To absolutely at lowest after seeing a photo of myself taken at work?

There are very few people who look ok in candid shots. Selfies are so popular because people can see how they look and adjust their face to look better. If I look ok in a photo it is a complete fluke because I usually look a bit mad eyed.

I'm sorry you feel so rubbish, OP. I totally understand how you feel. I had to record a video for a course I'm doing last night and I was absolutely mortified at how I looked on it! I have recently put on some weight and a few years ago had cellulitis of the face which means my face is lopsided. The increase in weight has made it look almost deformed and it really was a shock seeing how bad it looked.

May is a long time away if you want to do something to build your confidence but we all take unflattering photos.

@ComtesseDeSpair did you really just suggest someone with an eating disorder works on a diet ? Can’t cope with mumsnet sometimes

What would you like from this, OP? Do you want reassurance that photos don’t always give an accurate representation of what you look like? Because it’s correct that sometimes they don’t. Or would you like acknowledgment that sometimes, a photo is yourself as others will see you, and it’s a bit of a wake-up call?

If you’re getting married in May, you have almost a full year to work on things. You can change your diet, work on your fitness, drop a couple of dress sizes easily in that time, and look more like how you’d want to look. You have the time to do it in small steps.

I heard a recording of myself recently and thought do I really sound like that, how could anyone even want to listen to me speak.

Please be kind to yourself .
The majority of people don’t look their best when caught unawares and not “posed “ .

Many years ago I lived very close to a Supermodel !
Think Corsa advert !

Saw her around the village regularly and while pretty she was very far removed from
the absolute stunner she was on the advert that went global .

😆 🤣 gurning...we have been there, with the awful photo capture.

No one else sees you in the way you see yourself - they'll see someone knowledgeable, who has their shit together, acting with poise and confidence.
When was the last time you looked at a picture of someone else and picked out flaws like you've described?

I hear you!! I had to do my passport renewal last week and got DH to take some photos of me and I honestly cried when I saw them. I was in shock. I looked hideous. And when I say hideous I mean HIDEOUS!

I was actually in shock at how ugly I was. Double chin, lopsided face, one eye bigger than the other, joules and sagging skin and my skin looked lacklustre and dull. I was honestly mortified and couldn't look at them.

I couldn't use them and had to get them taken again, this time with a full face of make up and some clever lighting. They were much better but I still hated them.

I just couldn't stop thinking that this must be how everyone else see's me.

It has knocked my self esteem for six and I hate myself now.

Oh you’re not alone, a bad photo has been known to upset me for days or weeks afterwards 😖 The truth is, it’s unlikely other people have given the photo a second thought or that’s even how you really look. It’s just an unflattering photo + we are all our own harshest critics. Try googling a celebrity name + bad photo, it might cheer you up 🤷‍♀️ we all have bad photos and this was likely just a bad unflattering angle.

This is the same as when you hear your myself speak when recorded

No one else sees us or hears how we do about ourselves