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Original poster

New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

488 replies

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:29

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

OP posts:
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7
Catcatcat111 · 26/06/2025 22:08

I think that’s inappropriate for work. Colleague being unreasonable for staring.

Walkaround · 26/06/2025 22:08

I think the top is inappropriate in a work situation - whether male or female, it draws the eye to the cleavage and I really don’t want to have my eyes drawn to a woman’s cleavage at work any more than I want a man wandering around in extremely tight trousers, or with a large expanse of hairy chest exposed in the workplace. It’s uncomfortable to have your eye drawn to something you know you shouldn’t be staring at - and it is definitely inappropriate to sit and stare. Imo, just as nakedness at work is way outside our cultural norms, I think a top cut low enough that a woman with smaller breasts would have the whole lot flopping out if her top were cut that low, is too low for work. Outside of the work environment is another matter entirely - it’s an extremely flattering top for someone with a good cleavage.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 26/06/2025 22:05

I wouldn’t wear a top that low to work. I think if you can see a cleavage line on big boobs or a gap on the chest between smaller boobs then it’s not very professional. Totally different to a night out. I’m a DD and I choose tops that are v neck as high necks aren’t flattering on me (they give me a frumpy shelf of a chest) but they still look good without having any cleavage on show. I’d wear a cami top under a wrap top.

FrothyCothy · 26/06/2025 22:05

Moomdingou · 26/06/2025 22:02

But what about the dozen’s of men’s nipples I see everyday sticking out of their shirts? Why are nipples, which you can’t control a women’s issue?

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Is your workplace very cold?!

EveryOtherNameTaken · 26/06/2025 22:04

Why are you showing it at work? You know it's a cleavage. Even you are acknowledging people looking. I would look too and think it attention seeking. I have a pretty good body but never wear anything to show it. That would be unprofessional.

MyBoldGreyPoet · 26/06/2025 22:03

Pebbles16 · 26/06/2025 21:24

I just don't even know where to start with your post @MyBoldGreyPoet
I don't "invite" anyone to ogle, stare or otherwise gawp at my arms when I'm wearing a t-shirt, my calves when I am wearing a skirt, nor my chest when I'm wearing a v-neck. They might do the first two; but they definitely SPEAK to my chest.

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Okay then. Maybe I should have rephrased it. But you can't deny that women want to wear these sorts of tops (for a reason?)

LillyPJ · 26/06/2025 22:03

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Well - it depends what kind of work you mean! 😆

andthat · 26/06/2025 22:02

AnotherNewName456 · 26/06/2025 19:52

Yes that top is unsuitable for work. Wear a camisole under it, takes away the problem.

While women should not be stared at, let’s take a bit of a measured approach and leave cleavage out of the workplace.

This.

Moomdingou · 26/06/2025 22:02

CatherinedeBourgh · 26/06/2025 19:44

Unless your nipples were visible (which would be inappropriate in most workplaces, so bound to attract attention) then it's his fault not yours

But what about the dozen’s of men’s nipples I see everyday sticking out of their shirts? Why are nipples, which you can’t control a women’s issue?

howshouldibehave · 26/06/2025 21:59

How would you feel if I showed that much of my boobs at work to a class of fifteen year old boys every day, OP?

Violetparis · 26/06/2025 21:59

Is this for real ? Not appropriate for work.

tillyandmilly · 26/06/2025 21:58

Why dont you wear a camisole - I am big up top but I don't wear plunging necklines! I wear smart shirts/blouses with buttons!

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:57

HopscotchBanana · 26/06/2025 21:55

Well,. obviously. Said nobody.

Just keep getting your tits out down to your belly button in the office, it's clearly the look you like, and want to play the faux naive stance that anyone might stare at how unprofessional you look.

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Seriously!!!!!!

lifeonmars100 · 26/06/2025 21:56

He is an immature perve who should not behave like that. Personally i would not wear a top like that to work but it is your choice

Viviennemary · 26/06/2025 21:56

He shouldn't stare. But showing cleavage is inappropriate for work IMHO. Most jobs anyway.

HopscotchBanana · 26/06/2025 21:55

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

Well,. obviously. Said nobody.

Just keep getting your tits out down to your belly button in the office, it's clearly the look you like, and want to play the faux naive stance that anyone might stare at how unprofessional you look.

SleepQuest33 · 26/06/2025 21:52

I don’t think he should have been staring at you! Surely he can control his gaze. however, I also think that top is completely in appropriate for the workplace.

DinaofCloud9 · 26/06/2025 21:52

dtarer · 26/06/2025 21:25

Ok I see. So I was asking for it then, wasn’t I. What an inappropriate, unprofessional slag I am. I deserved what I got.

So dramatic.

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 26/06/2025 21:51

dtarer · 26/06/2025 19:49

Is that inappropriate for work?

Yes! How could someone not look?!

coolbreezes · 26/06/2025 21:51

I have very decent sized breasts - I manage never to have a cleavage at work. I am not saying we all need to dress in Burqas but equally noone should be dressing like they are on a night out in wetherspoons

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 21:49

JustSawJohnny · 26/06/2025 21:43

OP has clearly stated that nobody wears office attire at her workplace and just wear what they want so why do people keep saying the top isn't appropriate 'for an office'?

Is it only big titted women who have to button up to the neck? I'd literally have to to stop anyone seeing my cleavage.

if you dont have ample bosoms you dont get a cleavage, but it still is preferable not wearing a revealing shirt in work whatever your size.

minnienono · 26/06/2025 21:49

I would wear a camisole with that top. That said it’s rude to stare!

howshouldibehave · 26/06/2025 21:48

It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

If you wore a top that went straight across above your boobs, rather than a very deep v-neck one that deliberately shows them off, it would probably be far more appropriate for work though...

Emonade · 26/06/2025 21:47

EleanorReally · 26/06/2025 21:39

another one who disagrees, but no doubt agrees with you @dtarer

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Yes I do agree, the top is a very normal top that is a v neck. I do not understand the women on here. You are awful

Devianinc · 26/06/2025 21:47

Butchyrestingface · 26/06/2025 20:58

That isn't OP though. It's just some rando model with an ample figure which apparently is nothing like the OP's.

You're going to ask why she posted the photo in that case but that's above my pay grade.

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I didn’t realize. Oh well, I still wish I looked like that in a top but it’s never going to happen

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