New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

That depends on so many things though
where your boobs sit, the shape of them, how far apart they are, what size, how high on your chest etc

mine are the size of my head and sit higher up and close together so it’s a lot harder to dress. Shirts or anything with buttons are out, I have cleavage in every single scoop or v neck. I’m not wearing a polo neck or slash neck or I look like a walking pair of boobs
not to mention finding clothes that fit in the first place on my waist and bust (please bravissimo bring back clothes!)

I am a 38gg and manage to clothe myself everyday without displaying cleavage unless I want to. Saying you can't help it is such a cop out.

Odfod.

I have big boobs. I have to wear high necked tops if I don't want to show any cleavage at all.

My husband and I can both wear plain white work shirts with the top two buttons undone. I will clearly have a lot more chest to look at. Because it's there. Because it exists. Not because I'm showing it off.

I often wear really high necked tops even in hot weather because of nasty judgemental wankers who assume being well endowed is some sort of symbol of sexual availability. I truly hope you're ashamed of yourself. Your opinions actively curtail the way that women like me live.

Thats such a hideous, internalised misogynistic thing to say. I feel really sorry for you

Thank you!!’

No it wasn’t, I don’t think you understand

Why aren’t the old colleagues staring …?

The colleague is pathetic/sleazy/puerile. You are showing a lot of cleavage for work. Now, the two things are linked. They shouldn't be. Do you mind your cleavage being stared at? If you don't, carry on showing your cleavage. If you do, either cover up or think of some lines to use if he does it again. When it happened to me, I said 'How would it be if I spent the next meeting staring at your crotch?' (It was a stand-up meeting.) That was the end of it.

Unfortunately, whatever we may think or say, some men will look/stare at cleavage/legs/bottom. Up to you what you do about it, but it won't stop happening with some men.

In my books. Looking is normal and even a well behaved man would find it hard to resist.

What's definitely 100% wrong would be touching without permission and taking photos

Men, they will stare, it doesn't make them all perverts and predators. They were on display, this blouse shows a bit too much for an professional setting. This is my opinion, I am a much heavier busted woman, I prefer v-neck ,but plunging neck line at work is a no. I wish woman would stop constantly bashing men, they will look, that is what they do. He made you uncomfortable, really? It is apparent you wear this blouse often, it compliments you, so does this mean you also feel uncomfortable walking down the street, or a function outside of work wearing this blouse ? But you wear it anyway to work, knowing it makes you uncomfortable when people (men) see you out in public and look and or stare ? If you show, they are going to look, stare, no it's not nice, you should have called it to his attention " Do you mind not staring at my breasts, thanks " I would have

Call him out on it in the meeting

youre very funny. fashion is a form of free speech. what are you saying.

Ridiculous comment- as if the only options were a burqa or that top.

You obviously like the attention it gives you. The obsession for breast reveal seems to be the norm. Really stupid if women wish to be seen as equals and not sex objects. Just wear a big blouse. It’s like you are offering them on a plate. I have big breasts and spent most of my life trying to disguise the fact not flaunt them. It always seems so desperate.

… which is what we have all been responding to: the implication that she was showing off that amount of cleavage. The reality? We’ll never know!

DD’s 6th form dress code was: “The head doesn’t want to see up it, down it or through it”.
Seemed a perfectly sensible standard and good advice for the future. We also had conversations about men upskirting and if you want them to value your conversation make sure they are looking at your eyes and not your chest.

I do get it maybe harder if you have big breasts which neither myself or either of my DDs have had to struggle with. M&S do (or used to do) shirts with a hidden button for extra control in key places, I’ve forgotten what they called them. There are lots of nice tops and dresses with drapery sorts of cowl necks that don’t show cleavage. I personally don’t think cleavage is appropriate for work.

That said he should know better than to stare. You should probably let him know you are not amused in some way. Maybe carry a clip board and cross your arms as you clutch the board to your chest in a performative way next time he does it.

Well she did post a photo of the top. It was completely inappropriate for work.

There are quite a few options between a burqa and a going out top with massive cleavage. Or I can also ask, why not go to work in a Borat mankini and then complain about perverts staring.

Well, as @dtarer hasn’t posted an actual photo of her actual outfit and actual cleavage, we’ll never know quite how much a ‘bit’ is!

Is she supposed to wear a burqa to work because some idiot can't be professional? She never said that she had her "tits out", she said that the top she wore showed a bit of cleavage.

She has contributed to the problem by going to work with her tits out!"
If you don't want people to look, don't put it on display!

I'm sure you already know the answer to your question, how could it possibly be your fault?
Your colleague is 100% in the wrong, his behaviour was unacceptable and completely unprofessional. We really need to hold men to account much more, instead of always pushing blame on women for just being normal.

It’s not suitable for work. Stick a vest top under it

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