters!!!!

Ffs this isn't be real!

HopscotchBanana · 26/06/2025 20:10

MayaPinion · 26/06/2025 20:07

No, that’s definitely not a work outfit! I’d be staring at your tits and I’m straight 😂

This made me lol.

Me too. But I'd just be constantly staring in disbelief that someone would have their boobs out like that in a workplace. Well, having said that, what's the workplace? Because if it's house mum at Hooters, it's probably bang on...

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 20:09

Profhilodisaster · 26/06/2025 20:01

Cleavages do not attract the eye, I assume you have full control of where you look.

no in an interview situation with someone in a vest top, it was 20 years ago and i still cringe about it

TheBerry · 26/06/2025 20:09

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Omg yeah this is not work attire OP 😅

Think I’d stare, too.

Unless you wear a white vest underneath it or something like that?

NPET · 26/06/2025 20:09

It is NOT your fault.
I get this all the time. A quick look would be O.K. (even women do that) but some men are OBSESSED. I'm not particularly "big" there but I am, in the words of one of my female friends, "a curvaceous lass", and unfortunately this leads to boys and men just STARING as if they think I'm going to say "oh wow you like my boobs - how would you like to play with them?".
I'm really pleased that one boy at school was reprimanded by both the headmaster and his father for commenting on them.

Cucy · 26/06/2025 20:08

I have big boobs and I know if I wear a low cut too at work then I need to wear a layer underneath it’s so my cleavage doesn’t show.

Of course he shouldn’t stare at your cleavage but I am a straight female and I would struggle not to look.

It’s like if someone wore a belly top or short skirt.
You would look at their tummy or legs (of course you’d try and not stare).

But this is obviously fake.

MayaPinion · 26/06/2025 20:07

No, that’s definitely not a work outfit! I’d be staring at your tits and I’m straight 😂

SilviaSnuffleBum · 26/06/2025 20:07

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

This has got to be a wind up: of course that isn't appropriate for work!

Branleuse · 26/06/2025 20:05

Its a smart evening top id say.
I have big boobs, and i think it's fine to have a small amount of cleavage at work, but that particular style would be too much for work.

It doesn't excuse his rude staring of course.
Does he still stare if you wore a tshirt ?

Dangermoo · 26/06/2025 20:05

dtarer · 26/06/2025 20:03

I think I may have to take a pic of me in that top, it doesn’t look like that.

Don't do that.

Hankunamatata · 26/06/2025 20:05

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Totally inappropriate for work

Pebbles16 · 26/06/2025 20:05

ZenNudist · 26/06/2025 19:58

Top perfectly acceptable for work if your job is busty bar maid or cabaret singer.

Back in the professional world, women dress modestly in high necks, and crew necks.

Yes he should not stare at your tits but there's zero reason to show cleavage at work.

@ZenNudist I will not compromise my comfort or style on male inadequacies

Dangermoo · 26/06/2025 20:05

That top needs a brooch.

MooreMooreMoore · 26/06/2025 20:04

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Yes, that’s a going out top!
Not excusing the gawping colleague

StopStartStop · 26/06/2025 20:04

Absolutely unsuitable for work. Cover yourself up.

dtarer · 26/06/2025 20:03

I think I may have to take a pic of me in that top, it doesn’t look like that.

OP posts:
PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 26/06/2025 20:03

Profhilodisaster · 26/06/2025 20:01

Cleavages do not attract the eye, I assume you have full control of where you look.

You're kidding? They're visually appealing, that's kind of the point of them.