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Original poster

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 21:35

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

nobody actually said that, you are just a wind up merchant however

bythefireplace · 26/06/2025 21:33

Yeah I wouldn’t wear that top, when I say I have cleavage I mean like this, they’re not low cut as such it’s just that I’m a KK cup

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?
New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?
Hotflushesandchilblains · 26/06/2025 21:33

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:29

What massive slags we are for daring to wear anything other than a turtle neck. Ironically these are probably all women who want to ‘ban the burka!’

Show quote history

Its not ironic and I am certainly not saying low cut top equals slag. But I do think there are standards of dress at work and things I would not expect to see. As someone who was part of a group of women who put in a complaint about a guy where we worked whose trousers were so tight you could probably tell if he was circumcised or not. There are just things not appropriate at work (or school) which are fine outside of it. There is nothing hypocritical about believing that.

ByMerryTiger · 26/06/2025 21:32

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

The majority of commenters (even those who think the hideous top is inappropriate for work) are saying that - whatever you were wearing - he shouldn’t be staring at your boobs.

People have been saying it since the very beginning. But you don’t want to hear it. Why? What is the purpose of this post?

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:29

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

What massive slags we are for daring to wear anything other than a turtle neck. Ironically these are probably all women who want to ‘ban the burka!’

incandescentglow · 26/06/2025 21:29

omg i love that top where's it from?? sorry if you've already said

i think thats a great work top and not at all inappropriate
the people who are saying it is have A cups and wear bloomers

Oriunda · 26/06/2025 21:29

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Are you joking? All,prepared to bat for you until you posted this. Of course it’s inappropriate for work. Night out, yes. Work, no. I’d be bloody staring, tbh.

k1233 · 26/06/2025 21:29

Hellohelga · 26/06/2025 20:30

Yes top is unacceptable for work and very unprofessional

It's interesting. Someone referenced the other thread earlier that was about dress standards dropping. The OP on that thread copped a caning. Apparently there is no "professional" dress code for work and a tshirt and jeans are perfectly acceptable at all workplaces. Apparently people should be able to wear what they want as their appearance in the office does not impact their capabilities. It's interesting that slobby dressing is ok but a nice top isn't because, dear god, there's cleavage on show. As I noted above, personally I pin tops like that higher. That's my personal preference, not a requirement for others to follow.

scritter · 26/06/2025 21:26

Are you a barmaid? That is not an appropriate top for an office environment. In an office environment, it screams desperate for attention

Regardless of the top and the job, is it still 1980 where you are?

Original poster
dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

OP posts:
Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pebbles16 · 26/06/2025 21:24

MyBoldGreyPoet · 26/06/2025 21:02

I agree. I have always thought that when someone is showing their cleavage, it's almost an invitation to look, maybe? They chose to wear something that shows their breasts, and of course, people are going to look; it's natural. That is something that is always going to happen, regardless of gender, and I hate it when people say otherwise.

Show quote history

I just don't even know where to start with your post @MyBoldGreyPoet
I don't "invite" anyone to ogle, stare or otherwise gawp at my arms when I'm wearing a t-shirt, my calves when I am wearing a skirt, nor my chest when I'm wearing a v-neck. They might do the first two; but they definitely SPEAK to my chest.

G5000 · 26/06/2025 21:24

Alwaystired2023 · 26/06/2025 21:22

I think it's fine OP you have boobs it's fine what are you supposed to do

Edited

Put clothes on?

Peacepleaselouise · 26/06/2025 21:24

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Yes

HelenCurlyBrown · 26/06/2025 21:23

Jackiepumpkinhead · 26/06/2025 21:21

Top is hideous and you’re obviously on the wind up.

I did think that. Nobody wears tops like this?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/06/2025 21:23

I'd wear a camisole underneath if I really wanted to wear something like that. I used to wear wrap style dresses at one point, and would always have a vest/camisole underneath

Alwaystired2023 · 26/06/2025 21:22

I think it's fine OP you have boobs it's fine what are you supposed to do

Jackiepumpkinhead · 26/06/2025 21:21

Top is hideous and you’re obviously on the wind up.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 26/06/2025 21:19

FrothyCothy · 26/06/2025 19:51

It doesn’t excuse the staring but I wouldn’t wear something that low cut for work.

Agreed

dontshootmessenger · 26/06/2025 21:19

Oh dear, Google ads having a laugh at this sorry OP

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?
BoredZelda · 26/06/2025 21:19

I have large boobs. I’ve never had a problem with tops showing cleavage if I didn’t want to show cleavage.

gottabereallyhonest · 26/06/2025 21:17

I am an exclusively gay man. I have not kissed a girl since 1993, when I was fifteen, and that was as intimate as it got. I have no interest in women's bodies at all.

I would absolutely have been unable to avoid staring at your chest if you had stood in front of me wearing that. Not a doubt about it.

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:15

CatherinedeBourgh · 26/06/2025 19:44

Unless your nipples were visible (which would be inappropriate in most workplaces, so bound to attract attention) then it's his fault not yours

Exactly this

k1233 · 26/06/2025 21:13

I wear a lot of tops and dresses in that style. I have big boobs. You need to master pinning. I'd pin that about 3" higher which would make it appropriate. I can't wear scoop necks - fabric for miles with a horizontal focus. So tops and dresses are either throat level or V-neck/wrap style

ETA I worked with someone I called Tittsie Larue. Modest chest but good god they were barely contained. If you were standing up speaking with her while she was sitting down you copped an eyeful. You really don't need to have the girls out at work.

Feelingleftoutagain · 26/06/2025 21:11

I've had a similar problem, I put my head down at the height my cleavage was and said hey my heads up there and pointed upwards, it works!

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