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Original poster

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
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7
Sassybooklover · 26/06/2025 21:46

Speaking as a woman who has ample cleavage (34FF), yes V necked tops do suit me better. High necked tops, emphasises the fact I am big busted. However, your top is not appropriate for work, as it is, you are showing way too much cleavage. Wear a black camisole underneath it, if you want to wear it to work. A little glimpse of cleavage is perfectly acceptable, but that top is a plunging V neck, and it's too much flesh for work. There's a lot of cleavage on display, and it would have been hard for him not to notice, but he should have had enough awareness not to stare. I wear V neck tops, but any dress/top that I think might be too low for work, I wear a camisole underneath - I have several in neutral colours.

G5000 · 26/06/2025 21:46

Moomdingou · 26/06/2025 21:38

Don’t see anything wrong with your top. If you have large boobs they will sometimes spill out due to the design of the top.

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how about wear a different top then, one that can contain your boobs so they don't spill out all over the office meeting room table?

Pluvia · 26/06/2025 21:46

That top's not suitable for work, OP. I had to buy some new glasses recently and had them fitted by a young woman as generously endowed as you are, and showing a similar amount of cleavage. Every time she leant towards me to adjust the fit of my specs and place a dot on the lens I found myself only a couple of inches away from her bosom. It was far too intimate for comfort and if I'd been a man I would have been either thrilled to the core or terrified that I'd be accused of staring.

JustSawJohnny · 26/06/2025 21:43

OP has clearly stated that nobody wears office attire at her workplace and just wear what they want so why do people keep saying the top isn't appropriate 'for an office'?

Is it only big titted women who have to button up to the neck? I'd literally have to to stop anyone seeing my cleavage.

abracadabra1980 · 26/06/2025 21:43

I always think that exposing cleavages is a bit 'tacky' - anywhere. Never looks good, but that's just my opinion. No excuse for him staring at you though.

ayepecking · 26/06/2025 21:42

OP it's really not a professional look. Bit like a guy going to work in shorts perhaps. Be classy.

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 21:42

how would you like to be faced with that top at a bank?
your eyebrows would certainly rise

Vitrolinsanity · 26/06/2025 21:41

Oh come on. That’s not a work top at any speed.

Honeypickle · 26/06/2025 21:41

Lovely going out top! But completely inappropriate for an office.

JustSawJohnny · 26/06/2025 21:41

Call it out. Every time. Loudly.

'My eyes are up here'.

Not your problem in the slightest.

SoMuchBadAdvice · 26/06/2025 21:41

I'm showing my age, but if the clothing embarrasses you (it does), then don't wear it.

The next question is whether you ought to feel embarrassed - nobody should feel embarrassed at work by their clothing, so you need to raise the subject with HR in order to establish what is acceptable professional dress. My own opinion of the photograph that you have provided is that it is not professional office wear, but the important opinion is that of your employer.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 26/06/2025 21:41

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Really? That is your best response to a different opinion. Ok then..... no wonder you cant see a problem here.

BrendaSmall · 26/06/2025 21:40

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

If you wore that at my place of work you’d be sent home to get changed!
Because of the environment I work in we have to be covered, nothing short, strappy or showing too much flesh!!

Hotflushesandchilblains · 26/06/2025 21:39

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:38

even if she was wearing a 00s Jodie Marsh belt top a man shouldn’t be sat in a work meeting staring at her tits!!! The internalised misogyny on this place is so bad

This is separate issue. yes, there are creeps who will stare at your boobs whatever you wear, and it is totally unacceptable. In or out of work.

But there are also things that should be worn at work.

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 21:39

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another one who disagrees, but no doubt agrees with you @dtarer

MinnieGB · 26/06/2025 21:39

The top is not appropriate for most workplaces but it’s completely unacceptable for him to be staring.

SheridansPortSalut · 26/06/2025 21:39

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

I don't understand why you asked the question if you were going to react like that if you don't like the answer.

Moomdingou · 26/06/2025 21:38

bythefireplace · 26/06/2025 21:33

Yeah I wouldn’t wear that top, when I say I have cleavage I mean like this, they’re not low cut as such it’s just that I’m a KK cup

Don’t see anything wrong with your top. If you have large boobs they will sometimes spill out due to the design of the top.

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:38

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EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 21:38

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:37

Yeah I got your number ladies. Just like you claim to have mine.

you asked the question.
you got your answer

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:38

even if she was wearing a 00s Jodie Marsh belt top a man shouldn’t be sat in a work meeting staring at her tits!!! The internalised misogyny on this place is so bad

Hotflushesandchilblains · 26/06/2025 21:38

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:36

But her top is not in anyway inappropriate!! It’s a very flattering top for large boobs.

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I would not expect to see any cleavage at work. Its a lovely top and I am sure it is flattering. But not work appropriate.

Original poster
dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:37

Yeah I got your number ladies. Just like you claim to have mine.

OP posts:
Moomdingou · 26/06/2025 21:36

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Not at all. Very unprofessional.

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:36

Hotflushesandchilblains · 26/06/2025 21:33

Its not ironic and I am certainly not saying low cut top equals slag. But I do think there are standards of dress at work and things I would not expect to see. As someone who was part of a group of women who put in a complaint about a guy where we worked whose trousers were so tight you could probably tell if he was circumcised or not. There are just things not appropriate at work (or school) which are fine outside of it. There is nothing hypocritical about believing that.

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But her top is not in anyway inappropriate!! It’s a very flattering top for large boobs.